Lord Have Mercy - Another Christian Attacks

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I entered into a fascinating conversation with someone that reads this blog and remembered my Skype name.
Apparently my calling Christians idiots upset this person enough for them to send me a message.
Here's the log :
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Them: Is this Arthur
Me: Yep
Them: I realy think you are offensive to me when calling me an idiot
Me: Pardon?
Them: Jesus loves you
Me: Even when I have premarital sex with myself or another person?

A 15 minute pause while they went to get some holy water.

Then: Jesus loves everyone
Me: Wow Jesus sounds super awesome does he do Bar Mitvah's?

No response for a few minutes ...

Them: Jesus wasn't Jewish

What version of the bible does this dude read?

Me: He wasn't?
Them: No and that is racist
Me: What's racist?
Them: You
Me: How am I racist?
Them: Talking about Christians saying "idiot"

This person clearly can't follow a conversation but okay!

Me: I'm not the only one who thinks that
Them: You will go to Hell if there is no repenting
Me: Will that be a one way trip? Or do I have the choice to come back as some kind of cat?

Another few minutes pass without response

Them: Jesus died for you
Me: Boy was he barking up the wrong tree
Them: What
Me: Have you ever considered the benefits of Scientology? Xenu threw aliens into a volcano for our sins and my auditor says mine was the easiet brain to wash.
Them: I don't understand what you're talking
Me: Quelle suprise
Them: Quelle
Me: Nevermind
Them: What's Quelleee ?!
Me: You're making Xenu angry
Them: What's that crazy!!!!!
Me; And you wouldn't like him when he's angry ... look what he did to Tom Cruise
Them: Your mind is all in confusion
Me: I like pudding

Nearly 30 minutes later ...

Them: Back
Me: YAY!
Them: May I add you
Me: Add me to what exactly?
Them: My message
Me: Your what?
Them: PROGRAM!
Me: Did you lose your brain pills?
Them: That's racist
Me: Lady you're nuts
Them: I'm not lady
Me: Are you sure about that cause last time I attended church there were people practically suffocating in the closet
Them: Why you call me that
Me: Call you what?
Them: You're basted going to hell!
Me: I'm basted? ... that sounds kinky
Them: Im man
Me: Alright
Them: Don't you think Jesus is crying when you don't like him
Me: Who said anything about not liking Jesus? ... anybody who likes to party like that dude ain't all bad
Them: You say bad things
Me: Dink tit boob
Them: What?
Me: You told me to say bad things
Them: Your mind is crazy and y uor blog is huist
Me: Ummm?
Them: SHIT FOR SIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Is that like "Dialing For Dollars"?
Them: What !!!!!
Me: You sound awfully upset are you sure you wouldn't like a nap?
Them: I'm going to be in Heaven and you are going to suffeR!!!!!!!!! LLOLOLOLLLOL
Me: You need to get the hospital to re-think your day pass
Them: JESUS DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I imagine that had something to do with being nailed to a piece of plywood for several hours ... if he was Jesus why didn't he just take himself down off the cross?
Them: He DIDDDDEED IDIOT!
Me: He did what now? How come you started this conversation sane and got crazy? Is this even the same person?
Them: HELL!
Me: You're really cutting into my masturbation time can't we continue this tomorrow?
Them: NO crazy! JESUS DIED JESUS DIED JESUS DIDE JESUD DIED JESUS DIED JEDUS DIED JEDUS DIED JESUD DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: And it sounds like you're still going through the grieving process
Them: I'm leaving
Me: Mmkay ... peace be with you

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Weird] [Religious] [Skype] [Conversation]
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Custom Poker Chips

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for a cool way to jazz up your next home poker game then you need to check out Custom Poker Chips at e-pokerchips.com.
These are the guys that I get my poker chips from because they are the best quality you're going to find anywhere. And the price is excellent!
Add a little snap to your poker game today with some wickedly cool Custom Poker Chips that will last forever and won't break the bank.
Not only is shopping from their site easy, convenient and quick but it's the only place you'll ever want to shop for your poker supplies from now on.

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This post is brought you to by e-pokerchips.com
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Great] [Custom] [Poker] [Chips]
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New Commenting Rules For The Blog

Dear Constant Reader,

I've decideded to turn on commenting only for people who are registered (have blogger/blogspot id's) because of having too many anonymous commenters frothing their stupidity at me.
It's going to stay this way from now on so please (if you wish to comment) make sure you have a blogger/blogspot id before even attempt responding to something that I write.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [New] [Blog] [Commenting] [Rules]
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Another Anonymous Commenter Comes Off As Stupid

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I found this comment sitting on the post below this one :
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Could Their Agenda Be More Obvious?":

Could your agenda be more obvious? Hmmmm. After further investigation, I came to the conclusion that you're hiding something. Why, you ask? Because you left out this important information: "Transmit or facilitate distribution of Content that is harmful, abusive, racially or ethnically offensive, vulgar, sexually explicit, defamatory, infringing, invasive of personal privacy or publicity rights, or in a reasonable person's view, objectionable. Hate speech is not tolerated." What you described DID break their rules and this little tidbit of knowledge will hold up in ANY court. I find it HILARIOUS that you'd even threaten to use your lawyer to re-instate an INTERNET MESSAGE BOARD account. Grow up and move on.

Posted by Anonymous to We Were The Cool Kids at 1/31/2007 7:07 AM
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Dear Anonymous,

There was nothng even close to Hate Speech in what I was saying.
I'll assume you're a Christian so that automatically makes you an idiot. It's for this reason that I'll forgive you for making yourself sound stupid.
Me and this Christian we're having a debate about Christianity.
A debate on religion is not a hate crime in any sense.
It should also be noted that I never once used any vulgarity or personal insults toward this Christian assclown.
Another thing that you seem to not realize is that Pogo is not an Internet Message Board. It's a game site. Do your homework before you tell someone to grow up.
Do you work for Pogo perhaps? If that's the case then talk to my lawyer and stay away from my blog.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Some] [People] [Are] [Idiots]
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Could Their Agenda Be More Obvious?

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I got this message from the ... well let us call them the "thought Nazi's" who work at Electronic Arts :
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Your Electronic Arts Pogo account has been suspended for violating the Terms of Service for Electronic Arts Online.
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I had gotten myself into an argument with one of these Christians who decided that the rest of the lobby had a right to listen to them pontificate.
I attempted to educate this person (without the use of profanity or anything else one might get moist over) that their belief was a perfect example of infantile thinking and boom!
This God-lovin' freak of nature said "I'm reporting you" and BOOM!
This person was allowed to go on and on about their belief in a made-up Jesus but I can't comment without retribution?
Nonsense.
The folks at EA have 24 hours to reinstate my account before hearing from my attorney.
I understand that Christians are severely mentally handicapped and must be treated different than the rest of us but this is going overboard.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Electronic Arts] [Really] [Love] [Jesus]
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Free IT Training

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for a great oppurtunity to further your IT education then you should look into this Free CCNA Training.
This is one of the best ways for you to step into the future and give your computer knowledge a big boost.
It's free so what do you have to lose?
Sign up today for a FREE account and instant access to their premium training which includes many IT training videos and practice exam.
The future is unfolding in front of you and it may just be time for you to catch up.
Simply follow the links contained in this post for more information and to get started today.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Free] [IT] [Training] [Courses]
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10 Songs That Mean Something To Me

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I was listening to a lot of music and I began to contemplate the songs that truly mean the most to me and why.
Here's my list (with videos for the songs) of the top ten songs that could very well be the soundtrack to my life.
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Ten Songs That Mean Something To Me :

1. "My Father's Eyes" - by Eric Clapton


2. "Levon" by Elton John


3. "Come Down In Time" by Elton John


4. "Ticking" by Elton John


5. "Joey" by Concrete Blonde


6. "The One" by Elton John


7. "God Only Knows" - by The Beach Boys


8. "The Living Years" - by Mike & The Mechanics


9. "High School Nights" by Dave Edmunds

Add to My Profile | More Videos

10. "Closing Time" - by Leonard Cohen


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Soundtrack] [To] [My] [Life]
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They Called Again

Dear Constant Reader,

How many numbers do these people have?
This is incredible.
I happen to have been listening to the "Grease" soundtrack when they called so I put the phone down and cranked the stereo.
I'm not sure how long through Danny and Sandy belting out "You're The One That I Want" they hang up but eventually they did.
These people need to realize that I'm completely the wrong person to fuss with.
I'm going to be picking up an airhorn on Monday (where does one even get an airhorn?) to give the guy a good blast the next time they call.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Everybody] [Loves] [Show] [Tunes]
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Seeking Mister Fong - My 200th Post!

Dear Constant Reader,

A collection agency has called our house 16 times this week attempting to contact a T. Fong. Huh?
Apparently Mr. Fong owes a company $1425.00.
I attempted to tell them that I'm not the mysterious Mr. Fong but they don't believe me.
I recorded both calls that came today and present the transcripts where I finally lost it with these bastards :
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Collector: We know this is you and we're going to keep ca-
Me: Asshole you keep calling here and I'll block your number and I'll keep blocking every ****ing number you ****sucker.
Collector: Why are you yelling at me?
Me: Do you understand that if you keep calling here I'm going to block the numbers?
Collector: Go right ahead [CLICK]
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Nobody is going to try and harrass me and simply get away with it.
I called back :
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Collector: Is this Mr. Fong?
Me: No you mother****** this is not ****ing Mr. Fong do you understand that if you keep ****ing calling here I'll keep ****ing blocking your ****ing number ... yes or no ... and if you hang up on me I'm going to keep ****ing calling back until you acknowledge that your ****ing number is going to be ****ing blocked
Collector: I understand
Me: Good [CLICK]
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I then called the phone company and blocked whatever number of the week they are using to call me from

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Desperately] [Seeking] [Mister] [Fong]
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Great Residential Broadband Deal

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're a resident of the UK and looking to give your internet connection an upgrade then Eclipse Internet has got a great cheap broadband deal for you.
Starting at only £14.99 you can start surfing the net faster than you ever have before.
Not only is the price right but you can also get one month free and a free wireless router.
Why wouldn't you want to jumpstart your surfing experience with an amazing deal like this?
Don't let yourself miss out on the chance to jump online with a high speed connection, superb customer service and a really great price.
Follow the link contained within this post to get started today.

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This post is brought you to by Eclipse Internet
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Great] [UK] [Broadband] [Deal]
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"Your blog is really bad."

Dear Constant Reader,

A user over at IMDB recently had this to say about this blog :
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Re: I am a producer...
by Patent_Clerk 8 hours ago (Fri Jan 19 2007 12:21:16)
Ignore this User | Report Abuse Reply
mjp36,

Your blog is really bad.

I mean, your writing skills are just horrible. I tried to give you a chance, but
I would recommend you just take that link out of your sig and give up. I am not saying this because you're Canadian either. I quite like Canada and Canadians.
It's just that your writing gives me douche chills.
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Pretty nice huh?
I did a little research on this blog and writing expert and came up with a few of these gems :
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Board: Justin Timberlake
View: thread | flat | inline | nest
Subject Posted by Date
I Don't Like Him
by Patent_Clerk (Fri Jan 12 2007 12:18:35)
Ignore this User | Report Abuse Reply

He's getting Scarlett J? What a jerk!
Anyway I don't like this guy's music or whatever, but I gotta say he was pretty good in Black Snake Moan. It should change his 'status' as an actor.

Re: The biggest BS to ever be posted on IMDb!
by Patent_Clerk (Mon Dec 4 2006 12:54:12)
Ignore this User | Report Abuse Reply
troythegreat
-----
hey, living with your mom is fine, no rent free food, perfect for saving your paycheck to make your own indy movie !!!!!!!! and my mom got me a sweet pair of boxers with glowing beer mugs, CHEERS FOR MOMS!!!!!
if you resort to insulting the last poster you have nothing good to say and should shut up ----
yes but it's fun.
did you read the thread by the way? he's way off base and needs to be put in his place. cause he's a disgrace. so give me some breathing space.
i like mace.
and it wasn't really an insult. it was satire.
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And this guy is questioning my writing skills?
I don't think that I'm going to be losing sleep over this sad individual.
That last example makes entirely no sense to anyone and yet this guy feels superior in some way?
Oh Lord.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [IMDB] [Is] [Idiot] [Jammed]
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Oh what rough hell to get glasses!

Dear Constant Reader,

My appointment to get new glasses has been pushed from today to February 1st.
This is also the day that I need to drive to my out-of-town doctor's appointment for blood work.
This makes the third time that I've been forced to reschedule my appointment and I'm starting to get freaking headaches because I've been without glasses for far longer than anyone should.
When did the optometry business start offering third world service?
I wish that I could find both a better physician and a better optometrist but I fell out of my mother in a country that offers mediocre health care.
And all this running around for glasses is going to cost me a whopping $78.00 for the exam and God know's what for the bloody glasses.
American's complain that us Canadian's get our health care free and that it's far better at times. Not all of it is free and not all of it is easy to come by.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I] [Feel] [Like] [Stevie Wonder]
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Paula Abdul Wasted On TV

Dear Constant Reader,

Today must be video day on my blog right?
As someone who hates "American Idol" and Paula Abdul equally this really gave me a huge smile.
Paula needs to get some help fast before she ruins her non-existent career.
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Paula Drunk/Stoned On Live Television :

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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Paula Abdul] [Drunk] [On] [Live TV]
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Tom Hanks as James Bond

Dear Constant Reader,

As a fan of Tom Hanks and James Bond I really appreciate how much work was put into this movie trailer mash-up.
The folks who created this know how to tickle my giggle button.
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"The Next James Bond" from ChocolateCakeCity.com :

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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Tom Hanks] [As] [James Bond] [007]
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5,051 visitors ... yay!

Dear Constant Reader,

Well I done broke the 5000 reader mark for this blog and while that may not seem like a lot I'm super-psyched.
It may not look like I put a lot of work into this blog (or it might I don't know!) and there are blogs that get more than 5000 readers per day but I'm so happy.
My goal (and it's a small one I think) is to hit 10,000 visitors by the first anniversary of the blog. The first anniversary would be July 12th, 2007 and I don't think that hoping to reach the 10,000 mark for visitors is that much of a stretch is it?
I would like to thank the readers and those who've been linking to the blog and here's looking forward to even more readers in the new year!
Yippie!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [People] [Are] [Reading] [Me]
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Free Cell Phones?!

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for a way to snatch yourself up free cell phones then I have found the best site for all your cell phone needs.
These guys have you covered with every possible cellular brand and price range that you could ever want. And it's all in one site!
There is absolutely no need to go anywhere else if you're looking for a phone for yourself or for a gift for someone.
By following the links contained within this post you will begin a cell phone shopping experience like you've never had before.
Pay them a visit and gab yourself one of their great free cell phones today.

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This post is brought you to by wirefly.com
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Great] [Free] [Cellular] [Phones]
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God Help Us Horror Fans

Dear Constant Reader,

This morning I watched "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" and I'm pretty sure that Michael Bay needs to be stopped.

Michael Bay has produced (or is currently producing) the following horror remakes :
o The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
o The Amityville Horror (2005)
o The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
o The Hitcher (2007)
o The Birds (2009) (announced)
o Untitled Friday the 13th Sequel (2007) (in production)

Not only has Michael Bay decided to rape the movies us horror fans adore but he doesn't seem to give a shit about anything but the money.
This man (whom I'm quite sure is clinically retarded) is not a horror fan but merely a money grubbing pig.
We know that Hollywood is completely void of original ideas but for Chrissake leave the horror genre alone. Each time one of these idiot studios trots out one of these horror remakes they get progressively worse and I'm so sick of it.
It's already bad enough that Rob Zombie is remaking "Halloween".
Mister Bay would you kindly go back to making really bad action movies and leave the movies many of us have grown up on alone. And could you possibly drag Mister Zombie away from the genre as well?
What the hell is wrong with you two?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Michael Bay] [Is] [The] [Devil]
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A cool new way to rent DVD's

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're a movie fan (and who isn't?!) then you must check this totally cool new way to rent DVD's.
DVDPlay is the creator and manufacturer of this wickedly awesome automated and remotely managed DVD rental machine.
All you need is a credit card and you can rent a DVD from one of these cool kiosks!
To rent a movie from the DVDPlay kiosk select the movie you wish to view, press the select button and pay with any major credit card.
I hate having to stroll through the video store (those godawful sea of racks!) and love the idea that I can simply walk up to a vendor, pick my movie, put in a credit card and instantly take home a movie to enjoy.
When you're out and about this is the quickest way to Rent DVD movies without wasting your day hunting through a video store.
If you're looking for a DVDPlay kiosk nearest you it's as simple as following the link contained within this post, putting in your address and voila.
You can not only find the locations of these amazing kiosks but you can also find out about all their very cool promotions for customers.
The cost? Only $1.49 for the first day and 99 cents for each day afterwards.
You need to visit this site today and check out where you can see these kiosks in action.
I can honestly say that I have never been more excited by a product before and I know that we're going to hear great things about DVDPlay and their cool DVD rental kiosks.
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The DVDPlay Kiosk :

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This post is brought you to by DVDPlay
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [DVD] [Rentals] [Made] [Easy]
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What I Did Today

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I spent the day with two of my most favorite obsessions.
Sitting around the house, watching movies and listening to NPR broadcast archives may make me sound like an old man but I can't think of anything else to do on these lazy days of winter.
Canada (at least some parts) tend to get extremely cold and miserable so you'll do anything to forget that outside the world is frozen.
I shouldn't complain since I've lived in Canada all my life but Christ these winter's are violent.
I hear that the US is getting some pretty frigid weather but don't complain to me you folks down there.
I invite you to come down to Canada and check out what winter really means.
There are plenty of American's who would never survive one day in this kind of environment.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Big] [Bad] [Canuck] [Winter]
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GasSavers.Org

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're someone who is interested in getting more bang for your fuel buck and looking for some great discussion on the fuel economy movement then you should head on over to GasSavers.org
Not only is there some lively discussion on gas mileage but there is a ton of great information on how you can improve the fuel use in your vehicle.
Pay them a visit today.

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This post is brought to you by GasSavers.org
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Gas] [Fuel] [Environment] [News]
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10 tips for Atheists

Dear Constant Reader,

Despite my belief in Bigfoot, aliens and ghosts I don't believe in God. The difference between these four things is that there is proof that the first three exist and no proof of the latter.
I do believe that there is a positive pool of energy in the world and a negative pool of energy in the world and that whatever pool you contribute to is the pool you're given from but that's as far as I'll go.
Common sense and a good education should be enough to tell you that all religion is based on lies, misinformation and fear.
I don't really want to hear what your made-up Jesus did for you because if I want to hear insane babble I'll visit a mental hospital ... or my sisters.

10 tips for Atheists

• Don't fear making fun of Christians because God is not there to protect them.


• Do not get into a religious debate with those who believe in God because in their mind you are wrong and God loves them. Common sense and evidence won't change their mind.


• Christians may become violent (i.e. abortion doctor killings) if you push too hard. They are not only not that bright but they are living on a very thin line of sanity.


• Most Christians will always try to save you. Apparently God is holding a contest to see who can get the most conversions. If a Christian begins trying to minister fake a seizure or other reasonable illness. They may try and lay hands on you but someone will probably call an ambulance to get you away from them. A good kick in the crotch may also have the desired effect.


• Read the bible. Nothing will affirm your non-belief faster than reading this ridiculous book. The contradictions and silly stories contained within will clarify everything you need to know to be a happy non-believer.


• Phone your Christian friends when they're not home and leave a message telling them that you've found Jesus. When they call back tell them that you made a mistake and that it was actually a homeless person rooting through your garbage for food.


• Before you Christian friend comes for a visit hang a crucifix upside down on the wall. The longer it takes them to notice and fix the problem the better chance you have of saving them from themselves. The real insane Christians will not only resolve the matter quickly but will leave quickly as well. Good!


• Name your child "Diablo", "Loki", "Lucifer", etc and invite your Christian friend to something called a "mother earth tree spirit baptism" for the child. Nothing will get the more unstable Christians out of your life faster. Just make sure that they can't get near your kids. Christians love getting them when they're young.


• Sometimes these people will come to your door in groups of two to preach. Answering the door dressed in crotchless panties and a cape made from a Snoopy blanket will pretty much guarantee that they won't be back for at least another four to six weeks. It must be a Snoopy blanket. I cannot stress this enough.


• Preach to your Christian buddies bout the joy, love and peace that Satan has brought you to your life. Throw some black candles around your living room to add to the effect.

Either these tips will cleanse your life of Christians or help those Christian friends see the error of their sinful ways.
Good luck true believer!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Lists] [Thoughts] [Beliefs] [Ideas]
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A little note to my guy readers

Dear Constant Reader,

It's time for me to give you the talk that my father never gave to me so listen.
Put on a condom!
If you're having sex (and all my readers are right?) then you had better make sure you've got your little buddy wrapped snug as bug in a rug.
There are too many diseases out there (some of them deadly) to risk not practicing safe sex.
I've heard all of the excuses about why guys choose to not use or buy condoms and I don't buy any of it. If you're too embarrassed to go the store and pick yourself up a box then you should consider following the link contained within this post and getting your condoms discreetly. Sex should be fun and not a liability.
The brand that I use is the Durex Natural Feeling (Non-Lubricated) Condoms but regardless of what type of condoms you prefer you can find it by visiting the site linked within this post.
There is absolutely no excuse for you to endanger yourself or your partner with unnecessary risks.
Some guys find that condoms take away from the enjoyment of sex but there are brands out there that are sensitive enough and can often enhance your stimulation.
So don't be a punk and wrap up your junk okay?

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This post is brought to you by undercovercondoms.com
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Wrap] [Up] [Your] [Buddy]
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Uh ... Ow

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm in a boatload of pain today because a lens popped from my glasses and fell into my eye. How much fun is that?
I went to the hospital and everything is peachy keen except I can't see all that well. Well duh right?
Anyhow I'm supposed to just let it heal on it's own and keep it clean but being partially blind really stinks up my (lack of) a love life.
On top of that I have to get new glasses. Even more fun! My seveal hundred dollar a day drug habit is gonna be blown way outta whack because of the cost of glasses but a guy's gotta see right?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Broken] [Glasses] [Really] [Suck]
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Car and Home Insurance Site

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for great rates on home insurance or car insurance and you live in the UK then Insure 121 is the site for all your needs.
Not only do they cover home and car insurance but they also cover : travel insurance, pet insurance AND caravan insurance.
This is really your one-stop site for getting the best deal on insurance for you, your loved ones and your important property.
We can often spend a lot of time surfing and calling around in order to find what we're looking for in insurance but this site gives you everything in a site that's both great looking and easy to navigate. There's no hunting through mountains of links and frustration when you visit Insure 121.
Pay them a visit today and you will not be sorry that you did.

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This post is brought you by insure121.com
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Fantastic] [UK] [Insurance] [Website]
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A little music for Monday

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're as big a fan of 10,000 Maniacs (with Natalie Merchant not with Mary Ramsey) then here's a big old video blast from the past from their MTV Unplugged special.
This is such a powerful song and I've been listening to this song a lot this week.
I swear Natalie Merchant is really an angel in disguise. She can do things with her voice that her replacement only wishes that she could.
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10,000 Maniacs - "What's The Matter Here?"

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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Some] [Music] [For] [Monday]
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Valentine Cards on Jokeroo.com

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're wondering where to get some great Valentine Cards to send to that very special someone then you need to head on over here : Valentine Cards
The folks at Jokeroo.com have one of the best selections of cards for any occasion that you could possibly want.
If you're looking for a great selection of amazingly good looking cards then use any of the links contained within this post now.
You will not be disappointed at their large selection of high quality cards that will bring a smile to your nearest and dearest.

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This post is brought to you by Jokeroo.com
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Great] [Valentines] [Day] [Cards]
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"Grease : You're The One That I Want"

Dear Constant Reader,

Okay let's watch this show together shall we?
Oh look it's a British judge, a female judge and a chubby judge. We've never seen that before! Damn this looks like it's going to be original!
Who decided it was a good idea to bastardize this classic broadway show and movie?
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Some Of The Contestants :

1. Ashley: "Hi I'm a dumb, blonde cocktail waitress who can't sing ... pick me!". So which one of the judges will she go down on to win? On to the next round!

2. Robin: "Hi I'm a very scary old woman in a wig ... just like Olivia Newton John!". So we'll assume she's not going onto the next round.

3. Kaitlin: "I'm very plain, have no self esteem, my teeth are nubby and I think a Sandy with bad acne is so 2007!".

4. Faun: What the hell kind of name is Faun? She would so rock as a sleazy pole dancer though! Not going through to the next round!

5. Ricky: My gaydar just blew up and took out everyone around me. Not going through to the next round!

6. Max: Pick a key bitch! The fact that he's going through to the next round tells us the judges are deaf.

7. Faun: Again?! They gave the pole dancer in my dreams a second chance? I don't remember there being prostitutes in "Grease"! Hear that? The sound of Stockard Channing blowing her brains out. Faun blows her second chance as well.

8. Patricia: Wait is this "Grease - You're The One That I Want" or "The Biggest Loser"? Through to the next round? I'm assuming the judges didn't want to be sat on.

9. Vince: An anorexic Danny is so forward thinking! Not going through to the next round.

10. Kara: Another cocktail waitress? She not only got through to the next round but she's guaranteed to be under one of the judges by next week.

11. Sunshine: Your butt is bigger than your personality and your hair combined. They gave her a pass to next week as well. This is gonna be one messed up version of "Grease"!

12. Phil: You give me the creeps too Phil ... and not in a good way. At least you made a member of the Bush family laugh and that's nearly impossible to do without murdering a baby. He got kicked to the creepy curb he crawled off of to get to the show.

13. Deja: The other folks at the crackhouse won't even notice she's gone if she gets picked to go to the next round ... and she did!

14. Jason: Stick the sob story and show us you have talent! Apparently not having talent isn't a crutch on this show.

15. Some random blonde: I had to make toilet and so I missed this woman's name. I didn't miss the fact that she actually had talent. Neither did the judges and they let her through to the next round.

16. Chad: You're a hunka-hunka burning idiot with no talent. But that didn't stop the judges from giving you a free pass to next week.

Another show that shows that not having talent isn't always a bad thing.

Suffice it to say that I won't be tuning in next week due to the fact that I enjoy people who have the ability to entertain me.
I'm not even going to comment on the dancing portion of this amature night because some tragedies are best left not talked about.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Grease] [Why] [Do] [This]
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Yipes! Donald Trump is a pig

Dear Constant Reader,

Donald Trump needs to let this Rosie O'Donnell thing go because he's not bright enough to win a war with Rosie.
Donald Trump is a misogynistic, sleazy, lying and depraved pig.
His remarks about Rosie show what kinda guy he really is.
The guy may be rich but he's a complete loser.
Note To Donald : You're not that important so get over yourself.
You have filed bankruptcy in the past, you've cheated on your spouses, you use women like toilet paper and the only person that you care about is yourself.
What's with you lying about why Rosie made the comments she did? She wasn't attacking this beauty pageant bimbo she was attacking your reaction to her behavior.
You're the liar.
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Donald Trump Acts Like A Pig Part 1


Donald Trump Acts Like A Pig Part 2


Donald Trump Acts Like A Pig Part 3


Donald Trump Acts Like A Pig Part 4

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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Donald Trump] [Is] [A] [Pig]
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I Hadn't Seen This Before

Dear Constant Reader,

We all know how Michael Richard's went bananas on the stage of a comedy club and started spewing racial hatred and cursing but how many of us have actually seen it?
Well today I found the actual video and I'm freakin' speechless.
I was never a fan of this guy's but this pretty much puts the topping on me ever having to worry about being a fan of anything he does in the future.
If you haven't seen the video then this is my post-Christmas gift to you.
I'm warning you right now that this is extremely offensive. Don't watch this and then complain "hey you never told me it was this bad!".
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Michael Richards Goes Bonkers


His Apology On Letterman

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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [When] [Bad] [Comedians] [Crack]
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Part II : When Idiots Blog & Comment

Dear Constant Reader,

I couldn't resist dipping over to Housewife's blog again and oh ... my ... God.
Where is the kid's father?
Check this :
Eve's smile gets us a free coffee
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Tuesday, January 5, 2007
We dropped Adam off at school this morning and then Eve and I dashed into the local Hippie Dippie Organic Coffee house for a latte.
In line in front of us was Jere. He's quite taken by Eve and her ensemble which included 3 shirts, a headband (in a really weird spot on her head), jeans, shoes and (of course) mismatched socks. Anyhow I said, "Eve, wait here with Jere while I go run and get cash from the car." I didn't want to use a credit card for a $4 cup of coffee.
Jere insisted on buying my coffee. You know why? Cuz Eve's cute, that's why. My car was right in front of the door of the shop but to be fair it was cold out, it had dipped a little below 70.
Great lesson my daughter just learned.
Now I owe a cup of coffee to a bazillionaire.
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Where the hell should I start with this?
First off she acts as if she knows this actor but based on the way she signs off that's not likely at all. So despite him being a celebrity he's still a stranger.
This very scary housewife left her child with a stranger.
Way to go!
Secondly she thinks her daughter is so adorable that that's why he bought them coffee? I'm assuming that this actually happened and wasn't simply a figment of this fruitcakes imagination.
This women clearly needs to re-attach her reality button and ... yeah I suppose I should stop writing about this crazy lady.
But I'm fascinated with angry psychotics.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Crazy] [Psycho] [Scary] [Blogger]
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Pardon Me?

Dear Constant Reader,

Tonight I had a problem in bed. Do I have your attention? Good!
I had sex with a woman that I met at a friends house (okay it was at the friends house) and she told me two things : a:) "it wasn't long enough" and b:) it wasn't long enough.
What am I talking about you ask?
Here's a rough break down of the conversation :

Me: That was great
Her: Yeah but not long enough
Me: Pardon?
Her: Your !#$% is kind of small and we only went for 10 minutes
Me: Are you serious?
Her: Yeah I'm sorry

What the heck?!
For starters I've only ever been able to keep things going for between 10 - 20 minutes at any given moment. I'm quite okay with admitting that because it's just how I am. But did she need to point that out? Yipes!
Secondly I've never had a woman tell me I'm too small. Ever. Not even as a joke and I've even been told that my abilities in bed are my one and only talent.
So what was up with this lady?
Question for my lady readers : Would you ever tell your husband or boyfriend either of these things?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I] [Feel] [So] [Small]
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justsayhi.com

Dear Constant Reader,

One of the great things about dating online is the avoidance of the uncomfortable silence and awkwardness that can come with meeting someone for the first time in a real life setting.
I've found an awesome Free Dating site that makes the process of finding your true love far easier than the other sites out there.
justsayhi.com has a quick sign-up process (no running through hoops here!) and you can immediately get started on looking for love in the hottest new dating site to hit the net.

This post is brought to you by


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Cool] [New] [Dating] [Site]
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When Idiots Blog & Comment

Dear Constant Reader,

I may not worry much about grammar or punctuation but at least I try and make my blog an enjoyable little experience for all who read.
What really gets me though is when idiots take issue with something that I say.
I read their comment and then when I read their blog it's clear that they have no clue what the hell they're talking about on any subject.
Some yutz who runs the babble-mouthed blog found here : http://angrymom.blogspot.com/ took exception with me promoting a product that could keep them and their loved ones safe. What the hell kind of thing is that to take exception to? My God lady.
Let's start this trashing of her with her comment :
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Housewife has left a new comment on your post "Home Security & Hidden Cameras":

I've got a great idea. How about raising your own kids!!!!

Posted by Housewife to We Were The Cool Kids at 1/04/2007 2:52 PM
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If this lunatic has kids I feel very sorry for them.
From the snippets (which you'll see shortly) on her blog it's clear that she's an unstable fruitcake.

Let's take a peek at some nuggets of crazy which you can find on her slightly ranty blog. My response to her inane dribble follows each of her "thoughts".
Oh and I removed most of her profanity. I may have a dirty mouth but she takes the cake.
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Thursday, January 4, 2007
Oooops. I forgot to mention that the guy next door is married and his wife is an evil BLEEP BLEEP so she'll ignore the fact that her husband is ruining yet another life every time he ______'s. I started to type the words but I seriously would have had a heart attack trying to imagine what these guys do.

My response :
Why is it this psychos business what her neighbors are doing? If I were this looney tunes neighbor I would be scared that she would go "Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction"" on me.
You're the crazy BLEEP BLEEP not the neighbor man's wife.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007
In front of me in line was a child who appeared to be 4 or 5 but was as broad as I am, her face was disfigured by fat and her little arms came out of her body at an awkward angle because of all of the fat hanging off her tiny body. Her mother, too, was morbidly obese and this is a major BLEEP up.

My response :
Once again : Mind your own business lady. If the appearance of a so-called "fat" person upsets you that much then you need therapy.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007
6. If you kid doesn't know how to swim, shoot a basket, kick a goal, hold a baseball bat or a tennis racquet you have failed them. You need to either teach them how or hire someone who can. A sedentary life is a short one.

My response :
Yeah psycho forcing your kids to play sports will solve all major problems in their life you basket case.
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Thankfully this insane woman's blog doesn't have much action on it and it appears that there's a slightly schizophrenic thing going on with it (and her) as well. Her readers better get it while they can.
She's clearly about three steps from offing her entire family with an ax.
God I hope she has a comment for me now.
If you REALLY want a quick way to her blog just check out the comments area on the post below this one.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Crazy] [Psycho] [Scary] [Blogger]
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Home Security & Hidden Cameras

Dear Constant Reader,

If you follow the news then I'm sure you've seen all the horror stories about babysitters mistreating the children that they are supposed to be caring for. It's only then (or so it seems) that other parents begin to clue in that not every babysitter is Mary Poppins and that it's time to take steps to protect their own children.
Why would parents even be waiting to take these protective steps? It's beyond me but hey it's not my children or my home or my possessions. These things are yours and the choice to either protect or not protect what is precious to you is yours.
We have used a Hidden Camera in our own home to catch our neighbors dumping garbage on our lawn. While that might not be the same as the safety of loved ones and property the fact is that the hidden camera helped us to deal with an issue that was making us batty.
One option that you might want to look into is the Teddy Bear Nanny Cam. This cute look Teddy Bear could very well be the thing that brings you the piece of mind that you need. It may be the thing that will allow you to leave your home and know that this adorable stuffed animal is doing more than just being adorable.



Adorable isn't he?
Adorable but deadly to crime.
Are you waiting for something bad to happen before you make the responisble choice?

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This post is brought to you by brickhousesecurity.com
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Great] [Home] [Security] [Tools]
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Okay so I'm in a Second Life trashing mood today

Dear Constant Reader,

I swear that I nearly messed myself after seeing this video from http://trashtalk.illclan.com :
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Second Life Vacation
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And I found a great blog that does a lot of coverage on the monster that is Second Life.
Check it out here : Second Life - Kotaku.
Some of it is in praise of this virtual stupidity but a lot of it takes a few good shots at the nonsense of this digital crap-fest.


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Second Life] [Is] [The] [Antichrist]
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Mia Farrow Gets Creepy

Dear Constant Reader,

We all know that anyone who enjoys Second Life has a very large stench of creepiness about them but things over there just keep getting weirder.
Mia Farrow is going to be appearing on Second Life on January 9th.
Apparently she heard that she can buy children there for far less money than she can in real life. Which makes me wonder why Madonna or Angelina haven't been there first.
I spotted this bit of news on http://www.3pointd.com/ :
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Mia Farrow Rescheduled in Second Life
Posted Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007, at 11:13 am Eastern by Mark Wallace
Tags: events, kids, Politics, Second Life, voice, war

As readers may recall, Mia Farrow’s appearance in the virtual world of Second Life to discuss the crisis in Darfur, originally slated for last month, had to be rescheduled due to a fire in the office building that houses Lichtenstein Creative Media, which is helping produce the event. The new date is Tuesday, 9 January, at 11am SL time (2pm Eastern). The event will also feature John Heffernan, who serves as Director of the Genocide Prevention Initiative for the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s Committee on Conscience, the sponsor of the program; award-winning photojournalist Ron Haviv; and Ronan Farrow, who has served as a UNICEF Spokesperson for Youth in Sudan, as a representative of the Genocide Intervention Network, and has written extensively about the situation in Darfur. One interesting aspect of the event is that while it take place in The Infinite Mind sim in Second Life, streaming audio will also be available at Camp Darfur, and at Global Kids, on the Second Life Teen Grid. (Is this the first time an event has been audio simulcast into the Teen Grid?) Visit the Lichtenstein site for more information.
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Okay Mia we know that you no longer have a career since Woody Allen came to his senses but yikes!
One can only hope that her little Second Life tea party gets stormed by people who are just as aggrivated by this numbnuts as I am because this "celebrities showing up on Second Life" thing is nonsense.
Oh ... um ... I just referred to Mia as a celebrity. My bad.
I'm all for shining lights on important issues in the world but it always comes off as a little sleazy to me when there's a famous or pseudo-famous person involved.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Mia Farrow] [Coming] [To] [Second Life]
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Oh My God - Another Weird Search

Dear Constant Reader,

So today I'm going through the search terms again to see what folks are looking up on Google that brings them to my blog.
Oh My God.
Somebody actually took a moment out of their day to search for the following on Google :
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partners "just like" and give time ass please dog "first class and no class"
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My only response to this can be : WTF.
What on God's green earth could they have possibly been attempting to find? Do I even really want the answer to that?
Whatever this person was looking for I hope (I think?) that they found it on my blog.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [People] [Really] [Worry] [Me]
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A Recent Anonymous Commenter

Dear Constant Reader,

Recently I had this comment left on the post about the Saddam execution video. :
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "The FULL Video Of Saddam Being Whacked":

Um no f#gg#t, he kissed his forehead like any normal person would at a funeral.

Posted by Anonymous to We Were The Cool Kids at 12/31/2006 10:39 PM
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First off I want to say how wonderful it is that this person decided to post a comment anonymously so that the world doesn't find out who they are and how stupid they are.
God forbid that anyone find out what kind of psycho uses the term that they used to insult me.
Why is it that we're in 2007 and that term is still being used to insult people and who's to blame for this?
I'll assume that this person (who was commenting on what I said about Michael Jackson's behavior at the funeral of James Brown) is either 12 years old or just generally angry at the world.
Anybody who comments on my blog should know that any comment that disagrees with something that I say will automatically be deleted but I felt the need to point out this particular idiot.
Some people need to grow up because eventually they are going to use the wrong term to the wrong person and get themselves in more trouble than they ever expected.
I'm going to continue deleting ignorant comments (or one's that I just don't like the attitude of) because this is my blog.
If these people want to trash someone or name-call then go sign up for your own blog and leave me the hell alone.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Anonymous] [Commenters] [Are] [Idiots]
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Bull Riders Rock!

Dear Constant Reader,

Having attended many rodeos over the years I can tell you how much fun it is to watch someone master the monster that is the bull.
There is nothing more powerful than seeing a beast tamed by man in such a powerful way. These guys who mount these animals aren't just playing at being cowboys ... they are cowboys.
One of the BIG events is the professional bull riders finals which (sadly) I've only attended once. But that one time was the most fun I've ever had in my life.
The seats were right up in all the action where I could absorb all the sights and sounds of man and animal coming together in the wildest competition I've ever seen.
If you're a bull riding fan like me then you need to get your hands on some PBR Finals tickets for the next event.
I'm hoping to attend the Las Vegas event and I hope to see you there too!
I would never ride a bull but I look darn good in a cowboy hat!
How to get tickets?
Simply click right here : PBR Finals tickets
The next competition takes place January 10th, 2007 at the Denver Coliseum. I (sadly yet again) won't be able to attend till the October 26th event in Las Vegas. It's being held at the wickedly awesome Mandalay Bay Events Center.
So what are you waiting for?
Get your PBR Finals tickets now!

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This post is brought you by teamonetickets.com
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Bull Riders] [Are] [Freakin] [Awesome]
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Michael Riggs will always be the champ bull rider in my mind!