My Name Is Arthur, And I'm A Keyword Whore

Dear Constant Reader,

Tits, and vagina?
Sex isn't all that they're about.
Just ask Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Jordan Capri.
We already know that the honeymoon in Hollywood is over for Lindsey Lohan don't we?
Don't listen to your girl, woman and lady.
You're a sexy man, and hot stud!
Don't let some slut fuck your ass!
Don't let some bitch, nigger, chink, gook, cracker or beaner tell you any different!
We already know that only an asshole would eat his own shit, right?
The feces may have hit the fan, but death isn't inevitable.
You can murder, maim, kill and rape the hurt away if you like.
That won't make the pain go away.
What kind of man allows himself to be some cartoon?
Anime may be your solution, but Naruto ain't gonna feed your kids!
You could also kill yourself by drinking a bottle of bleach.
Or continue sitting around, watching dragonball, but DBZ isn't going to pay the bills.
Ask eyeshield12 if you don't believe me!

I can't do this anymore.
Must re-energize.
Peace niggers!
Or do you prefer the term "nig"?
You can call a faggot a fag, but they won't like it.
They prefer "gay", "lesbian".
Stop watching porn because you already know that pornography can't save your soul.
Neither can a video game!
Hate?
Love?
Do these things come from an XBox 360?
A PS3 perhaps?
A PSX?
I doubt it.
A Playstation is the only way that Sony can control you.
Microsoft uses the XBox.
Or Nintendo uses a WII.
Leave Ebay a note that you'll no longer be their bitch.
Adobe Final Cut can't slice away your bitterness!
Have an apple, and premiere that new you that's just waiting to get out.
Don't watch the news!
Bush might be a Republican, but he's not wrestling in oil.

XXX Girls:


Most watched video ever viewed and responded on YouTube:


Matt 5:28-29 (NIV) [Jesus:] “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

Boys left with injured tongues after sticking them to flagpole
Sunday, January 27, 2008 | 11:10 AM

CHESTERTON, IN -- Two fourth-grade boys mimicking a scene from the movie "A Christmas Story" wound up with their tongues stuck to a frozen flagpole.
Gavin Dempsey and James Alexander were serving on flag duty at Jackson Elementary School Friday morning, with the job of raising and lowering the school's flags. They decided to see if their tongues really would stick to the cold metal.
"I decided to try it because I thought all of the TV shows were lies, but turns out I was wrong," Gavin said.
Karen Alexander, James' mother , said her son told her he got the idea from the movie, which is based on stories about a boy growing up in the northwest Indiana community of Hammond in the 1940s

"I can't believe he did it, but they learned their lesson," she said.
James said he plans to eat a lot of ice cream to help nurse his wound.
"When you're young, you're just messing around," he said.
Billie Dempsey, Gavin's mom, said a nurse called them to tell them the boys' tongues were bleeding.
"The nurse asked them, 'OK, who double-dog dared who?"' Billie Dempsey said, a reference to a phrase that a character in the movie used to dare another child to stick his tongue to the pole.

(Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Police: 'Bizarre sex' kills woman

Use of electricity sparked heart attack in Lower Windsor woman's death, police said.
By MIKE HOOVER
Daily Record/Sunday News
Article Last Updated: 01/24/2008 03:58:28 PM EST

3:58 PM
Jan 24, 2008 — A 37-year-old Lower Windsor Township man is charged with using electricity to shock his wife to death in what police describe as some “bizarre sex” inside the bedroom of their southern York County trailer.
Toby Taylor, 37, of the 100 block of Oak Leaf Court, was charged Thursday with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment.

Late Wednesday night, police say they responded Taylor's home in the Restless Oak Village mobile home park for a reported electrocution that turned into a cardiac arrest.

Upon arriving, police found Kirsten Taylor, 29, unconscious and began to perform CPR. She was taken to York Hospital where she was pronounced dead at 11:25 p.m., according to the coroner's office.

During the investigation, police discovered Toby Taylor attached alligator clips on the end of a stripped electric cord which he attached to her breasts, according an arrest warrant affidavit. He would then use the off and on switch on a power strip to shock his wife, according to court records.

The jolt of electricity is believed to have triggered the heart attack, said Police Chief David Sterner.

“This was some bizarre sex,” he said.

An autopsy conducted at the Lehigh Valley Medical Center Thursday listed the cause and manner of death as pending, said York County Coroner Barry Bloss. A final determination awaits further testing of the electrical equipment used on the victim and a toxicology test, he said.
Kirsten Taylor's body had several visible burns to her body, including her breasts, which clearly indicated electrocution, he said.

After he was taken into custody, Toby Taylor claimed he used electricity to sexually arouse his wife and himself in performing previous sex acts, Bloss said.

“This was bizarre sex. Some people would say this was perverted sex. I have never seen anything like this before,” Bloss said.

Bloss said Sterner said even if Kirsten Taylor consented to the use of electricity, Toby Taylor should be charged because his action showed a reckless disregard for human life.

“Even if you did it before, you have to know you could kill someone,” Bloss said.

Sterner said Toby Taylor also lied to police and tried to conceal evidence after his wife lost consciousness. He said that he initially blamed a hair dryer for the injuries and dressed her naked body.

“If this was an accident, he obviously went too far,” Sterner said.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Keywords] [Google] [Hits] [Visits] [Blog]
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State Of The Union - Don't Drop The Soap

Dear Constant Reader,

So the woman who raised a fan of prison rape board games is endorsing Obama.
We all know that Barack Obama won't be President, but it's good to know that he's got the support of a woman who's son is a creepy weirdo that probably touches himself at the thought of being sodomized by inmates.
God Bless America!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Kansas Governor] [Governer Kansas] [Governor Of Kansas] [Kathleen Sibelius] [State Of The Union]
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A New Something Added To The Site

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm a huge fan of solo female singers/groups, and I've decided to treat you to a weekly selection of some of my favorites.
I cheated a little this week because I added 3 Natalie Merchant songs, and 3 10,000 Maniacs songs (when Natalie was with them)
Also included:
- Bonnie Tyler
- Annie Lennnox
- Blondie
& many more.

Use the widget to enjoy all 45 of week one's selections.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Favorite] [Female] [Singers] [Music] [Songs]
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Apparently CIBC Is Fascinated By My Blog

Dear Constant Reader,

One little complaint, and they come swarming around.
The funny part?
The swarmer seems to be a disgruntled employee of CIBC!

Check it:

We Were The Cool Kids
By Details > Visit Detail
Visit 19,961
[<<] [>>]
Domain Name (Unknown)
IP Address IP ADDRESS STRIPPED BY BLOGGER.# (CIBC)
ISP Bell Canada
Location
Continent : North America
Country : Canada (Facts)
State/Region : Ontario
City : Markham
Lat/Long : 43.8667, -79.2667 (Map)
Distance : 5,942 miles
Language English (U.S.)
en-us
Operating System Microsoft Win2000
Browser Internet Explorer 6.0
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)
Javascript version 1.3
Monitor
Resolution : 1600 x 1200
Color Depth : 32 bits
Time of Visit Jan 23 2008 1:17:35 pm
Last Page View Jan 23 2008 1:17:35 pm
Visit Length 0 seconds
Page Views 1
Referring URL http://www.google.ca...z=&q=fuck cibc&meta=
Search Engine google.ca
Search Words fuck cibc
Visit Entry Page http://wewerethecool...bc-can-stuff-it.html
Visit Exit Page http://wewerethecool...bc-can-stuff-it.html
Out Click
Time Zone UTC-5:00
Visitor's Time Jan 23 2008 2:17:35 pm
Visit Number 19,961

Someone from CIBC googling "fuck cibc"?
That's pretty damned funny right there.
I do have to wonder if CIBCsucks.com™ gets this same kind of attention from disgruntled workers?
There does appear to be more than a few employees sending them nasty stories about working for this big, bad bank.
It's hardly shocking that a bank would get a lot of hateful hate, but the fact that someone dedicated an entire site to that hate is inspiring.
This truly lets me know that I'm not the only one suffering at the talons of these "people".
Do they really not understand what it's like to be in charge of the banking for someone who's given up on life, and has dumped everything into your lap?
I've been shoved into a stressful situation, and they won't even drop an ounce of sympathy for something that's caused me much strain?

An overseas branch of CIBC also seems to be following my hatred for this bank.

Check it:

We Were The Cool Kids
By Location > Visit Detail
Visit 19,954
[<<] [>>]
Domain Name (Unknown)
IP Address IP ADDRESS STRIPPED BY BLOGGER.# (CIBC World Markets)
ISP British Telecommunications
Location
Continent : Europe
Country : United Kingdom (Facts)
State/Region : London, City of
City : London
Lat/Long : 51.5, -0.1167 (Map)
Distance : 3,878 miles
Language unknown
Operating System Microsoft WinXP
Browser Internet Explorer 6.0
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)
Javascript disabled
Time of Visit Jan 23 2008 3:54:22 am
Last Page View Jan 23 2008 3:54:23 am
Visit Length 1 second
Page Views 2
Referring URL unknown
Visit Entry Page http://wewerethecool...bc-can-stuff-it.html
Visit Exit Page http://wewerethecool...bc-can-stuff-it.html
Out Click
Time Zone unknown
Visitor's Time Unknown
Visit Number 19,954

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [CIBC] [Banks] [Banking] [Canada] [Money]
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More Cowbell

Dear Constant Reader,

I've still got a fever, and Tom ain't no longer the cure!
Now I'm tossing up the classic SNL sketch, and our fever can finally be satiated:

If you have problems playing the video, try clicking on the play
button, "twice". The full video is >15Mb.

More Cowbell:



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [More Cowbell] [Bruce Dickenson] [Will Ferrell] [Christopher Walken] [Don't Fear The Reaper]
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Oxygen Concentrator - The New Hip Toy For People Who Can't Breathe?

Dear Constant Reader,

Why should you give a rat's ass about an oxygen concentrator?
It's the only way that we're going to make sure there is no anarchy, and that cats don't end up being allowed to marry dogs.
Apparently.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Oxygen] [Asthma] [Breathing] [Air] [Medicine]
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Should I Sue?

Dear Constant Reaader,

I'm still pissed off that the paramedics behaved like big, dumb bastards and trashed our outdoor lighting.
I'm not sure whether I should sue them to replace it, or if I should simply refuse the pay the $200 ambulance bill that we keep getting everytime Mom falls down.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Outdoor Lighting] [Lights] [Paramedics] [Lawsuit] [Ass To Mouth]
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Let's Disco Baby

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm in a weird mood today.
The kind of mood that makes me wanna slap on my platform shoes, my gold suit and my coke-spoon necklace.
Anybody else feel like dance, dance, dancing the night away with me?
Everybody let's get funkified:

"I Love The Night Life" by Alicia Bridges:



I'm such a disco fag.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Disco] [Music] [Videos] [Dance] [Alicia Bridges]
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I'm Not That Modern

Dear Constant Readers,

Some friends of ours wanted to give us some furniture, and I balked at the idea because it was modern furniture.
Why?
Because this was the tackiest grouping of design disaster that I've ever seen, and I couldn't imagine having to live with these eyesores all over the fucking place.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Furniture] [Home Decorating] [Design] [Furnishings] [Furnishings]
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Popup Blockers

Dear Constant Reader,

Trying to find a really good popup blocker is something that I think everyone is always trying to do.
It seems that those pesky fucking ads will sometimes get past regardless of what you do.
Do my readers have any suggestions for something that's super powerful?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Popups] [Popup Blockers] [Ads] [Software] [Web]
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CIBC Can Stuff It

Dear Constant Reader,

The Canadian Imperial Bank Of Commerce is about to have me jam a pen in their collective eyes, rip them out and munch the fuck down.
These assholes are making a person's difficult life even more difficult, and don't give a rat's ass.
I'm forced to see them on Thursday so these criminal creeps will stop treating me like a criminal creep.
Cocksuckers!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [CIBC] [Banks] [Banking] [Canada] [Money]
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I've been thinking about ...

Dear Constant Reader,

I've been thinking a lot about two good friends of mine, and wondering how in the hell I got so fucking lucky to have them in my life.
We are divided by a great distance, and yet together every day.
I'm not exactly sure what route my life would've taken without them, but I'm absolutely sure that it wouldn't have been nowhere as happy as it is.
These people are closer to me than family, and I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
Is there someone like that in your life?

"If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair."

- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Friends] [Friendship] [Life] [Samuel Johnson] [Happiness]
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Old teenage whores are lying on the ground

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm a terrible listener.
It took me a long time to realize that the lyrics for "1,2,3,4", by Feist, didn't contain the lyric "Old teenage whores are lying on the ground"
There's actually a term for this!
I'm a victim of a mondegreen.
It's a good thing "there's a bathroom on the right"

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Lyrics] [Mondegreen] [Feist] [Songs] [Music]
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Okay Someone Explain

Dear Constant Reader,

Can someone here explain the term succession plan to me, and why I should actually give a rat's ass?
Maybe I shouldn't give a rat's ass, and simple take my hot ass to bed.
That's probably the best plan I've had all day.
Catch you all later in the day!
Play nice!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Some Things] [I] [Don't] [Care] [About]
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Nearly a year ago ...

Dear Constant Reader,

Nearly a year ago I had this conversation with some kind of religious twat, and apparently this person still has my fucking contact information.
They got ahold of me just a few minutes ago, and this is the conversation :
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Them: GUESSSSSSSSSSS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Me not remembering them.

Them: i cam to yourt blog again!11
Me:A lot of people come to reading my blog. It's a sexy blog.
Them: YTAOURE STILL STUPDI!!!
Me: Okay so now you're calling me stupid, and you can't even spell a couple of very simple words?
Them: jesus lvoes you
Me: He does what now?
Them: LOVE S YOU STUPID! YOUR SO BLIND!!!1
Me: That's cause I jerk off an awful lot. Didn't your mother ever tell you what excessive self touching does?

Me suddenly remembering them, and wondering how the hell they still had my Skype information.

Me: Have you ever been cornholed by a Canadian?

20 minutes later ...

Them: HWAT!?!?!?!!?
Me: Have ... you ... ever ... been ... cornholed ... by ... a ... Canadian?
Them: What is gcornholde?
Me: I'm not sure what "gcornholde" is ... you tell me
Them: CORNHOLED! WHAT AIS THAT?! YOU SAID IT!?!
Me: It would involve you bending over my kitchen table, me pulling down your pants and me making sure that won't shit right for a week.
Them: WHAT!?
Me: Hey you spelled "what" right! Have a cookie bitch!
Them: DO YOY KNOW JESUS!
Me: He'z tyte dawg!
Them: WHART?!
Me: Um ... warts? I think you spelled "what" wrong ... give me back my cookie motherfucker.
Them: YOU AHVE BAD>!
Me: Que?
Them: WHAT?!
Me: No habla espanol
Them: YOU'RE AHABLA WHATEVER YHTAT MEANS!?
Me: I need to get on with my life ... same time next year?
Them: FUCK YOU I'M VCHRISTNA I KNOW JEUSSE AND YOU DON'T !11! EAT SHIT IN HELD!
Me: So I take it that this is a "No" to the violent kitchen table type sodomy?
Them: FUCK YOU IA BOCLOCKED YOU!?
Me: Awww.
Them: I BLOCKCED YOU I CAN'T SEER WHAT YOUR SAYING! AHAHAHHAHAHA BURNE NIN HELL!!!
-

This guy is taking all the wrong kinds of drugs.
Time for me to crawl into my cat bed, and get myself some serious masturbation time.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Christians] [Make] [Me] [So] [Horny]
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Do Christians really believe ...

Dear Constant Reader,

I heard recently that some Christians believe that home owners insurance is a form of gambling.
These people need to have a seriously good house fire if they really believe that this is the case.
I'm talking about a raging-ass, four alarm kind of thing.
Seriously.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Insurance] [House] [Home] [Fire] [Christians]
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And we all shine on ...

Dear Constant Reader,

How many car covers would fit up a persons ass?
My sister thinks that her car is to be seriously worshipped, and that to have it seen by other cars would somehow lower the damned things value.
I'm gathering that she needs to have her head examined (oh and by the way), and stopping dressing up her dog while she's at it.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Area 51] [Is] [Alien] [Hell] [Video]
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People Missing Chromosomes Need Love Too

Dear Constant Reader,

She's apparently dying ... or something.
Come point, and laugh at this freak of unnatural nature ...



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Whacky] [Crippple] [BlogTV] [Live Video] [Video]
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Oh Holy Lord

Dear Constant Reader,

So I purchased a few pieces of fitness equipment, and I've actually been using them.
The thing that I find fascinating is that I get more disgusted with myself the more that I use them.
I should be going to a gym, but I'm doing exercise in a cramped ass living room instead.
Some human contact would probably do my body image some good ... and get me some possible pussy.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Hey] [All] [Let's] [Get] [Physical]
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My Tough Guy Neighbor Ain't Nothing To Fuck With

Dear Constant Reader,

My neighbor is a pig.
He's a nice guy, but he's a pig.
I've noticed that he's taken to simply leaving piles of his truck accessories at the end of his driveway, and making anybody who visits him drive around the fucking things to park.
They've even started using our driveway!
I went over to talk to him about it, and he told me to eat shit.
Yum!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [My] [Neighbor] [Is] [A] [Douche]
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How hard is that job?

Dear Constant Reader,

I've noticed that WalMart greeters have started to us bar stools to do their job. They actually sit at the door, and greet rather than standing.
I realize that they are older people, but who friggen hard is that job?
They are supposed to be standing at their posts!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [WalMart] [Greeters] [Are] [Getting] [Lazy]
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Cool Guy On BlogTV - Come Join Us

Dear Constant Reader,

No bullshit!
I love this guy ... well not in THAT way ... or do I?
I dunno.



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [BlogTV] [ElfBoy] [Blog] [Live Video] [Fun]
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Toronto Zanta On BlogTV

Dear Constant Reader,

This guy has seriously lost his shit.
He thinks:
- Britney Spears is his girlfriend
- Elvis is his Dad
- Justin Timberlake brings him drugs.

He's been trying to get the CBC to air his story.
Mental illness is HILARIOUS!

Here he is ... LIVE :



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Toronto] [Toronto Zanta] [CBC] [Live Video] [Crazy]
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Internet WHORES are viral

Dear Constant Reader,

Prostitution is alive, and well ...



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Whore] [BlogTV] [Dancing] [Live Video] [Hooker]
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