Modern Love

Dear Constant Reader,

Today we're going to talk about the things that make love work.
Why waste your time with a Bed & Breakfast when you can cuddle up in your home with cookies, and a box of condoms?
There's nothing I love more than doing stuff with someone till stuff shoots out, and eating Oreo cookies.
I don't care what women want, and the woman that I'm with doesn't care what I want either. We just wanna have the kind of sex that snaps the legs off the bed, and then go back to our respective homes.
Isn't that romantic? It is to us.

Arthur
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