Anonymous Losers Leaving Random Comments

Dear Constant Reader,

Some people need to get a fucking life.
I'm so tired of having to deal with stupid people who's sole purpose seems to be making complete asses out of themselves.
If Mr. Anonymous had a dick he'd reveal his true identity.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Anonymous] [Commenters] [Need] [A] [Life]
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Bam

Dear Constant Reader,

My caretaker, and his Ingersoll Rand air tools are about to be thrown off a cliff by me if I only had enough energy to care.
He still hasn't come to fix the front windows, and I'm not entirely sure if he's ever going to let go of the booze long enough to even do so.
I may have to just put up some plastic, and learn to do with it in the way that I have to learn to deal with everything else.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Tools] [Garage] [Caretaker] [Life] [House]
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My Sister, And I

Dear Constant Reader,

My oldest sister came for a visit tonight, and for four hours we all had a visit that wasn't full of animosity and anger.
We're actually starting to get along, and I'm hopefully that this keeps up.
We've never been on totally excellent speaking terms, but it looks like all that anger is finally turning around and we've finally left our emotional luggage at the door.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Family] [Sister] [Relationships] [Sister] [life]
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My 600th Post

Dear Constant Reader,

This is my 600th time that I've written my thoughts on this blog, and according to market research I should have a blog that's taking the world by storm.
It's not really doing that, but I know that I have a few dedicated readers who love to hear me pulling random, daily thoughts out of my ample ass.
God bless you readers.
Now I need to see if I can take more time to squeeze in actually having a life.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Blogging] [Bloggers] [Blog] [Weblog] [Writing]
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Viva Las Poker

Dear Constant Reader,

This week I'm going to be going Rio Las Vegas in my living room by entering a boatload of online poker tournies.
I've gotten very good at Hold'Em, I've won a lot of money and I hope to one day sit at a WSOP table.
I know that I'm going to need a lot more practice, but one of these days I'm going to be wearing one of those fancy WSOP bracelets around my wrist.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Poker] [WSOP] [Gambling] [Vegas] [Holdem]
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There's No Business ...

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm a huge fan of the theater, and I love that time of year when I can buy tickets for all the best shows that are coming our way.
The only thing that I wish is that the tickets I was buying were Broadway tickets because I've always wanted to check out a Broadway show.
One of these days I may just get the chance to see the great white way instead of seeing a show in the great white north.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Tickets] [Broadway] [Theater] [Entertainment] [Shows]
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Here Comes The Groom

Dear Constant Reader,

A good friend of mine is getting married, and I guess this means that I need to attempt to buy something for him.
I was going to go with a prostitute, but I suspect that his bride to be wouldn't be terribly pleased with that.
Buying a groomsmen gift is something that's going to make me batty, but I'm sure that something will come along that will dazzle and surprise my good buddy.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Gifts] [Shopping] [Weddings] [Marriage] [Shopping]
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When A Girlfriend Just Won't Do?

Dear Constant Reader,

I have a friend who's developed a bit of strange relationship, and I'm not sure how the heck I'm supposed to react to his obvious mental breakdown.
This is going to sound unbelievable, but it's true that I have a friend who's given up women for animal inflatable love.
You heard me correctly.
His friends have tried to get him some help for this, and we're tapped as to what we can do anymore.
He's completely convinced that his new "friend" loves him, and he's doing everything he can to love it return.



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Mr. Drummond] [Is] [A] [Wealthy] [Pedophile]
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Oh, OJ Eat Your Heart Out: Memorabilia Shopping Fun

Dear Constant Reader,

Are you looking for a great place to pick up some really awesome fan goodness?
I found this absolutely fantastic website that is (in my opinion) the best place for you to pick up some cool goodies, regardless of what you're into.
Sports? Movies? Music? Whatever your memorabilia needs I know that you're going to find it at Millionaire Memorabilia
I happened upon this really nice piece of memorabilia from "Curb Your Enthusiasm", and immediately had to have it :



I'm probably going to end up shopping myself to death at this site, and loving every minute.
There was literally nothing that I searched for that I could find, and I know a few people are going to have a really cool gift underneath our family Christmas tree this year.
Their prices are perfect, and the super easy to navigate site makes your shopping process easier than most other sites that I've visited.
You do not want to give up the chance to grab those gifts from them, and find something for that hard to buy for friend, or family member.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Memorabilia] [Television] [Movies] [Music] [Gifts]
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Microsize Me

Dear Constant Reader,

I was attempting to find a good micro sd card, and I think I've finally found exactly what I want.
I find myself chowing down on more memory than I should be, and finding it increasingly difficult to manage the files that I keep trying to move around. There's just way too much shit on my computer that I'm afraid to delete because I figure that someday I might need it. I'm a digital packrat, and it's making me nuts.
Eventually I'll have to get an entirely new computer that has mountains of memory or else just decide to clean house.
I'm such a hopeless collector of shit that I'll never need.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Computers] [Tech] [Memory] [Life] [Me]
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Diamonds Are A Sisters Best Friend

Dear Constant Reader,

My mother has several diamond rings that she is attempting to give away, and I'm trying to convince her to keep them.
They are old family heirlooms that cannot be replaced, but she doesn't want them and refuses to listen to any argument on the matter.
The real problem (from my perspective) is that she wants to give them to my sister. What?!
Why on God's green earth would she wanted to get them into my sisters hands?
I asked her if I could have them, but she insists that my sister has a better use for them. What possible use would my sister have for them? I don't know, but my guess is that she'll probably sell the fucking things.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Diamonds] [Rings] [Family] [Sister] [Life]
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Please Drop Dead

Dear Constant Reader,

I wish my landlord would obtain some nasty case of maliganant mesothelioma, and die a painful death.
Some would say that this makes me a bad person, but I rarely care what people think about me.
I can count on one hand the number of people who's opinion of me matters, and occasionally even their opinion doesn't matter all that much.
What a great world this would be if less people cared about what people thought of them, and concentrated on being who they really want to be don't you think?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Cancer] [Landlord] [People] [Life] [Me]
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My Watch, Your Butt

Dear Constant Reader,

There's this complete asshole (who goes by the name Corey3rd) over at a certain message board I participate in.
I'm not sure what their problem is, but I'd love to shove my Vacheron Constantin as far up their ass as I can.
They seem to think that being a parent makes them smarter than everyone else, and that their opinion is far more valuable.
Huh?
Having a child fall out of your woman doesn't make you better than anyone else, and the sooner you learn that the better.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Watches] [Message Boards] [Internet] [Assholes] [Losers]
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The Art Of The Opening Title

Dear Constant Reader,

Sometimes an opening title sequence can be even more amazing than the movie.
I saw a list of this particular persons favorite opening title sequences, and decided to show you some of my favorites. Ready?

"Casino"
- Titles by: Saul & Elaine Bass



"Casino Royale"
- Titles by: Daniel Kleinman



"Die Another Day"
- Titles by: Daniel Kleinman



"Austin Powers: Goldmember"


"Tomorrow Never Dies"
- Titles by: Daniel Kleinman



"Grease 2"
- Directed and Choreographed by: Patricia Birch



"Cannonball Run"



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Movies] [Titles] [Music] [Films] [Entertainment]
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Poopie Sinks

Dear Constant Reader,

How many times do people have to tell people that bathroom sinks are not toilets?
My sister, who works at WalMart, recently told me a story about a customer who took a shit in one of their sinks. Why?
What kind of world are we living in where people still do things like this, and don't see anything wrong with it? Do they think it's funny?
My position is that this person was suffering from some kind of mental illness, and should probably be shunned by society.
Moving all the crazies to a deserted island would stop sink poopage.


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Bathrooms] [Toilet] [WalMart] [Sister] [Job]
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But Why?

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm sure that most Penn State football fans are level-headed, but I'm also sure that most of them are in need of some serious variety of therapy.
Oh, who am I kidding?
The enjoyment of sports are for illiterate, backwoods idiots who wouldn't known Puccini from their assholes.
I recently got a spam that's advertising a football book (about Penn), and found it less understandable than the Nigerian scam emails that I can't seem to stop getting. The author of this thing was clearly a frothing football fan, and didn't care how silly he was making himself sound.

Oh, and who's Puccini?



P.S.
Puccini isn't the name of the woman who's singing.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Puccini] [Opera] [Music] [Sports] [Football]
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A few thoughts on IMDB & 99.9% of their userbase

Dear Constant Reader,

IMDB is prime real estate for every possible kind of asshole that one could imagine.
More than ever you're going to run into people living in trailers complaining that this or that actor is fat, that this or that director sucks and all manner of idiot opinion. Do any of these people actually work in the business, or know anything about any aspect of the business? Of course not. Having actual knowledge would get in the way of wanting to say what a person wants to whether it's an educated opinion or not.
God bless the illusion of free speech.


Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Real Estate] [Movies] [IMDB] [Free Speech] [America]
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Work At Home?

Dear Constant Reader,

Doing my work at home has allowed me to do the things that I wouldn't be doing if I had a 9to5 kind of existance.
What other job allows you to nap, read a book, watch a DVD or anything that you'd do during your time away from work? I can't think of one.
I tried doing the cubicle thing, and I ended up getting myself ill and hating to even wake up in the morning. I no longer have that pressure, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Work@Home] [Jobs] [Employment] [Work] [Job]
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