An Album Review - Elton John "The Captain And The Kid"

Friday, September 29, 2006

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Elton and Bernie Taupin have murdered my ability to enjoy an Elton John album.
I just want to say (before I do my song by song review of this giant heap of shit) that you're not going to enjoy this review if you happen to be a "he can do no wrong" kind of fan.
Here we go ...
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1. Postcards From Richard Nixon
I realize this album is supposed to be an autobiographical look at the career of Elton and Bernie but could they possibly have beaten this dead reference from the 70's to death harder? This song (like most of the others) is one you forget five seconds after you have to sit through it.

2. Just Like Noah's Ark
Is that a fucking organ I hear? Now I love organ music as much as the next heterosexual (except for that one time) man but this is unbearable.
Wait is that now a dog I hear barking? A cowbell reference? Jesus! The lyrics are quite good but Elton and his producer tangle them in horror.

3. Wouldn't Have You Any Other Way
A song about New Yor ... zzzzz. Oh wait what huh sorry? Thank you for re-treading material that you guys have done far better before. I love New York too but I've had my fill.

4. Tinderbox
A great song! That's right I said it. I could've done without the repetitious lyrics but I'll take what I can get with this giant heap of album turd.
Extra: Click on the title of the song to listen to it.

5. And The House Fell Down
Hehe! A fun a little song. Wait ... you mean I like two songs in a row? Yeah okay blow me.
This could very well fit into a Disney-esque cartoon about a water buffalo with a coke and whore habit.
Extra: Click on the title of the song to listen to it.

6. Blues Never Fade Away
A touching tribute to bullshit. I love sentimental ass leakage don't you?

7. The Bridge
They probably should've pushed the producer/co-producer of this album from said bridge but I've changed my mind about this song.
The piano glitters and Elton's voice is strong in this song about making life's tougher decisions.
Extra: Click on the title of the song to listen to it.

8. I Must Have Lost It On The Wind
Sorry Elton but you've lost it with this album.

9. Old '67
Boy do I remember the 60's myself as well ... wait ... no I don't. Most of the folks who were around then don't either though.

10. The Captain And The Kid
Opens up with an instrumental piece from Elton's 1975 hit "Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy" (from the album of the same name) then collapses into melancholy.
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This album gets a grand 3 out of 10 stars from me.
Sorry Reg.

Arthur
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UPDATED - As It Happens: School Hostage Situation

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Update:
The standoff is over and the gunman and one of the girls is dead. Sad.
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Just been made aware that 2 high school girls are being held hostage at a high school in Colorado.
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More Information:
(CNN)
Two schools were evacuated after a gunman claiming to have a bomb opened fire and took hostages at a high school near Bailey, Colorado, officials said.

Several shots were fired at the school, and the gunman is inside, Jefferson County sheriff's spokeswoman Jacki Kelley said.

The gunman was holding two hostages in a second-floor classroom, said Kelley. Six hostages were initially taken, but four of them were released, she said.

The gunman told police he had a bomb, said Lance Clem, spokesman for the Colorado Public Safety Department.

Kelley said she did not know if the hostages were students, teachers or both. However, both are female, she said.

She had no information on injuries, but said a bomb squad, SWAT team and agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives had been dispatched to the scene.

Negotiations with the gunman were ongoing but "sporadic," Kelley said.

The Park County Sheriff's office would not provide further details, but said it is dealing with a hostage situation. Bailey is located in Park County, and Jefferson County authorities are assisting in the investigation.

The lack of information from police and the school system was concerning parents who have children at the school, according to the Denver Post.

"We've had no phone calls from the district. We don't know what's going on," said Pat Bramelette, who has two children, one attending the high school, one in middle school.

His wife, Susan, told the newspaper, "The most I got was off the bottom of the TV screen."

Sally Impson told the Denver Post that she hopes her 17-year-old son, Andrew, will find a way to contact her, although his cell phone doesn't work in the school and the road to the school is shut down.

"I'm so shook," she said. "It's just scary. You don't know what's going on. You hear shots are fired. I hope to God that everything is OK."

The 450 students at Platte Canyon High School and the 340 youngsters at the adjacent Fitzsimmons Middle School were evacuated, officials said.

The students were evacuated to a safe place about 12:10 p.m. (2:10 p.m. ET), the Park County School District superintendent's office said.

Bailey is about 45 miles southwest of Denver. It also lies about 40 miles southwest of Littleton, Colorado, which is where two students killed 13 people at Columbine High School in 1999.

Arthur
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Starbucks Ads

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I am a Starbucks whore.
I absolutely love their products and would seriously suck a dick for any one of their frosty coffee beverages.
I became even more of a fan when I saw an entire series of ads for a product called DoubleShot.
God bless commercials that are more entertaining than television shows.
Below are these amazingly fun ads.

The Latest Ad:


Their Glen Ad:


Their Hank Ad:


Arthur
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Bush Ratings Rebound: Approval at 44%, Highest in 2006

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Amid falling gas prices and a two-week drive to highlight his administration's efforts to fight terrorism, President Bush's approval rating has risen to 44% in a new USA TODAY/Gallup Poll. That's his highest rating in a year.
In other news: 44% of the population of the US has been in a coma for the past six years according to recent poll showing that Bush's approval rating has risen.

read more | digg story

Arthur
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Give us this day our daily Charlie ...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Here's a bright gospel message to start your day ...


Arthur
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SNL Take Notes ...

Friday, September 15, 2006

Who needs SNL when we have classics like this from MadTV ...



Arthur
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God Bless "The Daily Show" - "We're Safe"

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Daily Show: We are Safe! 9/11/06

After a two week hiatus, it's nice to see the Daily Show come back in full force.
Jon Stewart and Senior WH Correspondent John Oliver examine President Bush's methods of coping with the grief of 9/11 and the lessons he's learned from Hurricane Katrina.

Arthur
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Happy Jesus Day!

Sunday, September 10, 2006



Arthur
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Evangelist Drowns Trying to Walk on Water

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus' miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa."He told churchgoers he'd had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus," an eyewitness told the Glasgow Daily Record.

One point for Atheism.
Two points for stupid motherfuckers.
What won't these fucking Christians do for attention?

read more | digg story

Arthur
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Update Part Deux: Playing Tag - I'm "IT"

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Update:
Hey hey Jilbean accepted the tag challenge.
Check it out!
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Hey hey Brandon Perez accepted the tag challenge.
Check it out!
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No not the child-eating clown from the brilliant Stephen King novel but I'm "it" in a sick and twisted game from childhood. The only difference is I'm playing (mostly) with strangers.
After finding out I was "tagged" by Tom I decided to play.
I've never participated in this kind of thing but this actually could be fun.

Anyway, this is a Five Random Words game, where I have to list the words (given to me by the person who tagged me) and the first thing that I thought of. Oh boy ...

Word #1 - “suck”: Connie and Lisa (Connie is way better at this)

Word #2 - “connect”: When I manage to communicate with a spirit in a deeper than surface way.

Word #3 - “spin”: A trick that Lisa taught me involving a candle and a box of tic-tacs.

Word #4 - “pop”: Virgins (are you seeing a theme here?)

Word #5 - “tail”: A sweet piece of ass.

Following Tom's lead, I’ve done the same thing and sent this to five others. Five Words for Five People. If these people want to play along, I’ll point the links to their posts, once they do.

Those I've Chosen To Tag:
o Angel
o Ming
o Jilbean
o Amanda Unboomed
o Brandon Perez

… and your words are: radio, enchanted, possible, junk, network

Arthur
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Reporter grabs 6,000 volt fence he's reporting on

Friday, September 01, 2006

And the dumb-ass of the day award goes to ...



Does this dumb-ass motherfucker work for Fox?

Arthur
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