Christopher Nolan Talks About "The Dark Knight"

Dear Constant Reader,

It's awesome interview time!
Today, WWTCK sits down with the director of "The Dark Knight", Christopher Nolan.

WWTCK:
Thank you for being here today.

CN:
You're very welcome.

WWTCK:
Heath Ledger.

CN:
Yes?

WWTCK:
Really dead or just a publicity stunt?

CN:
What?

WWTCK:
I'd have totally fucked him.

CN:
I really-

WWTCK:
(interrupting) Maggie Gyllenhaal. Talented actress, or fugly?

CN:
I um ... she's very talented.

WWTCK:
We all know that Michael Caine is British, so he must have a taste for small boys. How many cub scouts does the man who plays Alfred go through in a day?

CN:
Where did you say you were from again?

WWTCK:
How did you keep Morgan Freeman away from the craft service watermelon and chicken?

CN:
I don't-

WWTCK:
(whispered) He's a negro.

CN:
Pardon?

WWTCK:
Julia Robert's older, fatter, balder brother is in your film. Did the stench of her money, and his failure cause any disruptions on the set?

CN:
I think we're done.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Heath Ledger] [Dark Knight] [Batman] [Christian Bale] [Movies]
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A very bad, and sexy ad.

Dear Constant Reader,



Are women property?
We already know that the answer is a resounding "Yes!" because Jesus tells us so. And what happens when we don't listen to Jesus? We get killed.
The next time that I see this ad, I'm totally gonna buy myself a Brazillian bitch.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Google] [AdSense] [Makes] [Me] [Giggle]
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I Wonder+For Tom And Angel

Dear Constant Reader,

I wonder -since he's so into cars- if my roomie would like me to sneak into his room, and sodomize him with a steering rack?
I feel far more safe having nasty thoughts about this cocksucker since I found out that I'm moving into my own riverside apartment.
Tom, Angel? I smell a vacation for you guys.
Oh and Tom, Angel? I'll be back on Skype when I move into my new place, so we can rekindle our hot, steamy threesome.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Sodomy] [Is] [No] [Laughing] [Matter]
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Oh what a wondrous sight.

Dear Constant Reader,

Flash memory has allowed me to hang a photo over my desk that I will never forget.
We know that my roommate is a Nazi cocksucker (I have total proof of this), and now I have a framed photo of him falling down the stairs that hangs over my desk.
It rocks to enjoy his painful suffering.
Needless to say, the photo comes down when he's around.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Bad] [People] [In] [Pain] [Rocks]
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Camp and moving back to Selkirk

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm going to be a camp cook this week ... at a Baptist summer camp.
Que?
I'm perfectly sober, and have a sudden urge to babysit a bunch of idiot kids struggling with natural acne treatments that Jesus would completely approve of.
I'll be gone for a week, and then I'll be moving back to Selkirk. WOO!
I'm finally getting away from this crazy fucker!
Now I can masturbate without having to listen to people talking to Jesus.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Arthur] [Is] [Off] [To] [Camp]
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Psychology class explores paranormal phenomenon - Lagniappe

Psychology class explores paranormal phenomenon - Lagniappe

Riding The Treadmill To Poon Town

Dear Constant Reader,

I've not been home alot, but I've been getting far more pieces of ass than I should be allowed to. Barely legal college pussy is the best isn't it?
I don't intend to leave the treadmill to poon town anytime soon, and I hope it never stops.
Now, I'm going to go rub some cream on my rash and get back to the fucking.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Pussy] [Is] [Super] [Highly] [Awesome]
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Taking It Up The Basket

Dear Constant Reader,

Long time no talk, right?
I've been busy with school, and getting settled into my own place so I've not had much time to be online. Tom? Angel? I will be hooking up with you guys soon. Don't worry about me.
Ever since finding a place and finishing school, I've been getting a whole shitload of these wonderful little gift baskets from folks featuring all sorts of really neat shit.
It's nice to have people who care enough to send the very best ... or something like that.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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Some old, french woman

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm currently living with a french broad who is probably a lunatic. She also happens to suck a really mean dick.
Why is she a crazy?
She insists on wearing these oversized vintage sunglasses everywhere. Everywhere. She wears them in the way that I wear my hockey cap to take a shit.
Ugh.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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Me Not Wearing A Seatbelt

Dear Constant Reader,

I don't care how this is going to affect your drivers license or your car insurance, but I will never ever ever ever ever wear a fucking seatbelt.
The fact of the matter is that the fucking things don't save lives. They just don't, and it's not my fault that you're stupid enough to buy all the stupid fucking seatbelt hype.



Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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Since I can't have one ...

Dear Constant Reader,

People who think that the PS2 is the only gaming system that matter can pretty much chew on the hairiest part of my nutsac region.
I'm not attempting to say that they are mentally challenged, but I'm pretty much sure that they are.
Atari ROCKS!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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I've been looking for

Dear Constant Reader,

I've been looking for the best buy in a new television set.
Apparently, my sister is a whore who sold my TV, and now I'm forced to shop for a new one. My mother is an even bigger whore, but she's a whore that I still love. Okay, now that we've established that I love (some) whores, we can move on ...

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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So I'm Gathering

Dear Constant Reader,

Denial is the most fun that people can have without shoving their things into other peoples things.
My sister is still trying to sell me on the fact that my brother is doing very well in drug rehab, but we also know that she's an idiot.
My brother is going to die on the streets, and I can't wait for that glorious day.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [My] [Brother] [Is] [A] [Dildo]
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We already know

Dear Constant Reader,

We already know that only fags and really fat women need diet pills, so why do diet pills seem to be so popular? There cannot be that many tubby chicks and turd pushers in the world is there?
I've lost 90 pounds by just eating right and doing a whole helluva lot more walking. I refuse to believe that I need to shove pills down my throat in order to look even more fuckable than I already am.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Diet] [Pills] [Are] [For] [Pansies]
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A sure sign that you're demon posessed

Dear Constant Reader,

Monday: Perfectly healthy skin.
Tuesday: You're chugging or slathering yourself in the nearest available acne treatments.
Wednesday: Still having problems
Thursday: Still having problems
Friday: Hopefully no problems
Saturday: Rush to the hospital kinda problems. If I'm lucky
Sunday: Start asking Jesus for help

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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Creepy Creepy Creepy

Dear Constant Reader,

I applied for a job today, and the person that I was interviewed by was too drunk to even stand up. I'm not sure why he was drunk, but I guess it's how he chooses to get through his work day.
School continues, the job hunt continues, and my desire to get out of this fucking house continues.
Oh, and I appear to be doing very well in school.
I still rule.
I can't wait to get drunk, felt up, and fucked at the graduation party.
I'm gonna go take my Anoretix, and jerk-off myself to sleep.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [Lord] [I] [Wish] [It'd] [Rain]
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It Truly Is A Shame

Dear Constant Reader,

It truly is a shame that none of the exercise equipment in this home is tiny enough to throw at the lughead that uses it.
The only positive thing I can say about this person is that I still get far more pussy than he does.
You do realize that I'm not bragging, right?
I rule!

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I] [still] [Get] [More] [Pussy]
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So This Is The Kind Of Thing I'm Talking About

Dear Constant Reader,

My landlord/caretaker/whatever-the-hell owns one of those luxury watches that you are forced to shove up your bum when driving through a sketchy neighborhood, and he never seems to have any money to buy cigarettes.
I've been - am I too kind - helping him out when things get low, and he still thinks that I don't offer enough to the household.
It's not just cigarettes, and cash.
I give of the love that Jesus has for me, and isn't that more than cash and cigarettes could ever be?

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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Dead Fun In The Tub

Dear Constant Reader,

I do love living in a house that has a walk in tub, but I would also enjoy not living with someone that's obsessed with constantly making Jesus happy. Does Jesus really need a fanclub? Does he have that small of a fucking ego?
At least I can still listen to Pink Floyd, and imagine that I'm actually living in a house where people are normal.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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Your Spoon, My Butt: Let's Do Lunch

Dear Constant Reader:

MK will signify the son of the jerkoff I'm living with, and a conversation we had the other day.

Me: Do you have a spoon?
MK: Why?
Me: Because you're going to need something to eat my ass.
MK: Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
Me: Trust me when I tell you you're not that important.

I had been pouring over ways to get some debt relief from the mess my mother left me in, and this asshead simply pushed me in the wrong goddamn direction.
My buttons are very close to the surface lately.

Arthur
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Technorati Tags: [I'm] [Feeling] [Very] [Lonely] [Today]
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