My weird weekend

Dear Constant Reader,

Oh no I haven't vanished from the face of the earth but sometimes I wish that I would. Let me re-cap my weekend and then you'll know where I was right? Right.

Friday:
My mother says to me "there's something outside".
Having seen my fair share of horror movies I know that this is probably not a good thing. Having evil neighbors and an idiot caretaker I know that this probably isn't a good thing as well.
So what do I do?
I go outside of course!
I'm walking across the lawn when something throws what appears to be a dinner plate at the back of my head. It whizzes by me and shatters on the street.
Here's a photo of some of the pieces of the possible plate that I picked up from the street:

Had there been someone (of human or animal nature) in my yard the security lights would've went off but they didn't.
So who threw the plate?

Saturday:
We have two wild (outdoor) birds inside the house and they are upset. They are flying from room to room in a terror scaring the shit out of me the paranormal investigator. I'm such a wildlife pussy.

Sunday:
Yesterdays birds left and another one arrived. It could've been one of yesterdays but this one is bigger. It's still in the house

Monday:
I find out we have an escaped murderer wandering around. He escaped from the local nutbarn and is currently walking around ... somewhere. I wonder if he throws dinner plates to kill his victims?

How was your weekend?

Arthur
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