Don't Wet Yourself

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I don't mean to get the American's into a snit, but you may want to get your incontinence supplies ready for what I'm about to tell you.
I think Michael Moore should be President.
I can imagine that there would be a lot of people who would loathe this idea, but you're an idiot and I don't like you.
Michael Moore's new film seems to indicate that he's in touch with people, and willing to take steps to make sure that the people who need help get it.
Now if we could only get President Bush to leave, and just hand over the office to Moore.
To hell with an election, and to hell with the people who want to pick on Michael Moore simply because he tells things like they are.

Arthur
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I Think That I've Figured It Out

Dear Constant Reader,

I think I've figured out the best way to get the President to admit that he's ready to retire.
Ready?
Let's get a CIA operative to sneak into his bedroom, jerk him off into a cup, and spill that cup of love batter on the nearest piece of White House staff clothing.
A simple DNA test, and voila!
I realize that this plan may be full of problems, but it seems that the only way to get rid of a President is to have evidence of his semen somewhere on the premises.
I'm confident that we'd be able to find someone willing to jerk the man off, and think of what good it will do.

Arthur
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I Feel Pretty So Pretty So Pretty

Dear Constant Reader,

Normally you'd think that only Elton John would require the use of Makeup Mirrors among men, but why is that so?
Why can't a man look after himself without folks think that he's playing for the other team?
I get so tired of people assuming that because I look after myself that there must be something wrong with me. It's seems to me that something is wrong with them.
There's nothing wrong with caring about your face.
Now I'm going out on a date to a bathhouse, with my boyfriend Juan.
Juan knows how to treat a lady!

Arthur
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I'm Not Condoning Anything But ...

Friday, June 29, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Here's your opportunity to see Michael Moore's new film "Sicko".
I feel fine sharing this link because it's not me that's breaking any copyright laws.
Download "Sicko" here : Pop!: Download Sicko
I haven't seen the film yet, but I know that it's going to be up to Moore's usual standards.

Update :
The last fifteen minutes of this film will have you in tears.
And to JimK who spends his time bashing Michael Moore :
You didn't get what you deserved from Mr. Moore
What Michael should have done is sued your selfish, and ignorant ass into the dirt.
It's a shame that your wife didn't drop dead before you got the check from Michael Moore.
I guess there is no justice in the world.
What's really sad?
He kept your cow alive, and you still insist on bashing him.
The man that you call "a 300 lb. jerkoff in a baseball hat followed by a fucking film crew" saved the woman that you happen to be fucking.
You must feel really good about yourself right?

Arthur
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SCC upholds federal rules on tobacco advertising

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

And yet the booze companies are allowed to do whatever the hell they please ...

The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled against a challenge of the Tobacco Act by Canada's three major cigarette companies, rejecting their push for more advertising leeway.

In February, Imperial Tobacco, JTI Macdonald, and Rothmans, Benson & Hedges challenged the Tobacco Act -- brought in by Jean Chr├ętien's Liberal government in 1997 -- saying the legislation was so vague that it could be interpreted as a total advertising ban.

In theory, the current law does allow for advertising in adult-oriented magazines, in adult establishments like bars and by direct mail.

However, tobacco companies have refrained from advertising during the last decade of court battles.

The companies argued that the law violated their right to free speech in their commercial advertising.

In a 9-0 judgment, the court ruled Thursday that the detailed regulations could be justified under the Charter of Rights.

Chief Justice Beverly McLachlin, writing for the unanimous court, said the conclusion was that the law's key provisions "are constitutional in their entirety."

CTV's Rosemary Thompson said the SCC made the decision because of the overwhelming health evidence against smoking.

"The Supreme Court said... there are many provisions under this law that do infringe the Charter but that they're justified," Thompson said from the SCC Thursday.

"The Supreme Court cited the statistics -- that 45,000 Canadians die every year from smoking-related illnesses."

The tobacco companies were up against Ottawa, six intervening provinces -- Ontario, Quebec, Manitoba, New Brunswick, Saskatchewan and B.C. -- and the Canadian Cancer Society.

"The tobacco industry has spent a decade and millions of dollars of legal fees to try and overturn these laws... because this law is going to have an impact on their sales," Rob Cunningham, a lawyer for the Canadian Cancer Society, told Canada AM Thursday before the ruling.

Cunningham said since the law has been enforced over the last decade smoking rates have declined from 30 per cent to 18 per cent.

"Many people will be very surprised that this law does not ban advertising, there's only partial restrictions, even though many other Western democratic countries have total bans on advertising," he said.

Advertising restrictions

The legal debate over tobacco advertising has been going on for nearly 20 years, since Brian Mulroney's Conservative government imposed a ban in 1988 on nearly all forms of advertising by the industry.

That legislation, known as the Tobacco Product Control Act, was overturned by the Supreme Court in 1995 in a close 5-4 judgment.

The ruling found that the government had failed to justify a total ad ban based on public health grounds and had consequently violated the constitutional right of the tobacco industry to free speech.

However, the ruling left room for a more limited set of rules that helped curb advertising directed at young people or the so-called 'lifestyle ads' depicting smokers in various settings.

In 1997, the Tobacco Act was created to meet the Supreme Court guidelines but was quickly challenged by the big three.

Regulation in 2003 also closed a sponsorship loophole that companies had used to have their name displayed at events like the Montreal Grand Prix.

Those rules were upheld by a Quebec trial judge but were further complicated when the case reached a Quebec appeal court in 2005.

There, a three-judge appeal panel upheld key parts of the law which included the bans on lifestyle ads, messages aimed at young people and the government-mandated health warnings on cigarette packages.

However, the panel struck down other portions including a ban on dissemination of 'scientific' research paid for by tobacco firms and another that prohibited ads that left a 'false or erroneous impression' about smoking's health effects.

The court also ruled that Ottawa was right to ban the display of cigarette brand names at sponsored events, but not the use of the corporate names of the parent companies.

With files from The Canadian Press

Arthur
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Look At Me I'm Aleister Crowley & I'm A Spooky Motherfucker

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I've been watching a fascinating documentary on the (in)famous Aleister Crowley, and there was nothing mystical about this guy.
He reminds me of one of these sixteen year old Goth twats that get themselves into the paranormal, and then get completely fucked over by the consequences.
Here's part 1 of the documentary :

Aleister Crowley - The Other Loch Ness Monster - part 1 :


You can find the rest over here : http://www.youtube.com/user/deadgoose1

Arthur
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For My Sister The Giant C**T

Monday, June 25, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I know that chicks hate the word "cunt", but you're just going to have to deal with it.
My oldest sister has reached a whole new level of being a cunt, and I have nothing else to say to her ... except ... for perhaps .... this :

Simple Plan - Grow Up

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Arthur
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Very Angry Motherfucker On YouTube

Friday, June 22, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I know that getting into a fight online is like obtaining a medal in the special Olympics, but I have a special hate on for one particular prick.
Did I also mention he has a band?
You can check out their non-talent here : Two Man Circle Jerk

He calls himself gerKremerC, and he has some anger issues that I'm not sure he can even deal with.
Here's the first message that he sent me on YouTube :
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From: gerKremerC [videos (3) | favorites (36) | friends (1)]
Sent: June 21, 2007
Subject: Clueless?
Message:
You referred to me as "clueless" after a comment I made on a Diane Sawyer video. May I ask why? It makes no sense. Are you a fucking retard or just a wiseass cock? Just thought I'd ask.....

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I can't believe that this person even learned how to use a computer!
His second message :
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From: gerKremerC [videos (3) | favorites (36) | friends (1)]
Sent: June 22, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Clueless?
Message:
Sorry to hear that you caught the AIDS. Maybe you should think before you fuck 3 guys at once without protection - what do you think, Arthur? (nice name, fucking geek)

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Ah yes the "your parents gave you a goofy name" insult.
Do you think he was any more original on his next message? Nope :
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From: gerKremerC [videos (3) | favorites (36) | friends (1)]
Sent: June 22, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Clueless?
Message:
But it is your fault that you're a cum guzzling bitch.....

Nice grammar, too, fucking idiot.

All I ask is that you please use protection when you fuck your mother. I don't want her getting AIDS and then giving it to me when I bang her. She is a whore, after all.....

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Okay so let's see : I have bad grammar, I fuck my mother, and I have AIDS?
No wonder I can't blog as often as I'd like.
He then sent me this :
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From: gerKremerC [videos (3) | favorites (36) | friends (1)]
Sent: June 22, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Clueless?
Message:
Anyone who reads your blog needs to get a fucking life, not to mention a grammar tutor, you illiterate douche.

Listen, don't mess with me. I will harass you until you fucking cry, worse than you do when those big dicks penetrate your ass, ARTHUR!

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Let's hope this idiot never manages to get his hands on a weapon.
You shouldn't be calling people illiterate when you can't express yourself without the "F-bomb" every second word.
Some people will never learn.
Want to see a video of this ape-thing?

YouTube Idiot Tries To Come Off As Funny :


Arthur
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My New Rules For This Blog

Dear Constant Reader,

I've decided to ho-out less, and go back to what this blog was in the first place.
You're going to see fewer ads, and more actual content on this blog.
There will still be the occasional paid post, but it's going to be obvious which ones those are.
I'm taking back my blog bitches!

Arthur
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I'm Actually Considering

Monday, June 18, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I am actually considering the purchase of disposable underwear, because our caretaker (don't you love when I whine about this dude?) has decided to remove our washing machine again.
He removed it once because he had to put in a new floor, and is removing it again because it has a leak.
The question I have is : What are some of the pro's and con's of using disposable underwear?
Are they only for those with a medical condition perhaps?
I really don't see anything wrong with a product like this, but I would love to hear from my readers.

Arthur
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Yet Another Complaint About My Caretaker

Dear Constant Reader,

My caretaker recently purchased a whole new set of truck accessories that cost him nearly $4,000.
This is a guy who complains that he can't afford to fix a leaky faucet, and yet has no problem blowing money on crap that nobody needs for any other reason than to show off.
This guy isn't fit to own a home, and he also recently purchased another home.
What in the Hell is wrong with the world when someone like this is able to get away with the most outrageous behavior that one could ever imagine?
I really hope that we find a new place to live very soon.

Arthur
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Okay So I Don't

Dear Constant Reader,

I realize that I don't live in a luxury home, but does that mean that I'm not to be afford the same respect as others?
All (and I do mean all) of the problems that this house has can be directly attributed to the neglect of our caretaker, and so why the Hell would people complain to me?
Everybody knows the caretaker, and can easily complain to him.
I can't fix the problems, and so stop bothering me with your problems.
Some days I don't know what to do with people.

Arthur
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And So It Must Be

Friday, June 15, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm going to be going away for a "mental health vacation", and so I won't be posting again until Tuesday or so.
I've been looking after an aging parent, and it's affected my health to the point where I need to start looking after myself.
I don't want to go but I need to go, and so the decision has been made.
Please pray to whatever God or Goddess that you believe in that I will find the peace that I need to carry on.

Arthur
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Okay Clearly I'm Becoming Retarded

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm beginning to worry about myself.
I cannot believe that I actually watched this video, and that I actually enjoyed it :


Arthur
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So I Finally Ho'd Out ...

Monday, June 11, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I finally got myself a MySpace.
How come I feel like I'm at an AA meeting, and saying "My name is Arthur, and I'm an alcoholic"?
Well anyways ...
Check out my MySpace, and add me as a friend if the mood moves you.
Here's the link: Arthur's MySpace

Arthur
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More Evidence That CIBC Is Crooked

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Canadian Imperial Bank Of Commerce is at their sneaky ways again :

from CBC News :
Bank teller takes on CIBC in class-action lawsuit over alleged unpaid overtime
Published: Tuesday, June 5, 2007 | 6:34 PM ET
Canadian Press: TOBI COHEN

TORONTO (CP) - In what's being called a potentially precedent-setting case in Canada, a bank teller has taken on one of the country's biggest financial institutions with a class-action lawsuit that alleges CIBC fails to pay overtime to its customer service staff.

Dara Fresco said Tuesday that she's owed some $50,000 for the two-and-a-half to 15 hours a week of additional work she says she's been required to perform as a teller and personal banker since 1998.

"I've been working for the bank for almost 10 years and I figured enough is enough already. I wanted to get paid for the overtime," Fresco said at a news conference Tuesday, just hours after the lawsuit was filed in Ontario Superior Court.

The $600-million class-action suit is expected to cover an estimated 10,000 current and former non-management, non-unionized CIBC employees across Canada, many of whom are women.

"What is unfair is that my colleagues and I are rarely being paid for the overtime that we are working, and that's just not right," Fresco alleged.

"I decided to seek out legal advice to see, mainly, if this was allowed and to find out what my options were ... because it isn't fair to work and not be paid for your time."

Lawyer Douglas Elliott said such lawsuits are more common in the United States and suggests this one is the "largest unpaid overtime class action in Canadian legal history."

Studies show many employers routinely violate federal labour laws by not paying their staff at least time-and-a-half for working more than eight hours a day or 40 hours a week, Elliot said.

"If successful, it will set an important precedent for those working in other areas where it is a problem."

In a statement issued shortly after the lawsuit was filed, CIBC said it has a "clearly defined" overtime policy that "exceeds legislative requirements."

"CIBC employees are the cornerstone of our strength as a company," the statement reads. "We have comprehensive compensation, benefit and employment programs to ensure we attract, retain and reward our employees and create an environment where they can excel."

The bank said it would review the claim "in detail" before commenting further.

Fresco, who continues to work as head teller at a Toronto CIBC branch, said she expects the road ahead to be rocky but that she felt it was important to come forward.

"This is going to be a very long process and I want to ensure my fellow colleagues and everyone else involved that I'm in it for the long haul," she said, adding she's a good employee and is hopeful there won't be any backlash.

"I have every intention of seeing this through to the end."

The statement of claim alleges CIBC non-management employees are assigned heavy workloads that cannot be completed within standard working hours, and that, at least in Fresco's case, she was told not to claim any of it as overtime.

"The claim alleges this practice is widespread, systemic and that it violates both the class member's individual contracts with the employer as well as federal labour law," Louis Sokolov, a labour lawyer involved in the case, said.

"To date there has been little effort made by the government to enforce this law for the benefit of people like Ms. Fresco."

None of the allegations have been proven in court.

The CIBC has 30 days to file a statement of defence, but could choose to wait until the class-action suit has been certified - which Elliott said could take as a long as a year.

Elliott said there's a team of lawyers across the country working on the case and is urging current and former front line CIBC staff who feel they've been shortchanged to come forward.

© The Canadian Press, 2007

Arthur
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I Would Love Nothing More ...

Dear Constant Reader,

I would love nothing more to invite several women over tonight, get completely drunk, and have the kind of sex that involves swinging from the chandeliers.
But I'm just too exhausted.
My mother has been in the hospital nearly 5 weeks now, and I've been trying to play the good son.
Trying to be good is driving me nuts, and I keep asking myself "when do I get to be bad"? When do I get to do things that would humiliate my Catholic family members?
I'm thinking that maybe this weekend I need to get out, get drunk, get laid, and forget about life for awhile.

Arthur
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Tacky Tacky Tacky

Dear Constant Reader,

My free sample business cards finally arrived, and I can really see why they're free.
These are supposed to represent what I do for a living, and all they do is make it look like I have absolutely nightmarish taste.
Does the company that sent me the samples honestly expect me to humiliate myself by giving clients these little rectangle slices of multi-color vomit?
Not going to happen!

Arthur
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Oh Jeeze

Dear Constant Reader,

One of my favorite online stores just instituted a new electronic check processing system, and it's driving me fucking nuts.
Why would a store want to make purchasing things more difficult?
The item was a health care item for my mother, and she needs it fast. She's got no time to wait for these people to get their fingers out of their butts, and clear my friggen payment.
I'm so getting ready to switch to another store.

Arthur
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So Yeah Well

Dear Constant Reader,

I recently got approved for no exam life insurance, and now I'm wondering when I'll die.
Should I wait till I'm 40?
I already told my family that I'm probably putting a rifle in my mouth when I hit 65, and they're quite content with that.
But the thing I hope is that I'll be able to make sure that the people that I actually care about are taken care of when I do decide to shuffle off the mortal coil.
There aren't a lot of people that I care about, but the ones that I do care about deserve to be treating good because they've been so good to me.

Arthur
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Piloting The Pussy?

Friday, June 01, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I um ... um ... just watch :


Arthur
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Was It The Dryer Or Me?

Dear Constant Reader,

Rest assured that you'll get fucked when you try to take me to Jesus.
I recently participated in laundry room sex with a very good Christian women who has been trying to get me to do the Jesus thing. I did the Jesus thing alright!
We were doing laundry, and I decided to kiss her. Fortune favors the bold right?
She returned the kiss, and our pants came off faster than I think that they've ever come off in my life.
It was fun, but there was a problem: Her orgasm. There's no way to put this delicately so here goes ...
She wrapped herself around my "down there" area, and let loose a sound that I've never heard in my 20 years of knocking boots. It was frightening!
I asked her if she was okay, and her response was "Yeah that was great".
Either I'm really good at getting her off or she's insane. I think I'll go with choice "A".
Yipes!

Arthur
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