Nearly a year ago ...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Dear Constant Reader,

Nearly a year ago I had this conversation with some kind of religious twat, and apparently this person still has my fucking contact information.
They got ahold of me just a few minutes ago, and this is the conversation :
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Them: GUESSSSSSSSSSS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Me not remembering them.

Them: i cam to yourt blog again!11
Me:A lot of people come to reading my blog. It's a sexy blog.
Them: YTAOURE STILL STUPDI!!!
Me: Okay so now you're calling me stupid, and you can't even spell a couple of very simple words?
Them: jesus lvoes you
Me: He does what now?
Them: LOVE S YOU STUPID! YOUR SO BLIND!!!1
Me: That's cause I jerk off an awful lot. Didn't your mother ever tell you what excessive self touching does?

Me suddenly remembering them, and wondering how the hell they still had my Skype information.

Me: Have you ever been cornholed by a Canadian?

20 minutes later ...

Them: HWAT!?!?!?!!?
Me: Have ... you ... ever ... been ... cornholed ... by ... a ... Canadian?
Them: What is gcornholde?
Me: I'm not sure what "gcornholde" is ... you tell me
Them: CORNHOLED! WHAT AIS THAT?! YOU SAID IT!?!
Me: It would involve you bending over my kitchen table, me pulling down your pants and me making sure that won't shit right for a week.
Them: WHAT!?
Me: Hey you spelled "what" right! Have a cookie bitch!
Them: DO YOY KNOW JESUS!
Me: He'z tyte dawg!
Them: WHART?!
Me: Um ... warts? I think you spelled "what" wrong ... give me back my cookie motherfucker.
Them: YOU AHVE BAD>!
Me: Que?
Them: WHAT?!
Me: No habla espanol
Them: YOU'RE AHABLA WHATEVER YHTAT MEANS!?
Me: I need to get on with my life ... same time next year?
Them: FUCK YOU I'M VCHRISTNA I KNOW JEUSSE AND YOU DON'T !11! EAT SHIT IN HELD!
Me: So I take it that this is a "No" to the violent kitchen table type sodomy?
Them: FUCK YOU IA BOCLOCKED YOU!?
Me: Awww.
Them: I BLOCKCED YOU I CAN'T SEER WHAT YOUR SAYING! AHAHAHHAHAHA BURNE NIN HELL!!!
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This guy is taking all the wrong kinds of drugs.
Time for me to crawl into my cat bed, and get myself some serious masturbation time.

Arthur
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