An Album Review - Elton John "The Captain And The Kid"

Friday, September 29, 2006


Elton and Bernie Taupin have murdered my ability to enjoy an Elton John album.
I just want to say (before I do my song by song review of this giant heap of shit) that you're not going to enjoy this review if you happen to be a "he can do no wrong" kind of fan.
Here we go ...
1. Postcards From Richard Nixon
I realize this album is supposed to be an autobiographical look at the career of Elton and Bernie but could they possibly have beaten this dead reference from the 70's to death harder? This song (like most of the others) is one you forget five seconds after you have to sit through it.

2. Just Like Noah's Ark
Is that a fucking organ I hear? Now I love organ music as much as the next heterosexual (except for that one time) man but this is unbearable.
Wait is that now a dog I hear barking? A cowbell reference? Jesus! The lyrics are quite good but Elton and his producer tangle them in horror.

3. Wouldn't Have You Any Other Way
A song about New Yor ... zzzzz. Oh wait what huh sorry? Thank you for re-treading material that you guys have done far better before. I love New York too but I've had my fill.

4. Tinderbox
A great song! That's right I said it. I could've done without the repetitious lyrics but I'll take what I can get with this giant heap of album turd.
Extra: Click on the title of the song to listen to it.

5. And The House Fell Down
Hehe! A fun a little song. Wait ... you mean I like two songs in a row? Yeah okay blow me.
This could very well fit into a Disney-esque cartoon about a water buffalo with a coke and whore habit.
Extra: Click on the title of the song to listen to it.

6. Blues Never Fade Away
A touching tribute to bullshit. I love sentimental ass leakage don't you?

7. The Bridge
They probably should've pushed the producer/co-producer of this album from said bridge but I've changed my mind about this song.
The piano glitters and Elton's voice is strong in this song about making life's tougher decisions.
Extra: Click on the title of the song to listen to it.

8. I Must Have Lost It On The Wind
Sorry Elton but you've lost it with this album.

9. Old '67
Boy do I remember the 60's myself as well ... wait ... no I don't. Most of the folks who were around then don't either though.

10. The Captain And The Kid
Opens up with an instrumental piece from Elton's 1975 hit "Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy" (from the album of the same name) then collapses into melancholy.
This album gets a grand 3 out of 10 stars from me.
Sorry Reg.

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