Lord Have Mercy - Another Christian Attacks

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I entered into a fascinating conversation with someone that reads this blog and remembered my Skype name.
Apparently my calling Christians idiots upset this person enough for them to send me a message.
Here's the log :
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Them: Is this Arthur
Me: Yep
Them: I realy think you are offensive to me when calling me an idiot
Me: Pardon?
Them: Jesus loves you
Me: Even when I have premarital sex with myself or another person?

A 15 minute pause while they went to get some holy water.

Then: Jesus loves everyone
Me: Wow Jesus sounds super awesome does he do Bar Mitvah's?

No response for a few minutes ...

Them: Jesus wasn't Jewish

What version of the bible does this dude read?

Me: He wasn't?
Them: No and that is racist
Me: What's racist?
Them: You
Me: How am I racist?
Them: Talking about Christians saying "idiot"

This person clearly can't follow a conversation but okay!

Me: I'm not the only one who thinks that
Them: You will go to Hell if there is no repenting
Me: Will that be a one way trip? Or do I have the choice to come back as some kind of cat?

Another few minutes pass without response

Them: Jesus died for you
Me: Boy was he barking up the wrong tree
Them: What
Me: Have you ever considered the benefits of Scientology? Xenu threw aliens into a volcano for our sins and my auditor says mine was the easiet brain to wash.
Them: I don't understand what you're talking
Me: Quelle suprise
Them: Quelle
Me: Nevermind
Them: What's Quelleee ?!
Me: You're making Xenu angry
Them: What's that crazy!!!!!
Me; And you wouldn't like him when he's angry ... look what he did to Tom Cruise
Them: Your mind is all in confusion
Me: I like pudding

Nearly 30 minutes later ...

Them: Back
Me: YAY!
Them: May I add you
Me: Add me to what exactly?
Them: My message
Me: Your what?
Them: PROGRAM!
Me: Did you lose your brain pills?
Them: That's racist
Me: Lady you're nuts
Them: I'm not lady
Me: Are you sure about that cause last time I attended church there were people practically suffocating in the closet
Them: Why you call me that
Me: Call you what?
Them: You're basted going to hell!
Me: I'm basted? ... that sounds kinky
Them: Im man
Me: Alright
Them: Don't you think Jesus is crying when you don't like him
Me: Who said anything about not liking Jesus? ... anybody who likes to party like that dude ain't all bad
Them: You say bad things
Me: Dink tit boob
Them: What?
Me: You told me to say bad things
Them: Your mind is crazy and y uor blog is huist
Me: Ummm?
Them: SHIT FOR SIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Is that like "Dialing For Dollars"?
Them: What !!!!!
Me: You sound awfully upset are you sure you wouldn't like a nap?
Them: I'm going to be in Heaven and you are going to suffeR!!!!!!!!! LLOLOLOLLLOL
Me: You need to get the hospital to re-think your day pass
Them: JESUS DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I imagine that had something to do with being nailed to a piece of plywood for several hours ... if he was Jesus why didn't he just take himself down off the cross?
Them: He DIDDDDEED IDIOT!
Me: He did what now? How come you started this conversation sane and got crazy? Is this even the same person?
Them: HELL!
Me: You're really cutting into my masturbation time can't we continue this tomorrow?
Them: NO crazy! JESUS DIED JESUS DIED JESUS DIDE JESUD DIED JESUS DIED JEDUS DIED JEDUS DIED JESUD DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: And it sounds like you're still going through the grieving process
Them: I'm leaving
Me: Mmkay ... peace be with you

Arthur
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11 comments:

Angel said...

ROFLMFAO

Okay, that was completely funny. And the person a complete loon. LOL

Loved it. LOL

Webfeed said...

All I can say is "Holy Shit"... yes, that's sorta' like "Dialing For Dollars".

The Freelance Cynic said...

OMFG! Or rather Oh their F***ing God.

I may have to move you from 'Blogs I read.' into 'Blogs I laugh at.' beause I am finding it hard to stand up straight.

Very clever. Well done.

Peace be with you.

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