oHello Instant Phone Cards & Calling Cards

Dear Constant Reader,

This has got to be the best deal I have ever seen for prepaid phone cards.
These online calling cards from oHello will rock your telephone call world if you make as many telephone calls as I do.
It's so quick and easy and the prices are absolutely amazing.
You can save up to 90% on your long distance calls and I can't think of anything better.
oHello truly is the leading provider of online prepaid calling cards that are delivered to users instantly via email.

Follow the following link and start saving on your calls TODAY! :
oHello Instant Phone Cards & Calling Cards

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Phone Cards] [Calling Cards] [Prepaid] [Long Distance]
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Happy Halloween!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Halloween boys and girls!
Here's hoping that you have a great (and safe!) night of partying and trick or treating.
This trick or treater is gonna get himself drunk.
I was planning on visiting some friends in North Dakota but that fell through so it's me getting sloppy instead.
I'm going to be seeing my friends come spring/summer so I don't feel too terribly bad about missing the trip.
I do know that I'd much rather get drunk with them instead!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Happy] [Fucking] [Halloween] [Fuckers]
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DaVinci Code Tour - Google Earth

Dear Constant Reader,

I just had the most fascinating time taking the Google Earth tour of all the stops along the way in Dan Brown's bestseller "The DaVinci Code".
Both the shitty book and amazing Ron Howard movie are opened up for you as you visit all the locations that the story took place.

Check it out:
DaVinci Tour

Get Google Earth if you don't already have it: Google Earth.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [The DaVinci Code] [Dan Brown] [Ron Howard] [Tom Hanks]
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What on God's green earth is this?

Dear Constant Reader,

I um ... okay ...
I never got naked with my guy friends and poured sand in their buttcracks.
Seems like I'm the only one?
I could explain this video to you but well ... just watch.
Keep in mind that this video is an interview about one man's disturbing childhood experience with buttcrack sand filling and that it doesn't actually show any filling of buttcracks with sand.
At first I thought this was a joke but the interviewer seems genuinely creeped out.

"Guy Relives Childhood Trauma?":


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I] [Cannot] [Explain] [This]
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See "FrightWorld: The Movie"

Dear Constant Reader,

One of the best things about Halloween is all the scary films that keep us awake at night, clutching our blanket tightly.
Here's your chance to take in what's sure to be a classic with: FrightWorld The Movie World Premiere.

Plot Outline:
Nine people find themselves trapped in a warehouse that contains the remains of the old Frightworld Amusement Park - a place haunted by the spirit of Verden Fell, a serial killer who died there a year before.

This film was written by David R. Williams and David Williams and it was directed by David R. Williams, David Williams and Mike Bohatch. And it looks like they've done a helluva good job at creating something that will scare the living daylights out of even the hardest of hardcore horror fans.

A lot of people refuse to take the horror genre seriously but the fact of the matter is the depth of story telling found in any great work of horror fiction can safely stand up against great storytelling in any other genre.
If you've never seen a good horror film before then treat yourself to FrightWorld The Movie World Premiere and you will not be disappointed.

Event Description:
On October 31st the world premiere of FrightWorld the Movie will be held at Frightworld Haunted Amusement. Frightworld Haunted Amusement is regarded as one of the top 13 scream parks in the US. Event includes live music and Q&A with the cast.

If you're as big a horror fan as I am then you will not want to miss this event. You wouldn't want old Verden to come getcha would you? Didn't think so.

So click here:FrightWorld The Movie World Premiere and get your tickets today. It's guaranteed to be spooktacular.

The Poster:


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [FrightWorld] [Horror Films] [Halloween] [Fun]
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I Can't Stop Watching Daytime TV

Dear Constant Reader,

*standing up*
My name is Arthur ... and I can't stop watching daytime television.
I stay as far away as I can from the soaps but it's the talk-show type shows that I can't seem to get enough of.
It's either: Ellen, The View, or Martha that I find myself completely glued to and I can't get away from them.
Have I taken complete leave of my senses or are these shows just that good?
They can't be that good can they?
My question to my readers (I know you're out there): Am I nuts or are these shows really that entertaining?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Martha Stewart] [Ellen DeGeneres] [The View] [Daytime Television]
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Transvestites, Harry Potter and Smoking

Dear Constant Reader,

Transvestites:
I've been watching a half hour documentary series entitled "Kink" that features a series of stories about people's various sex lives.
One of the couples is Derek and Alexis. Beyond the fact that Alexis is a flaming transvestite they are a normal gay couple.
Here's my question:
Why do guys feel the need to be women?
Don't give me any bullshit psycho-babble because I don't buy into that.
Note to the trannies: You cannot have your crazy and eat it too.

Harry Potter:
I finally decided to really for real read the first Harry Potter book entitled "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"
This goes to show (yet again) that just because a writer sells millions of books that doesn't make them talented.
I fully realize that these books were intended for children (they would put a mildly retarded 5 year old to sleep) but plenty of adults wet their Hogwart's uniform over these wastes of paper.
I understand that Book 7 in this series is coming out shortly and I can't wait! Nothing starts a roaring Christmas fire faster than burning a steaming pile of bullshit.
Note to the parents: Reading these books will make children illiterate

Smoking:
I quit smoking exactly 24 hours ago (Saturday, October 21st, 2006, 11:00 pm) and I did it through a self hypnosis CD.
Not only has it been highly effective for me but listening to a droning voice was more entertaining than the infantile writing of J.K. Rowling in her bullshit Harry Potter books.
24 hours gone ... another 24 here I come!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Harry Potter] [Should] [Be] [Shot]
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My glasses broke ...

Dear Constant Reader,

Today my glasses fell apart in my hands, and I'm now going to have to get another pair.
For most this is a relatively inexpensive proposition but for me it's not. I require a special lens for one eye and this requires special frames to fit the special lens.
My last pair of glasses cost me a grand total of $375.00, and they haven't gotten cheaper since then.
I would appreciate hearing from Canadians as to where they find is the best place to purchase an inexpensive pair.
It would be nice to not be forced to give handjobs on the street so that I can actually read without having to rock a pair of taped up specs.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Where] [To] [Purchase] [Glasses]
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Something Webfeed this way comes

Dear Constant Reader,

You might notice a rather popular story submitter over at Netscape these days by the name of Webfeed.
The man who runs the popular Webfeed Central has captured the imagination of Netscape readers with a great collection of stories that are handpicked to be entertaining and insightful.
Not only does he submit some of the best stories, but he also manages to conjur up articles of his own that make for the most fascinating of reads.
Head on over to Netscape and check his stuff out.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Webfeed] [Submissions] [At] [Netscape]
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End domestic violence ... today

Dear Constant Reader,

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and you'll find this collection of links and help numbers of particular interest if you come from a family where abuse is a daily occurance.
I often make jokes about the things that happened within my family but abuse really isn't a laughing matter.
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More Information:
This lists other U.S. organizations that provide information and services pertaining to domestic violence.
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National Domestic Violence Hotline / Linea Nacional sobre la Violencia Doméstica
Toll Free Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY: 1-800-787-3224
For advocacy, counseling and referral, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You will reach a trained advocate who can talk with you about your situation, your safety, and the options available to you. Friends and family members are also welcome to call for information. All conversations with hotline advocates are strictly confidential. Support available in English or Spanish with interpreters available for over 139 languages. Website: http://www.ndvh.org
o
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence provides comprehensive information and resources, policy development and assistance to enhance community response to and prevention of domestic violence. NRCDV enhances the capacity of organizations and individuals working to end violence in the lives of women and their children and proactively supports the work of national, state, and local domestic violence programs. Toll Free Phone: (800) 537-2238 TTY: (800) 533-2508 Fax: (717) 545-9456 Website: http://www.nrcdv.org
o
Health Resource Center on Domestic Violence at the Family Violence Prevention Fund provides technical assistance, training, public policy form, and materials to those interested in developing a comprehensive health care response to domestic violence in all health care settings. Toll Free Phone: (888) Rx-ABUSE (792-2873) Fax: (415) 252-8991 Website: http://www.endabuse.org/health
o
Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Child Protection & Custody provides access to the best possible source of information and tangible assistance to those working in the field of domestic violence and child protection and custody. In addition, the CPC identifies and develops model policies, protocols, and programs that are sensitive to the legal, cultural, and psychological dynamics of child protection and custody cases involving family violence. Toll Free Phone: (800) 527-3223 Fax: (775) 784-6160 Website: http://www.ncjfcj.org
o
Sacred Circle: National Resource Center to End Violence Against Native Women provides technical assistance, policy development, training institutes, and resource information on ending domestic violence and sexual assault in American Indian / Alaska Native tribal communities. Operated by Cangleska, Inc., Sacred Circle aids tribes, tribal organizations and nations to stop violence against Native women. Toll Free Phone: (877) 733-7623 Fax: (605) 341-2472
o
Alianza (National Latino Alliance for the Elimination of Domestic Violence / Alianza Latina Nacional para Erradicar la Violencia Doméstic) is "a group of nationally recognized Latina and Latino advocates, community activists, practitioners, researchers, and survivors of domestic violence working together to promote an understanding, sustain dialogue, and generate solutions to move toward the elimination of domestic violence affecting Latino communities, with an understanding of the sacredness of all relations and communities." Website: http://www.dvalianza.org
o
Asian & Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence works "to eliminate domestic violence in Asian and Pacific Islander communities by increasing awareness about the extent and depth of the problem; making culturally specific issues visible; strengthening community models of prevention and itnervention; identifying and expanding resources; informing and promoting research and policy; and deepening...understanding and analyses of the issues surrounding violence against women." Phone: 415-954-9988 ext. 315. Fax: 415-954-9999. Website: http://www.apiahf.org/apidvinstitute/default.htm
o
Family Violence Prevention Fund works to prevent violence within the home, and in the community, to help those whose lives are devastated by abuse by educating the public and improving institutions' response to domestic violence. Website: http://www.endabuse.org
o
National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence provides training, consulting and advocacy at local, state, regional and national levels. NCDSV promotes a community collaboration model and collaborates with law enforcement, legal system agencies, advocacy organizations, social service agencies, the military and other community entities in their efforts to end domestic and sexual violence. Website: http://www.ncdsv.org
o
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence serves as a national information and referral center for the general public, media, battered women and their children, allied and member agencies and organizations. Website: http://www.ncadv.org
o
VAWnet: the National Electronic Network on Violence Against Women, is a project of NRCDV. VAWnet provides a comprehensive online collection of advocacy-based electronic resources on domestic violence, sexual violence, and related intersecting issues. Resources include applied research papers, policy and practice papers, federal and state funding information, prevention and public education materials, community advocacy materials and information about other national, state, regional and local organizations and programs. Website: http://www.vawnet.org
o
Violence Against Women Online Resources (VAWOR) provides law, criminal justice, advocacy, and social service professionals with up-to-date information on interventions to stop violence against women through the Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse. Website: http://www.vaw.umn.edu
o
National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) is a project of the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape. NSVRC provides resources (information, technical assistance, and materials) to national organizations, state sexual assault coalitions, community-based programs, allied organizations, and the public. NSVRC works to strengthen support systems serving sexual assault survivors, and to support the development of policy and practice that produce effective interventions for and prevention of sexual violence. Phone: (877)739-3895. Website: http://www.nsvrc.org
o
Stalking Resource Center (SRC) is a program of the National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC). SRC raises national awareness of stalking and encourages the development and implementation of multidisciplinary responses to stalking in local communities. SRC provides trainings, an information clearinghouse, a practitioners' network and a peer-to-peer exchange program. Toll Free Phone: 800-FYI-CALL (800-394-2255) TTY: 800-211-7996 Fax: 202-467-8701 Website: http://www.ncvc.org/src
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Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [October] [Domestic] [Abuse] [Month]
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Recent World Wide School Shootings

Dear Constant Reader,

I love school shootings as much as the next guy and if you're a fan of school violence then you need to go on over here: Recent World Wide School Shootings
This webmaster has way too much time on his hands and it's great to see him put it to such good use don't you think?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Google] [Map] [School] [Shootings]
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Chris Rock's Mother Sues Disobediant Cracker

Dear Constant Reader,

Comedian Chris Rock's mother Rose is going to demonstrate today outside a Cracker Barrel restaurant in South Carolina after the wait staff, she says, ignored her – and she's roped in the Rev. Al Sharpton to help spread the word, report Rush & Molloy. Mrs. Rock alleges that she and her daughter – the only black people in the restaurant -- had been seated for more than 30 minutes in the Murrels Inlet, S.C. outpost of the popular chain and that no one took her order. The manager then tried to placate the pair with free meals, but, by then, says Mrs. Rock, whose various exploits are fictionalized on her son's sitcom "Everybody Hates Chris," "Neither of us wanted to eat." Cracker Barrel says it's investigating the matter and that it does not "tolerate any form of discrimination." Mrs. Rock plans to sue the chain with Sharpton's help.

Dear Chris Rock's Mother,

You mean to tell me that you had time to be offended and notice that you and your daughter were the only two black people in the restaurant? I'm very impressed you lying sack of dogshit.
Perhaps you need to realize that you're really not that important and that every customer in the restaurant deserves to be given their food before your royal highness eats her meal.
Your son is Chris Rock so what the hell are you doing eating at the motherfuckin' Cracker Barrel?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Mom] [Is] [An] [Idiot]
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"The Daily Show" - "10 F****** Years Of Presidents"

Dear Constant Reader,

Jon Stewart takes a look back at 10 years of presidential coverage on "The Daily Show". Believe it or not, they have mentioned ALL of the presidents in the show, except one ...

"10 F****** Years"


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Daily Show] [Ten] [Fucking] [Years]
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"We Built This City" On Bad 80's Pop Songs

Dear Constant Reader,

NEW YORK (New York Post) — Talk about torture — Blender magazine editors chose Starship's 1985 hit "We Built This City" as the worst song of all time.

Pardon me "Blender" magazine?
I'm not sure who the heck these guys think they are because I happen to love this song!
There certainly has to be worse songs than this right?
I can think of plenty of other songs that drive me completely bug-shit whenever I am forced to listen to them.

Some Of My Nominees:
o The Theme From "Goonies" - Cyndi Lauper
o Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
o Take My Breath Away - Berlin
o Hazy Shade Of Winter - The Bangles

Those are just some of my thoughts on songs that are far worse than "We Built This City".
It seems to me that these "Blender" motherfuckers need to ge their goddamn ears cleaned the fuck out.

The Video For This 80's Classic ... Enjoy!


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Suck] [It] [Blender] [Magazine]
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VoiceQuilt "music boxes that play memories"

Dear Constant Reader,

Recently I found this absolutely amazing new product called VoiceQuilt, and I'm completely blown away by it!

Description From Site:
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VoiceQuilt allows you to create “music boxes that play memories”. Invite your group to phone in messages. After they call in, review messages and create a "playlist" online. Then, choose delivery: Have VoiceQuilt ship a Keepsake or share an electronic VoiceQuilt (download or email).
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This is absolutely something that I'll be adding to my Christmas list this year and I highly suggest that you do the same.
Anybody would love to have this arrive at their doorstep, filled with memories from their loved ones.
I'm going to be getting one of these for my mother for Christmas and have it filled up with family messages of love and Christmas wishes for the lady who put up with us all these years. She deserves it!
Even more amazing is it only takes minutes to set up and you have a gift that a loved one will remember forever.
I can't even think of enough wonderful things to say about this!

Visit VoiceQuilt today and begin to share memories with your loved ones!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Amazing] [New] [Gift] [Idea]
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My 100th Post!: Niner Niner ... Getting Paid To Blog

Dear Constant Reader,

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Update: (10/24/06)
I've given the folks at ninerniner.com the shitcan as it seems to be more of a clique than anything else. I guess you gotta stay close-knit when you're participating in a Google ad-scam right?
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Welcome to my 100th post!
Not much to say today besides the fact that I signed up with NinerNiner yesterday.
This is an amazing way to get paid to blog and the blogs (as well as their main site) are really well put together.
I suggest that you sign up today.
Please note: I'm still doing this blog so keep on keep on keep on keep on reading!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Get] [Paid] [To] [Blog]
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Bork, Bork, Bork! : Part Dork

Dear Constant Reader,

Tom and I were over at YouTube watching some pretty fucked up clips from the very brilliant "The Muppet Show" (1976-1981).
One of the things we found disturbing was Alice Cooper's appearance on the show. Alice offers the Muppets contracts with the Devil, offering anything they want in exchange for their soul. Kermit shudders at the idea, but Miss Piggy considers it, and Gonzo is all for it.
Weird huh?
The other thing we watched (with much glee) is classic Swedish Chef clips.
Here's my most favorite Swedish Chef moment ever:

Chocolate Moose:


Alice Cooper Performs "You & Me" On The Show:


You can see Tom's selections right here: Bork, Bork, Bork!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Classic] [TV] [Show] [Clips]
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Our First Snow!

Dear Constant Reader,

Well it finally happened!
Today was our first snow here in the Great White North.
This is almost as exciting as having your priest tell you you're his very favorite altar boy.
Don't you love when I piss on a beautiful weather event with an ugly image like that?
What's even more exciting is that it's supposed to rain tonight.
There's gonna be cars and shit sliding everywhere!
Take that people who go outside and lead normal lives!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Our] [Very] [First] [Snow]
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My weird weekend

Dear Constant Reader,

Oh no I haven't vanished from the face of the earth but sometimes I wish that I would. Let me re-cap my weekend and then you'll know where I was right? Right.

Friday:
My mother says to me "there's something outside".
Having seen my fair share of horror movies I know that this is probably not a good thing. Having evil neighbors and an idiot caretaker I know that this probably isn't a good thing as well.
So what do I do?
I go outside of course!
I'm walking across the lawn when something throws what appears to be a dinner plate at the back of my head. It whizzes by me and shatters on the street.
Here's a photo of some of the pieces of the possible plate that I picked up from the street:

Had there been someone (of human or animal nature) in my yard the security lights would've went off but they didn't.
So who threw the plate?

Saturday:
We have two wild (outdoor) birds inside the house and they are upset. They are flying from room to room in a terror scaring the shit out of me the paranormal investigator. I'm such a wildlife pussy.

Sunday:
Yesterdays birds left and another one arrived. It could've been one of yesterdays but this one is bigger. It's still in the house

Monday:
I find out we have an escaped murderer wandering around. He escaped from the local nutbarn and is currently walking around ... somewhere. I wonder if he throws dinner plates to kill his victims?

How was your weekend?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [My] [Very] [Weird] [Weekend]
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I'm putting YOU the reader to work

Dear Constant Reader,

Our neighbors have recently taken to dumping their trash in our yards and today they dumped an entire television in our yard.
I've decided to start video surveillance of our front yard to see exactly what else is going on and this is YOUR time to help me.
You can watch my video camera on this blog and report to me anything fucked up that you see.
You can either leave a comment on this blog or you can call me on Skype (this will forward to my home phone) by dialing (315) 849-5707.
And if you would be so kind as to take a screenshot of what you see that would be great as well. To make the video larger simply click on the video screen and you can take a screenshot from there and send it to me by clicking here.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Watching] [My] [Evil] [Neighbors]
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Reading Leads To Violence In Youth

Let's make Sunday MadTV day starting with this clip that proves that reading creates violent, sociopathic kids and not video games :



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Violent] [Video] [Games] [Parody]
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