Extreme Makeover: Home Edition's Whiney Gimme Gimme Families

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm really tired of these whining, pathetic families who are tossed free houses like fat kids are tossed candy at Halloween.
Here's some of the reasons these families have been given homes, and why I think those reasons are bullshit. :

Reason #1 :

"My husband died in the war"
Oh really? Well thousands of others have died in the war, and do they get houses too? Nope. Shove it tubby housewife, and find a motor home.

Reason #2 :

"Our son is a vegetable"
Then shove him in a special home for vegetables, and thank your stars that not all your kids are vegetables with parents like you.

Reason #3 :

"Our house has cooties"
Learn to use a broom? Stop watching Oprah, get up off your ass, and clean the house.

Reason #4 :

"I adopted 478 kids"
Did someone at the adoption agency not see that you didn't have enough room in your current home for a shitload of kids?
Ever thought of just drowning a couple of the brats in a tub, and then blaming one of the others?

Reason #5 :

"Our house burned down"
So did my sisters, and it killed all of their pets. Did they get a free house? No.

You families need to grow up, and stop pretending like your problems are somehow worse than the problems of the rest of us.

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