Drunken New Years Karaoke Cunt - LIVE!

Monday, December 31, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

These folks need to realize that owning a webcam doesn't make you interesting

New Year's Drunken Karaoke Whore :



Arthur
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Lemme Ask You Something

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

If I were to give you a whole box of Dodge Charger accessories would you be willing to give me a Dodge Charger?
I realize that I wouldn't have any accesories left, but at least I would have a vehicle.
Being without wheels sucks more than anything, and I'm starting to go broke because of it.

Arthur
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Are you a hydroxcut man?

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm making dieting one of my resolutions for 2008, but I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to go about this.
Diet, and excerise?
Or should I just jam a whole shitload of hydroxycut down my throat, and pray that I don't go into some kind of chemical coma?

Arthur
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Pinup Girl Jeanne Carmen Dies

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Another one of those classic stars has left the earth today, and I'm a little sad about the whole affair.
The starlets of today could sure learn a thing or two about class acts like Jeanne Carmen.

IRVINE, Calif. (AP) — Jeanne Carmen, the "little country girl" who became a 1950s pinup and actress and hobnobbed with Frank Sinatra and other stars, has died. She was 77.

Carmen died of lymphoma Thursday at her Orange County home, said her son, Brandon James.

Born on Aug. 4, 1930, in Paragould, Ark., Carmen picked cotton with her family before running away at 13.

"I was just a little country girl that wanted to be a movie star," she told the Orange County Register in 1996.

Carmen was still a teenager when she came to New York and, despite having no show business experience, immediately became a dancer in a Broadway show called "Burlesque," with comic Burt Lahr.

She later went into modeling, gaining a measure of success with a series of cheesecake shots in men's magazines. One gig turned into a new career as a trick golfer. On tour with golfer Jack Redmond, she would perform stunts such as hitting a ball out of a man's mouth.

Carmen claimed that she later hustled golfers with Las Vegas mobster Johnny Roselli.

She came to Hollywood while still in her 20s, where she appeared in low-budget movies with such titles as "Guns Don't Argue" and "The Monster of Piedras Blancas."

Carmen also claimed to have had affairs with Sinatra and other celebrities.

She moved to Orange County in 1978.

In addition to her son, Carmen is survived by daughters Melinda Belli and Kellee Jade Campo, and three grandchildren.

Arthur
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Hey Christmas Fatties

Dear Constant Reader,

It's December 26th, and time to crack out the treadmills
I think I've eaten more this season than I've ever eaten in my entire life, and I feel completely grossed out about the entire thing.
I'd like to hear from my readers what their diet plans are now that the biggest eating season is over.

Arthur
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Norad Santa Tracker

Monday, December 24, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

The Norad Santa Tracker is a great way for you, and your spoiled brats to follow this fictional tubby ass around the world and let your kids know how soon they'll be able to learn the real meaning of Christmas: They'll get gifts for doing nothing.
We all know that Christians made up Jesus' birthday so that they could take away a holiday from the Pagans, and that should be enough proof that Christianity is a giant ass fraud.
If you have to steal the birthday of your savior from the calendar of another religion (so apparently "Thou Shalt Not Steal" is merely a suggestion?) this should be clue number one that you're believing bullshit.
Merry Fucking Christmas.

Arthur
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7 Things That Are Irritating Me This Week

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Everything irritates me, and this is a list of just a few of those things.

2007 Things That Irritate Me :

1. "The Golden Compass" protestors.

Christian idiots claim this film (and the books) are indoctrinating kids in dangerous Atheist beliefs. As opposed to indocrinating them in the belief that there's a magical sky creature who watches them jerk themselves off, and judges them because of it?
Christians need to stop trying to impose their fairy tails on us, and us Atheists will stop imposing the truth on them.

2. The Interlake Regional Health Authority.

Do you people hire your staff from the lowest common denominator, and hope that your clients won't notice that they're surrounded by idiots?
It must really stick in your craw to have someone who will keep calling you on your ridiculous bullshit until your ridiculous bullshit stops.

3. The Internet Stars Are Viral

Yay us!
It says a whole pile about our society that we not only celebrate stupidity but we then celebrate a video that jams all the stupidity into one bite-size chunk.
How long till we start putting intellectuals to death, and burning books?
I wonder how far up his ass the techno viking can jam a cowbell?

4. People blaming Jessica Simpson for jinxing some sports guy who chases other guys around for a ball while rednecks cheer him on.

Nobody cares about your moronic interest in sports, and nobody cares who Jessica Simpson currently has jammed up her cooch.

5. The Writers Guild Of America

The majority of us are underpaid for doing real work, and these latte sucking motherfuckers are worried they won't be able to keep up the payments on their luxury cars.

6. WalMart

What demonic monster unleashed this consumerist beast upon the world?

7. "The Simpson's Movie" commentary tracks.

I didn't buy this DVD to see the movie paused every ten minutes so that the filmmakers could congratulate themselves.

Arthur
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Externalized Anxiety

Monday, December 17, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I was in a computer store the other day, and witnessed a customer having a fit over the purchase of an external hard drive.
He was sweating, cursing and berating the poor salesman and I watched all of this with great amusement.
Clearly this guy was having computer issues that couldn't be dealt with by thinking happy thoughts, and he needed to be heavily medicated.
Why bring this up?
It's my blog bitches.

Arthur
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You Must Consider This

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I've been pondering the concept of another laptop rental situation which (at this point) would be the only way that I could actually afford another laptop.
The problem is that I'm going to end up paying 20 times more for the fucking thing than if I were to save up and get it next year sometimes.
Being a lower-middle-upper-white middle-upper class person sucks the you know what.
What does me being white have to do with anything?

Arthur
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When You Think About Las Vegas ...

Friday, December 14, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

When you think about Las Vegas do you think about the dazzling/sparkle of the place, or do you think about the cheap hotel Las Vegas that is simply there to help you blow your kids college fund?
I'm curious to hear from my readers their opinion on this because I am curious what my readers think all the time.

Arthur
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Whore-ay For Hollywood

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I just got a phone call telling me that I have been selected to be an extra in a movie. Fun!

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Sent by Text Messaging from a mobile device.
Envoyé par messagerie texte d'un appareil mobile.
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To Heck With That

Dear Constant Reader,

My caretaker has decided to make yet another land investment, and I'm hoping that because of this he ends up living out on the goddamn street.
The guy is a loser, a drunk and (frankly) I think he's got them there "gay tastes" for young studs.
I can't prove the last part, but who the hell needs proof when completely trashing someone's already trashy reputation?

Arthur
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I've Been Lookin At 'Em

Dear Constant Reader,

I've been pricing coffee makers, and I've decided that I'm actually better off sticking with instant coffee for now.
I just don't see the point in buying something that makes an entire pot of the fucking stuff when I really only drink about three cups a day.
If I did invest in one of these fucking things I'd probably end up wasting more coffee than I actually ended up drinking.

Arthur
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Drug Rehab - Again

Dear Constant Reader,

My brother is back (how many times is this now?) in drug rehab, and I'm kinda hoping that he swallows his fucking tongue, and dies.
That's probably being cruel, but I really don't give a rats ass at this point.
How the hell are we supposed to feel sorry for someone that's this goddamn pathetic.

Arthur
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Bathroom Smathroom

Dear Constant Reader,

So I spent the morning moving, and pricing bathroom vanities, and I wanted nothing more than to disappear into the staff washroom and tug one out.
I hate working where I need to work, and wish that a hurricane would blow the fucking place to the ground.
I can dream can't I?

Arthur
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Tech Talk

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I recently purchased a new cell phone, and some great great ipod batteries that absolutely did the trick ... for a little while.
I am so rarely separated from my little gadgets that I often end up going through more batteries than I thought it was ever possible to go through in one's life, and I'm sure my local WalMart loves me because of it.
The problem is that I should know better than to keep buying batteries at WalMart because it's pretty clear that their merchandise is pretty darned ghetto.
Fuck WalMart, and fuck their cheap ass batteries.

Arthur
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Cold and Flu Myths

Dear Constant Reader,

It's not often that I enjoy learning things, but I found this interesting:

Cold and Flu Myths
By Rich Maloof for MSN Health & Fitness


Colds are not caused by going outside without a coat.

Sorry, Mom. You meant well, but the only way to catch a cold or flu is by picking up a virus. Going out into the cold without a jacket or a hat, or with wet hair, does nothing to facilitate transmission. It’s true, though, that we are more prone in the winter. Viruses are more easily shared when people are clustered together indoors.

Flu vaccines do not cause flu.

The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention are emphatic that you cannot get the flu from a flu shot. The vaccine is made from killed or “inactivated” viruses, which can’t be transmitted. However, you may experience a few side effects which mimic the disease such as aches and a low-grade fever.

Feed a cold, starve a fever? Nah. Feed ’em both.

This bit of armchair advice is probably repeated as often as it is jumbled. But you wouldn’t want to starve either virus: At higher temperatures the body produces more interferon, a protein that helps prevent virus reproduction. “The body is like a furnace, and to create heat you need calories,” says Dr. George Wootan, a family physician and author of Take Care of Your Child’s Health. “When people have chills it is because they don’t have enough calories to bring up the heat normally …by feeding them, they will have enough calories to raise the temperature, increase the interferon, and kill the bugs.” Wootan will sometimes recommend to patients without a temperature that they promote their own fever by getting into a hot tub or putting on warm clothes and getting under the covers (drink lots of water, too, if you’re going to try this method).

“[Some] might say that you should starve a fever because you don’t want the fever to go higher,” he concludes, “but the body isn’t dumb and won’t do damage that it can’t control.”

Viruses survive on surfaces.

You don’t have to wait to be sneezed on to catch a cold or flu—you can pick the virus up right from a counter top, keyboard, telephone or other surface. Rhinoviruses, the family of germs responsible for most colds, have been shown to survive on a surface (or “fomite,” in medical terms) for several hours or even days. “The concentration of virus attenuates; that is, the potency is less and less as time goes on. But you need very few viral particles to trigger an infection,” explains Dr. Richard Rosenfeld, professor and chairman of otolaryngology at Long Island College Hospital in Brooklyn, N.Y. “Even if there’s just a little left and you happen to touch that doorknob or coffee cup, the virus can then survive on your hands for quite a long time. Then all it takes is a little wipe or your nose or eyes and whatever little bit of virus on there will go to town very quickly. It’s a very efficient multiplying process.”

Colds that linger or worsen may indicate sinusitis.

Barring an underlying condition or immune deficiency, most people can fight off a cold inside of 10 days. When symptoms such as congestion, headache and runny nose drag on, it may indicate a bacterial infection of the sinuses, or sinusitis. “Duration of a cold beyond 10 days is highly suggestive of bacterial infection,” says Rosenfeld, who was the lead author of a new guideline for treating adult sinusitis, which addresses the importance of distinguishing a cold from sinusitis. “The other feature suggesting sinusitis is the pattern of ‘double worsening.’ That’s when someone starts to feel better and then all of a sudden they get hit again, and they’re getting worse. Now bacterial infection has superimposed itself on the viral illness. When you have prolonged illness or the double-worsening pattern, it’s reasonable to consider antibiotics.”

Vitamin C is ineffective for preventing or treating cold or flu.

A review of 30 studies on vitamin C that was updated in May 2007 put to rest a few dozen years’ of overconfidence in orange juice. “Vitamin C cannot effectively prevent or cure common colds or flu in the majority of people,” says Sari Greaves, registered dietician with New York-Presbyterian Hospital. Greaves allows that some benefit has been shown for extreme athletes exercising in extreme cold, but “since vitamin C is only known to offer a biological benefit in certain cases and in a restricted number of people, for the average adult, it’s not worth it to supplement.”

It’s true: we can put a man on the moon but we can’t cure the common cold.

The problem is that there are hundreds of varieties, or serotypes, of rhinovirus in addition to other viruses that cause the common cold. Of those hundreds, just a few are causing widespread infection at any point in time. The serotypes change so rapidly that they’re impossible to keep up with. A vaccine would have to be specific to the current serotype, and by the time the virus was identified and an antidote developed, the active serotype would have changed. On the plus side, we’ve been to the moon six times.

Arthur
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"Cloverfield" Marketing Rant From Some Cunt

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

This cunt ( ‘Cloverfield’ fans are Paramount’s slave-labor marketing bitches ) is whinily whining about the way "Cloverfield" is being marketed, and I have a few words for her royal cuntiness.

What she says:

Cloverfield is back. Remember the trailer for an unnamed movie everyone was so excited about a few months back, the one before Transformers about a mysterious monster attacking New York and knocking the head off the Statue of Liberty? There’s a second trailer now: it debuted before Beowulf over the Thanksgiving weekend and immediately afterward started showing up on YouTube in an impossible-to-watch cell-phone-cam version.


My response:
"Cloverfield" is back? Did it actually ever leave? Are you so hip that hot trends flit about you, vanish and return based on your interest, or lack thereof?

What she says:
I watched it anyway, and found myself getting a little cheesed off. Not about the movie itself, but about how Paramount is marketing this. I can’t go into a press screening without having my bag rifled and my body wanded in search of cameras and other recording devices -- when I upgraded my cell phone recently, I made a point of getting one without a camera in it so I wouldn’t have to check it with the minimum-wage “security” guards who regularly harass we critics and our guests at screenings. It’s not like those pristine DVDs and downloads of new movies are coming from critics sneaking their cameraphones into press screenings, but we get subjected to this anyway.


My response:
"Minimum wage security guards"? Are you a snob much? Here's a thought: You're not that important, and you can leave your cell phone at home to go to a screening. Do you really think you're so popular that you must have your phone with you at all times you self-centered sow?

What she says:
But Cloverfield makes it clear, I think, that Paramount wanted geeks to camcord that new trailer, wanted it to end up on YouTube. Perhaps no one in Paramount’s marketing department realized that the first teaser trailer would be such a viral hit on the Web this summer, but they had to know the second one would be. This is the first movie for which “piracy” is a planned part of the marketing.


My response:
Yes, because the folks at movie studios are just wild about piracy. Do you actually think before you type you bile filled witch? Are you not aware that Paramount was sending out cease and desist orders to people who were posting images and videos? They didn't come after me, but I know a lot of people that they did crack down on.
You need to stop trying to come off as super cool, and do some fucking homework before you attempt to sound like you know what you're talking about.

What she says:
You can now watch that new trailer (as well as the teaser) in crisp, clear, “official” versions at Apple.com, and it’s even more obvious that it was not primarily intended to be seen in theaters but in a format you can freeze and rewind and rewatch. Lots of intriguing stuff slips by a mere frames. And, of course, you don’t have to bother with analyzing it yourself: All the Cloverfield nerds have done it for you. At CloverfieldNews.com, there’s an ongoing discussion about what each and every shadowy image and garbled sound might be. The sprawling Cloverfield fan community has even ferreted out a connection between the movie and Heroes.


My response:
I'm assuming you didn't get any dick in high school, and so you're now taking it out on your readers?
Oh, and it's kind of hard to ferret things out that someone of even your limited intellect could see in plain sight.

What she says:
Some folks, like my fellow Film.com contributor Eric D. Snider, are tired of all the coyness on the part of Cloverfield producer JJ Abrams and all the literal gameplaying required to figure out what the damn movie is about. I figure the gameplaying isn’t meant for us grownups but for kids with tons of time on their hands. Who else could be able to post something like this: “For the last few weeks, we have been devoting all of our time to the myspace accounts of the characters.” Seriously? All your time? To a movie that hasn’t even opened yet, and might turn out to suck. (That site, Cloverfield Project, hasn’t been updated since August, so perhaps someone got a life.)

I wonder if all these folks realize that they’ve become unpaid marketing managers for a multibillion-dollar corporation.


My response:
What's to figure out? It's a movie about a giant monster that attacks New York City. There I've figured it out. It was pretty obvious from the first trailer, but you and Eric D. Snider must have been too busy sipping latte's and dry humping in your overpriced apartment to notice.
No, I have no clue that I've become an unpaid marketing manager for Paramount because I'm not. I'm a fan who's intrigued by something that could be wonderful.
I'd suggest that you go back to writing your idiotic screenplay, scribbling in your inane blog and leave certain subjects to people who know more than you do. That really won't leave you much to talk about, but nobody's really interested in what you have to say anyhow.

Arthur
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They Won't Stop Sending Me Shit

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Let their be ballpoints!
I keep getting personalized pens, and other useless shit from some American company that thinks they are actually going to get my business.
This is the real problem with filling out forms online, and putting your address in when you're asked to.

Arthur
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I Assume Since It's Snowing

Dear Constant Reader,

I assume that since it's snowing there will be more than a few net denzians will be jetting off to their Orlando vacation rental to get away from this nightmarish weather.
I completely cannot handle the snow, and would love nothing more than to look outside and see green grass.

Arthur
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Up Your Ass "Project Cloverfield" & Blogspot Blog Bashers

Monday, November 26, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

This bitch was irritating a long time ago, and it's only got worse over time.
Check out this little jab at people like me from her barely interesting website:

Note: This site has been debunked and is now recorded as a fake.
Thanks to Q30, question30 for notifying this to me via E-mail!
Well lady’s and gentleman this website: http://tagruato.blogspot.com/ is claiming to be the main resistance against Tagruato and a supporter of the “hacking” of www.tagruato.jp

Reasons why this should / could be fake? ITS A BLOGSPOT SITE! Otherwise, it seems somewhat unpersonal. It does have that personal “hate this” look.

Feel free to discuss the amusing “comments” and the likes.

This cunt isn't the only one who's blogspot snobbery knows no bounds. Check out this from some roleplaying/circle jerk site:

Regarding this: Exclusive: Interview With "Cloverfield" Director Matt Reeves

fishy
Boot

Joined: 21 Jul 2007
Posts: 39
I think that interview was meant as a joke or parody, because it doesn't make much sense. A director would never say that in an interview, and a busy director would never take time off to be interviewed by a blogspot blog. Maybe a mainstream media network, but not a blog.


Are these people serious?
The fact that they had to have a fucking discussion as to whether my interviews were real shows you how idiotic they are, and that their opinions are so completely irrelevant.
You think a blogspot blogger can't start some shit?
I won't even comment on that the fact that I was the only website not sent a cease and desist order regarding the removal of "Cloverfield" set photos despite the folks at Paramount Pictures visiting here. Ooops ... I just did.

Arthur
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www.tagruato.jp Is Back, and a 'Heroes" thought.

Dear Constant Reader,

The only thing this site tells us is ... well ... nothing.
The "Cloverfield" poster gives us more information than this site, but it's up again.

www.tagruato.jp

So the "thing" is (I'm gathering) a monster that was disturbed by deep-sea drilling. Has anyone checked to see if Al Gore has anything to do with this movie?

And another thing ...
Someone asked me why I'm not talking about the Slusho/"Heroes" connection, and the answer to that question is simple: "Heroes" is a terrible show that nobody with a brain would give a shit about.
Does that clear up my thoughts on the subject?
Oh, and I'm sorry if I offended the mentally challenged.

Arthur
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What's your life worth?

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I received another letter today that promised me an amazing life insurance quote that would save me, and my family from the eve of destruction.
I tore up the letter, and realized that I don't care about what happens to my family after I drop dead.
They don't care about me, and I'm not going to spend my afterlife caring about them.
Cruel aren't I?

Arthur
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I feel so alien today

Dear Constant Reader,

Sometimes blogging from the Outer Banks of the world (small-town Canada) can leave one wondering if anyone is actually paying attention to anything that I'm saying.
I know that folks are reading, but nobody ever seems to want to leave a comment.
What makes people want to (or not want to) comment on a blog post?
Are you people going to make me take my pants off on camera? That can so be arranged.

Arthur
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A "Cloverfield" Article From Movie Marketing Madness

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

This isn't so much news as it is a big "Well duh".

Cloverfield official website launched

Arthur
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A Peek Of The "Cloverfield" ... Thing

Dear Constant Reader,

Well it looks like some video geeks managed to give us a peek-see at the thing that's going to be ravaging Rob, and his main dudes in New York.

The Monster? :



What have we learned?
The monster has legs!
Wow!
This is BREAKING news.
Oh ... wait ... it's not.

Arthur
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Yet Another PayPal/Ebay Phishing Scam

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

PayPal and Ebay aren't scamming people, but another phisher is phishily phishing for fish with this latest gem :

Dispute Transaction
From: PayPal (support@PayPal.Inc.com)
You may not know this sender. Mark as safe | Mark as unsafe
Sent:November 16, 2007 11:47:09 PM
Reply-to:support@PayPal.Inc.com


To:

Dear PayPal Member,


This email confirms that you have sent an eBay payment of $147.85 USD to
achad13@yahoo.com for an eBay item.



-----------------------------------
Payment Details
-----------------------------------


Amount: $147.85 USD

Transaction ID: 2LC956793J776333Y

Subject: Digimax 130





Note:
If you haven't authorized this charge ,click the link below to dispute transaction
and get full refund

Dispute transaction (Encrypted Link )

*SSL connection:
PayPal automatically encrypts your confidential information
in transit from your computer to ours using the Secure
Sockets Layer protocol (SSL) with an encryption key length
of 128-bits (the highest level commercially available)

-----------------------------------
Item Information
-----------------------------------


eBay User ID: scratchandgnaw2


----------------------------------------------------------------
Edward Harrell's UNCONFIRMED Address
----------------------------------------------------------------

Edward Harrell
211 David St.
Springtown, TX 76082
United States

Important Note: Edward Harrell has provided an Unconfirmed Address. If
you are planning on shipping items to Edward Harrell, please check the
Transaction Details page of this payment to find out whether you will
be covered by the PayPal Seller Protection Policy.




----------------------------------------------------------------
This payment was sent using your bank account.

By using your bank account to send money, you just:

- Paid easily and securely

- Sent money faster than writing and mailing paper checks
- Paid instantly -- your purchase won't show up on bills at the end of
the month.

Thanks for using your bank account!



----------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for using PayPal!
The PayPal Team
PayPal Email ID PP118


A quick Google search for scratchandgnaw2 will be a very quick eye opener (if you didn't already figure it out from the friggen email) that this is a nasty scam guaranteed to bilk you out of your money.

Here's what PayPal has to say to it's users if they want to make sure that the emails they are receiving are from a trusted source :

Email Security

* Look for a PayPal Greeting: PayPal will never send an email with the greeting "Dear PayPal User" or "Dear PayPal Member." Real PayPal emails will address you by your first and last name or the business name associated with your PayPal account. If you believe you have received a fraudulent email, please forward the entire email—including the header information—to spoof@paypal.com. We investigate every spoof reported. Please note that the automatic response you get from us may not address you by name.
* Don't share personal information via email: We will never ask you to enter your password or financial information in an email or send such information in an email. You should only share information about your account once you have logged in to https://www.paypal.com/.
* Don't download attachments: PayPal will never send you an attachment or software update to install on your computer.

More info from PayPal can be found here :
Security Tips and Fraud Prevention

Arthur
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Some Neat New "Cloverfield" Pictures

Monday, November 19, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Here's an assload of "Cloverfield" pictures that may shed some more light on this mystery movie :

slideshow image

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slideshow image


Arthur
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"Cloverfield" 2nd Trailer In High Def

Dear Constant Reader,

So an even better trailer for "Cloverfield" is now available, and sweaty women are hot.
Nothing new to see here ... really. Nothing.

High Def 2nd "Cloverfield" Trailer



Arthur
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Random Weird Questions

Dear Constant Reader,

Just some meme inspired ramblings from me.

Q: What is your least favorite day of the week and why?

A: Monday. I hate waking up on Monday.

Q: What's the best way to end the day?

A: Masturbating yourself to sleep.

Q: Which animal would you have left out of the ark?

A: Snakes. I hate the fucking things.

Arthur
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Another UFO Sighting

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Knowing that something is going to happen, and setting up a camera to capture it has been the highlight of my day.
I've had many UFO experiences in my life (including one I may tell you all about someday), and tonight I managed to capture one of the many crafts that have been a part of my paranormal life.

Here's the photo of what I captured tonight:


Arthur
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Cloverfield: How It All Went Down

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Here's the best quality version of the new trailer for "Cloverfield", and some of my thoughts below it :



1. So this movie is filmed entirely on a video camera? Hear that? It's the Blair Witch making JJ Abrams stand in the corner.

2. This trailer gives us nothing new beyond the title of this film.

3. The characters in this film could turn out to be the most irritating group of people to listen to since Michael Bay sodomized audiences with "Transformers".

4. A horse drawn carriage really isn't all that creepy.

5. People don't abandon their video cameras during a catastrophic attack?

Arthur
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Christmas Pishmas

Dear Constant Reader,

Our neighbors have begun to dig out their christmas tree ornaments, and bastardize their front windows with garish displays of Christmas bullshit.
Isn't this a tad early to be putting up a friggen Christmas tree?
I loathe this time of year, and can't wait for news of the first Christmas tree fire.
Oh what fun it is to ride in an ambulance with third degree burns!

Arthur
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I don't know what things mean

Friday, November 16, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm not quite sure what a plasma mount is, but I'm reading an internet article on it.
Why am I reading an article about something that I couldn't hit an interest in by swinging a dead cat?
I'm not sure, but I think today's the day that I'm going to lounge around the house and educate myself on completely useless things that I give a rat's ass about.


Arthur
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Let's Get Physical

Dear Constant Reader,

I need to exercise more, and it seems the expense of one of those fancy home gyms is entirely out of my league.
What does this mean for me?
I'm guessing that it means I'll have to get my exercise at my new job, and combine that with power walking through thigh-high snow.
How much fun am I having?



Arthur
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