Ever Get The Urge?

Dear Constant Reader,

Have you ever had the urge to beat someone senseless because they give you a tumor when they're in your presence?
My caretaker came to pick up his Callaway golf clubs, and I had to resist the urge to cram them individually up his butt.
Why does he store his golf clubs here? He stores everything else here!
He's been told not to do this, but he doesn't seem to care.
The best I can hope for is that he gets himself in trouble for using our yard as a dumping ground.

Arthur
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