"Grease : You're The One That I Want"

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Okay let's watch this show together shall we?
Oh look it's a British judge, a female judge and a chubby judge. We've never seen that before! Damn this looks like it's going to be original!
Who decided it was a good idea to bastardize this classic broadway show and movie?
Some Of The Contestants :

1. Ashley: "Hi I'm a dumb, blonde cocktail waitress who can't sing ... pick me!". So which one of the judges will she go down on to win? On to the next round!

2. Robin: "Hi I'm a very scary old woman in a wig ... just like Olivia Newton John!". So we'll assume she's not going onto the next round.

3. Kaitlin: "I'm very plain, have no self esteem, my teeth are nubby and I think a Sandy with bad acne is so 2007!".

4. Faun: What the hell kind of name is Faun? She would so rock as a sleazy pole dancer though! Not going through to the next round!

5. Ricky: My gaydar just blew up and took out everyone around me. Not going through to the next round!

6. Max: Pick a key bitch! The fact that he's going through to the next round tells us the judges are deaf.

7. Faun: Again?! They gave the pole dancer in my dreams a second chance? I don't remember there being prostitutes in "Grease"! Hear that? The sound of Stockard Channing blowing her brains out. Faun blows her second chance as well.

8. Patricia: Wait is this "Grease - You're The One That I Want" or "The Biggest Loser"? Through to the next round? I'm assuming the judges didn't want to be sat on.

9. Vince: An anorexic Danny is so forward thinking! Not going through to the next round.

10. Kara: Another cocktail waitress? She not only got through to the next round but she's guaranteed to be under one of the judges by next week.

11. Sunshine: Your butt is bigger than your personality and your hair combined. They gave her a pass to next week as well. This is gonna be one messed up version of "Grease"!

12. Phil: You give me the creeps too Phil ... and not in a good way. At least you made a member of the Bush family laugh and that's nearly impossible to do without murdering a baby. He got kicked to the creepy curb he crawled off of to get to the show.

13. Deja: The other folks at the crackhouse won't even notice she's gone if she gets picked to go to the next round ... and she did!

14. Jason: Stick the sob story and show us you have talent! Apparently not having talent isn't a crutch on this show.

15. Some random blonde: I had to make toilet and so I missed this woman's name. I didn't miss the fact that she actually had talent. Neither did the judges and they let her through to the next round.

16. Chad: You're a hunka-hunka burning idiot with no talent. But that didn't stop the judges from giving you a free pass to next week.

Another show that shows that not having talent isn't always a bad thing.

Suffice it to say that I won't be tuning in next week due to the fact that I enjoy people who have the ability to entertain me.
I'm not even going to comment on the dancing portion of this amature night because some tragedies are best left not talked about.

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Jules said...

Oh HAHAHAHAHA! This is great! I've got it recording on the DVR and I will watch it in full later when I can fast forward through the commercials :) You are damn funny!