Everybody Must Get Stoned

Dear Constant Reader,

There's an awful lot of stories in the bible about hookers getting eviscerated, and people getting their dumbasses stoned to death.
Why am I mentioning this?
I envy those who got eviscerated, and stoned to death.
At least their problems are solved.
I would love nothing more than to be nailed up to one of Francis' stair lifts, and left there to bleed from the asshole.
People could still use the thing, but they'd to ignore the stench of my rotting corpse.
Problem solved.

Arthur
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