I Can Hear The Deepest Of Phony

Friday, March 30, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Don't you love when someone is just bald-faced jerk and someone just corrects them in front of everyone?
There are very cool people in this world who can smell a stupid person like a Littman stethoscope can detect a freakin' heart murmur and just toast that person on the spot.
That's what I really enjoy watching.
It happened tonight with this person on BlogTV who's been harassing me.
They decided to come into a room where everyone loves me to death and try their game.
It promptly went and blew up in their face.
They came to the wrong picnic to mess with me and it was so wondrous.
I love my blogtv peeps!
I also loving using the word "peeps".

Arthur
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Him lives in Orlando becuz it'z sunny?

Dear Constant Reader,

Okay so I don't live in a fancy Orlando condos but does that make me less important than someone else who does?
I got this email today from a reader :

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Art,
your post about job snobbery I think ur wrong
Peple no that those who work @ mcdick's ain't all that important.
I have a house in Orlando becuz I dont work at mcdick's

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Wow and I thought I ranted insanely on this blog
This is exactly what I'm talking about when I talk about snobbery between the have's and havenot's.
Does anyone believe this guy could get a job anywhere BUT McDonald's though?
Okay now I'm being the snob.

Arthur
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"Hey look at me be a fruit"

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

A video of the best thing on earth :



Arthur
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Getting Stupid Things In The Mail Rocks

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm on a cranky streak aren't I?
Last week I received a calender and two of those advertising pens that my parents had 8,677 of when I was a kid.
I was actually shocked with the pens worked. I was even more shocked that the calender was dated 2006.
If you people are going to send me things that I don't want then please make sure that they are things that I might be able to use.
The pens were great but the calender was as useless as boobs on a ceramic cow in a a New Delhi inspired eatery. That sure beats the expression "tits on a bull" don't it?

Arthur
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My Job Then Was Better Than Your Job Now

Dear Constant Reader,

I actually heard this come out of someones mouth.
Apparently if you work in Telecom Consulting that means that you contribute more than the dude that's flipping burgers.
This would be true if we could eat delicious, deep fried telephones.
I'm so tired of the snobbery that goes on between people who work at 7-11 and people who work at a bank.
I'd much rather associate with the register jockey than the pinstripe dork who gets snooty when I ask for a money order. Doesn't he realize that some of us actually use something other than the Gold Card that our daddy gave us to make purchases?
Say hello to the person behind the desk the next time you're at McDonald's (and smile) because not only does their job make them a nicer person it makes them more fun to be around in the long run.

Arthur
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Hey Everyone Look At Me!

Dear Constant Reader,

Look at me, I need attention, I'm needy!
This is what I've begun to think that the people who have an address plaque are thinking.
I cannot think of a reasonable reason why (unless you live at the end of a freaking wooded road) you'd need to put one of these things on your house.
Are you afraid that you're not going to stick out from your slummy neighbor who only has simple numbers on his house?
Give it yup you people cause we know where you live ... and we really don't care.
If you live in the suburbs there's no need to announce your address in footlong letters with sparkly lights.

Arthur
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Furniture Shopping - Into The Void

Dear Constant Reader,

So I'm sitting here in the midst of the Powell furniture website imagining what brought me to shopping for furniture online in the first place.
I realize that I'm far too lazy to actually get into a vehicle, drive to a store and not have to just imagine my butt in a fancy recliner.
But it's not just me boys and girls!
We're all becoming adept at being lazy people.
There's actually a man selling a product that will help Tim Horton's customers roll up the rim to win. What the hell?
You should be walking instead of reading my ranting but I'm very glad that you're not.

Arthur
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My Caretaker Is A Friggen Fool

Dear Constant Reader,

My caretaker is the world's biggest idiot.
Had I not started taking notes about the things that I want to blog about I would've completely forgotten to tell this story.
Last weekend my caretaker was in the backyard being an idiot when a ladder rack fell on him.
Now normally I find accidents like this funny but this was kinda just sad.
He has a violent drinking problem which I find hilarious because I have zero sympathy for drug addicts and alcoholics.
I wonder how many more things are gonna have to fall on him before he realizes that he shouldn't be drinking anymore?

Arthur
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I'm Sortin' My Coins Out, I'm Getting Them All Sorted Out

Dear Constant Reader,

My 300th post (the one below this) passed by without any fanfair of any freaking kind so let's celebrate THIS post shall we?
Lemme celebrate by telling you how I spent my evening.
In between playing the new Nintendo dealy I cracked out the old coin sorter.
I managed to round up nearly $57 dollars in change. Which I believe is $1.45 in the States.
Nothing rocks my nights more than seeing how many cheeseburgers I can buy with the coins that fell under every stick of furniture in the friggen house.

Arthur
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You learn something every single day

Dear Constant Reader,

Did you know what EMI Shielding was?
Neither did I.
It seems that we learn something even when we don't want to learn anything at all.
Recently I bought myself a Nintendo GameCube and had no idea that I could actually play a sports game and not put myself to sleep.
What I would like to hear from my readers is what have you learned about yourself or something else in the past week that you never thought you would ever learn before.
I'm anxious to hear about your education in the world.

Arthur
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Spring Preparations

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Now that the water is starting to roll down the street it's time to get our covered porch/sitting area ready for us to watch the world go by on.
The first step is to drag some outdoor furnishings out of storage.
This is something that would be a whole heck of a lot easier if we hadn't agreed to let our caretaker store some sectional sofas at the front of the storage sheds.
We've called him and we're still waiting for him to get down here to take care of things that shouldn't be our concern in the first place.
Hopefully the rest of the spring season will be better than it's starting.

Arthur
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Aaron and Rodness Are Rock Stars

Friday, March 23, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Aaron and Rodness show us how gay two straight men can be together in the same vehicle in today's BlogTV.ca clip :



These guys are just too cool for school and I'd totally wrassle them both.

Arthur
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Cary, North Carolina

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Dear Constnat Reader,

I get an average of 15-20 visitors from North Carolina per week.
One place the visitor's tend to come from is "Cary".
I know little of the place but those who rest themselves on Cary NC real estate seem to be some of my most avid reaaders.
I find this little statistic amusing to me and wonder what it is about me that brings the folks in that area tumbling in.
Is there something about me that reminds me of them?
I'd like to hear from my North Carolina readers about what they think about this blog.

Arthur
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Sitting In A Chatroom, Watching All The Goofs Go By

Dear Constant Reader,

Being devoted to one's psychic life is not a challenge to be taken lightly.
The first thing that you're going to experience is people who believe that their Christian gifts trump yours and that you're probably headed to Hell.
I was giving a friend of mine a reading in a chat room when one of these Christian's piped up that my "witchcraft was devil work".
I've never worshipped the Devil (God beat him to me) and I don't practice witchcraft so where exactly does this fundamentalist get off?
Let us go along with the idea that there is a God in the Heaven's and that everything is right with the world. Had it occured to any of them that God gave me the abilities that I have? Has it even occurred to them that God wants me to tell them something that they cannot find in the bible?
The only thing I did was slam the ignore button on this person and hope that they would realize that not everything can be found in faith. Sometimes it takes a belief in a little magic.

Arthur
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That's Me In The Spotlight

Dear Constant Reader,


Catholic gifts
are the kinds of things that you find pressed between the pages of the family bible and not in the bible itself.
My mother dragged out an old rosary that was my grandmothers and asked me if I wanted it.
I gave up religion a long time ago but as I touched this pair of beads I could instantly sense my grandmother there with me.
My grandmother would probably be irritated at the fact that I gave up Jesus for other things and I wonder if she'd actually want me to have this item.
The only thing that I know is that I don't want my other siblings to have it.
That may sound greedy but I have never clutched a rosary this hard since I was a child.

Arthur
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Ooh La Las Vegas

Dear Constant Readers,

I've been playing more poker than I should lately and it's gotten me to thinking about taking a weekend trip to Las Vegas.
I could completely seeing myself zooming through the warm desert air, past those Las Vegas luxury condos and into the city where you can ruin your life.
I'm not a person who's easily dazzled but I could see myself blowing my life savings on a single hand of blackjack. And that's not a feeling that I dislike.
I'm not becomging destructive I'm merely thinking about disappearing for a weekend into the city that keeps it's secrets.
There is word that buried around the city are the folks that aggrivated the old-timey mobsters and for a paranormal investigator this could be more than an a fascinating experience.
I wouldn't be taking the current love of my life because a 31 year old man should be able to experience everything that the city has to offer before getting dragged by the hair down the aisle.

Arthur
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Some of you maybe, some of you not so much

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I was thinking about my father.
Some of you will know that my father had a stroke when I was a kid and I rarely saw him again after that.
You want to know the weird part?
The only memory that I have from those days is my Aunt Rosalie's motorcycle sunglasses.
The memories that I attempted to conjure of my father resulted in me only remembering that my Aunt left a pair of sunglasses on our kitchen table and my unstable sister took them for their own.
You would think that I would have better memories than this and it makes me wonder what I'm not wanting to remember.

Arthur
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Would Anybody Watch?

Dear Constant Reader,

If I were to start my own TV show (in my wily feminine voice and hockey cap) would anybody here actually watch me putzing it up like the putz that I am?
Would my clowning around amuse you in some meaningful way?
Everybody with a computer seems to be starting up some sort of blog or webcast and I'm considering taking this leap myself.
It would probably be a combination of me doing readings for people, ranting about shit that nobody cares about (which I do already!) and me look bearded and tired.
I make myself sound so attractive don't I?
You'd be surprised that I get any action in the sack at all.

Arthur
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My Doctor And I

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm seriously thinking that my doctor and I should get engaged.
Because of my ailments I've been seeing more of her than I've been seeing of anyone else and it's starting to aggrivate me.
I know that she's trying to help but that she'd rather be swinging golf clubs than lifting my hood.
I can only assume that all this medicine she has me pouring down my throat is going to help me in some deep, meaningful way.
It had better or I give the hell up.

Arthur
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I Love Me Some AMC

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Dear Constant Readers,

American Movie Classics rocks my socks off.
I've been lounging around the house today, enjoying some of my favorite cinema classics.
There's nothing like a good movie network to transport you from a spooky old mansion to Tuscany villas and all in a matter of a couple of films.
Right now I'm watching the 1990 Rob Reiner adaptation of Stephen King's novel "Misery" and adoring Kathy Bates and James Caan to death.
Today is a chilling-out day for me and I hope that the same goes for you.

Arthur
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Watching Someone Go Completely Crackers Rocks!

Dear Constant Reader,

There's a show over at blogtv.ca called The Bronx Show where each day a severe drama queen completely loses his shit.
He loves calling the visitors to his room his "family" and is constantly at some level of drama or another.
I'm quite sure that we're going to see him blow his brains out live one of these days because it's obvious that he's not getting the psychiatric help that he needs. And that rocks!
Does that make me sound mean? I don't think it does at all. If the people who come into his room were really his "family" they would get the crazy dude some help.
Here's a video of this crazy person being creepy and weird :


Arthur
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The High Cost Of Funerals

Dear Constant Reader,

When my father passed away the one thing that kept him from having the funeral that he wanted was the total lack of funeral insurance.
The passing of a loved one can be stressful enough without all the extra expenses so I'm telling you readers right now that it's time to consider these things.
Whether it's for you or a loved one you need to prepare for the fact that all of us will pass and those who are left are going to be caught with the expense of giving you a proper farewell.

Arthur
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Some Kelly And Brent Love

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

If you haven't seen Kelly & Brent (or Brent & Kelly, aka The Hobbit & The Showgirl) on BlogTV.ca yet here's my favorite clippage of the day :



Arthur
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I'm violently depressed today

Friday, March 16, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I had several appointments today and I've cancelled them all so that I could sit on the computer all day and depressed.
Absolutely nothing interests me and I have no clue how to get out of this funk.
I rescheduled all appointments until Monday so hopefully things will be better then.
If not then I suppose I could hope for a plane to fly in the house. It's the only option since I'm too chicken to put a gun in my mouth.
Even when good things happen to me it quickly turns to shit.
I thought that I was used to this sad truth but sadly I'm not.
Chain smoking and staring at the wall are my plans for the weekend ... and you?

Arthur
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All About The Pills - Here We Go Again

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

A viewer at blogtv.ca came to see my blog a moment ago and read my post about me on a diet.
He gave me some great information about diet pills.
I've already said that I haven't yet decided that I'm going to try diet pills but for someone like me it could be a great option.
I will keep my readers tuned in as to whether I go the diet pill route or try something else.
Regardless of what I choose to do I know that I need to use some weight.
Stay tuned!

Arthur
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Big Boy

Dear Constant Reader,

Some of you might know that I've started seeing a dietitian so that I can make myself even sexier than Milton Berle.
It's not been going well but it's been going better than I expected.
I have considered hunting down the best diet pills that I can find and doing it that way but I still haven't thought seriously about it.
I'm not on a diet because *drumroll* DIET'S DON'T WORK!.
This is a little factoid that came straight from a dietitian's mouth.
Didn't hear it the first time?
DIETS DON'T WORK!!!
So if you're on one now (unless it's of a nature that is keeping you alive) then you need to look into other ways of slimming down.

Arthur
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Connie's Doggie

Dear Constant Reader,

The woman whom I love has a dog that is going to be moving in with us.
It's a giant golden retriever with breath that could kill but love the woman and you're supposed to love the dog right?
Today we're going to be shopping for pet supplies and since it's been awhile since I've owned a pet I'm gonna be freakin' clueless.
I know that I'll be lost amidst a sea of beds, chew toys and other paraphernalia that is overpriced and may go unused.
It amazes me what a guy will do for love.

Arthur
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Dirty Dirty Water

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm a nut for fresh drinking water.
I also have a firm belief that our tap water is jammed with crap that is eventually going to kill more people than smoking.
If I can't have a bottle of water (which okay I don't know what they put in that either) then I keep a water bottle filter on my bottle of tap water to keep out the evil cooties.
I'm not entirely sure how anybody could drink freaking tap water without taking precautions. It's gross.

Arthur
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Surfin' And Thinkin'

Dear Constant Readers,

Okay I know that I promised lots of blogging yesterday but life comes up right?
So here I am surfing a North Carolina furniture site in an attempt to re-decorate our home and making a wishlist of all the new things that we'll need.
One of the things that I adore about the 'net is that I can save myself from having to go to stores and deal with employees who really don't a freakin' thing about the store they work at.
If you're going to hire a 17 year old blonde chick you cannot expect that they'll be giving their customers good customer service.
It's not rocket science people!

Arthur
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I'm a bad bad man

Monday, March 12, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I've been ignoring my readers, ignoring my blog, ignoring my friends and so much more. Is there even a reasonable excuse for that?
Well here's a couple things that have happened since the last time I did any serious blogging :
1. I asked Connie to marry me and she said "yes".
2. I've been watching BlogTV.ca far too much.
3. I've been having too much sex.
4. I've been getting more sleep than I ever have in my life.
5. I still have an ear infection.

So that's how my week has been.
Tonight is all about tons of blogging so be prepared to read your arses off.

Arthur
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An AWESOME Internet TV Show! - UPDATED AGAIN

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

It's the craziest fun I've ever witnessed online.
Jmon and his hummer crew do an amazing all-night show on blogtv.ca that you cannot miss.
It's a live webcam show on the streets of Toronto that will keep you hooked.
I've been watching for hours now and I cannot stop watching.
Visit them, come on into the chatroom and get hooked up with the best web show ever.
These guys blow my mind.
The show can be found here : http://www.blogtv.ca/People/Jmon
Kelly and Jay are the best!
The only other crazy/good host is Brent.
Brent, Kelly, Jay, Pink Power Ranger ... you guys ROCK!!!

Arthur
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Woman in vegetative state awakes, slips - but still the Lord gets thanks?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

God is apparently a tease.
He was nice enough to let a woman out of her brocoli state of mind and then he decides to put her back :

Woman in vegetative state awakes, slips
March 7, 2007 06:43:18 PM PST

A woman who went into a vegetative state in November of 2000 awoke this week for three days, spoke with her family and a local television station before slipping back on Wednesday. "I'm fine," Christa Lilly told her mother on Sunday — her first words in eight months. She has awakened four other times for briefer periods.

"I think it's wonderful. It makes me so happy," Lilly told television station KKTV-TV. She also got to see youngest daughter, Chelcey, now 12 years old, and three grandchildren.

Her neurologist, Dr. Randall Bjork, said he couldn't explain how or why she awoke.

"I'm just not able to explain this on the basis of what we know about persistent vegetative states," he said.

A vegatative state is much like a coma except her eyes remain open.

"The good Lord let me know she's alright, he brings her back to visit every so often and I'm thankful for that," said Minnie Smith, her mother and caregiver after Christa slipped back into the vegetative state.

Arthur
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Oh My Mold In Heaven

Monday, March 05, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

We live in a house that has a mold problem. It's nothing severe but it's enough to have made us sick.
I was browsing around looking for some more information when I came across NJ Mold Remediation. It was here that I got plenty of helpful insight into the problem that we've been dealing with since we moved into this place.
We've already decided that we're going to be moving from this house in the spring and it cannot come fast enough for us.

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This post is brought to you by itsmymarket.com
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Arthur
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In Desperate Need Of A Desk

Friday, March 02, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

I was browsing around at Coaster Furniture this morning in an attempt to find myself a new desk.
I could probably make do with a used one but I feel like treating myself to something stylish and elegant.
I want a workstation that I can sit behind and feel like the CEO of my living room.
I'm sure I'll spend the next few weeks obsessing over what kind of desk I'll eventually get.
I do know that it has to be able to hold a lot of junk without groaning about the whole affair.
I also know that I want something that will be an investment and not just a piece of furniture.

Arthur
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My Old Uncle

Dear Constant Reader,

A few years ago my Uncle retired to Orlando and lives in one of those awesome Orlando Pool Homes.
He's invited me out there this summer for a couple of days and I'm seriously chewing on going.
The thing that I want to see most (besides my Uncle of course) is Disney World.
My father did some animation for them in the 60's but Disney World is the one place we never went to when I was a child.
Perhaps I'm just a big kid at heart but I can't wait to hit the teacup ride.
The thing is that I'm not entirely sure what else I should see.
I realize that Orlando doesn't revolve around the big "D" and there must be something else to do there while I'm visiting.

Arthur
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My Computer Has A First Name It's S-L-O-W

Dear Constant Reader,

I've been toying with the idea of either getting a laptop or getting more computer memory for the machine that I currently have.
I don't really have a need for a laptop but I definately need to give my current baby a pick-me-up.
What I'd like to know is which is a better investment? Would it be a laptop that has the memory I need or would it be just getting more memory for the computer that I already have?
If there's anyone out there who could share with me the pro's and con's of laptop ownership and their thoughts on upgrading one's memory I'd love to hear them.

Arthur
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An Interview With ... Me

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I thought I would let my readers know a little bit more about myself ... by myself ... er ... yeah.
I sat down with myself and asked myself the following questions that I found on Blog Talkers :

Me : Do you sing/dance in the house when you’re alone? If so, what to in particular?

Myself : I'm so rarely alone that I don't get much of a chance for even inappropriate touching.

Me : Touching?

Myself : Next question please

Me : What gift have you received in life that is most precious?

Myself : My testicles are huge!

Me : What?!

Myself : See?

Me : Those are big

Myself : Yup!

Me : What 5 things would you take to a show and tell to a kindergarten class?

Myself : Listen I might have been Catholic once but not anymore so if you're implying ...

Me : No ... I'm not ... let's move on

Myself : Good

Me : You know so far you haven't really told your readers anything about yourself

Myself : I told them I have a gigantic nutsac

Me : Do you think they really needed to know that?

Myself : Probably not ... but so far that's one thing they didn't know about me before

Me : Good point

Myself : Thank you

Me : What do you feel most guilty about?

Myself : I had a very good friend for about 15 years which was half my life and I regret losing that relationship because of how I behaved and I still miss her very much

Me : What did you do?

Myself : I wouldn't stop showing her my gigantic nutsac

Me : Can we please get off your nutsac?

Myself : Believe me if you were on my nutsac buddy you'd know it ... it's gigantic

Me : Can we move on?

Myself : If you'd stop talking about my gigantic nutsac yes

Me : But you ...

Myself : I what?

Me : Nothing ... What’s the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever witnessed, live?

Myself : Does the Bush administration count?

Me : Sure I guess

Myself : Alrighty

Me : If you could transport yourself back to any one moment in time of history when would it be?

Myself : Hmm ... probably the time of Jesus

Me : Why?

Myself : Who'd want to miss out seeing a dude nailed to two pieces of lumber?

Me : Yipes!

Myself : Indeed

Me : Why are people obsessed with the weather? And if you watch the Weather Channel, why?

Myself : I love The Weather Channel ... who the fuck needs a window when you've got that on! I don't know if people are so much obsessed with the weather I just think there's not a lot else on TV

Me : What are your favorite words and why?

Myself : I think George Carlin has a great list : shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits

Me : What album did you listen to most as a youngster and do you still have it?

Myself : The first real full album that I listened to and connected with was Elton John's 1992 album "The One" ... after I heard the title song for the first time I was an Elton John addict ... still am to some degree ... I was 16 at the time

Me : What’s the thing you fear most in life?

Myself : Death

Me : If you could do anything for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Myself : Stay in bed and have around the clock sex

Me : You are pretty hot

Myself : I know

Me : What one thing did you see or hear today that caught your attention?

Myself : My brother-in-law called again because his wife is a whore

Me : Pardon?

Myself : She's incapable of keeping her woman-junk to herself

Me : Oh ... What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

Myself : Hasn't happened yet

Me : What was your favorite book as a child and do you have a copy of it?

Myself : I loved the Dr. Seuss books ... especially "Green Eggs & Ham" which could explain my violent eating disorder which wasn't helped by an overbearing mother

Me : Um ... oh-kay ... If you could change the date of Christmas, when would you change it to?

Myself : I'd move Christmas to October 31st and Halloween to December 25th just to mess with the Christians

Me : If you could choose anyone in the world to be President of the USA who would it be?

Myself : Christopher Walken of course!

Me : What TV show do you remember most from your childhood and why?

Myself : Two shows : "Inspector Gadget" and a Canadian show called "S'Kiddle Bits" hosted by Joey Gregorash ... I'd come home for lunch at noon to watch it

Me : What would you like your life to be like in ten years?

Myself : Owning a bookstore with my gay partner who I met after getting sick of women's craziness

Me : Hmm ... When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Myself : A writer ... always a writer

Arthur
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The lady that I currently "love"

Dear Constant Reader,

Connie has asked me several times since we started "loving" each other to go to a Bed and Breakfast and I've been fighting it like mad.
It's not that I don't consider it a "guy thing" (whatever the heck that means) but I'm just not a B&B personality.
She wants to go so very badly though that I guess I'm going to have to crack and take her.
I was hoping to do it this weekend and I hope that the breakfast involves plenty of meat type products. The moment they serve me a slice of grapefruit I am so outta there.

Arthur
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Dirty Pogo & I Love My New Toy

Dear Constant Reader,

I was playing at Pogo today and during a game of Word Whomp Whackdown look at what four letters came up (in this order too!) during my game :



In other news ...
I've only had it for a couple of days but I'm in love with my new cellphone :



Ain't she a cutie?
I'll think I'll marry her and name her Linda.

Arthur
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Columbine Bomb Threat

Dear Constant Reader,

Oh those whacky Colorado folks are at it again.
Apparently some goofy bugger threatened to blow up America's safest school with some type of go-boom dealy.
This is what American's get for electing (or believing they elected) Bush and Cheney.
I'm joking of course.
Jesus what kind of sick jerk jokes about a bomb threat?

from "The Seattle Post Intelligencer"
Thursday, March 1, 2007 · Last updated 10:45 a.m. PT

Columbine evacuated after bomb threat

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

LITTLETON, Colo. -- Columbine High School was evacuated Thursday after officials received at least one call about a bomb threat, authorities said.

Jefferson County Sheriff's spokeswoman Jacki Kelley said students were being taken to a nearby park while bomb squads and dogs searched the school. Eight years ago, Columbine was the site of the nation's deadliest school massacre when two students opened fire on their classmates.

Read More : Columbine evacuated after bomb threat

Arthur
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I'm Afraid ... Very Afraid

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm afraid to go into my backyard anymore.
My carektaker has been using it (since we've lived here) to dump his various junked up car parts.
He's not supposed to do this but complaining has done us no good.
There's an abundance of muffler's, carburators, windsheilds and even an old van rack.
Since he only has one vehicle and nobody likes him what the hell is doing with these car parts?
I went to take the trash out last night and nearly nosedived into a muffler.
There are supposed to be rules about this but (and I'm only making an accusation here) I assume the rules don't pertain to him.

Arthur
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Another Store Closes ... Again

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm not entirely sure what causes folks to re-open up a store that failed in the same location that it was went it flopped. Hubris is too kind of a word so let's go for stupidity shall we?
Our local Radio Shack is closing again after only being re-opened for less than a year. Bad for them but good for my way down hidden geek.
I'm going to beading down there and joining in the going out of business fray like some kind of predator.
I'm going to literally purchase myself to death ripping video games, some much needed HDMI cable, handheld games and many more goodies that I probably don't need.
This may make me a bad person but I kind of like the idea of saving money on the backs of someone elses' failure.
I guess I am a bad person.
Oh ... well

Arthur
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Severe Weather A-Coming ...

Dear Constant Reader,

Watching CNN can be a scary experience.
If it's not Bush it's Anna Nicole. Could they find two more individuals crepier than that to devote an entire day to?
The other thing that they are riding around the news room today is the tornado in Caulfield, Missouri that killed a 7 year old girl.
There are some that would say that even more bad weather (as well as possibly Jesus) are coming and that we may all get sucked into the tenth level of Hell.
Before I start shouting apocolypse though I think I'll continue to enjoy life with a couple of disaster kits at my side.
I'm not expecting the world to end but I do suspect that the world's weather is going to get worse.
I'm all about being prepared but not panicky about things.

Arthur
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DNA and Anna

Dear Constant Reader,

I was watching the news today and there continues to be a fight over who's the father of Anna Nicole Smith's little girl.
After all the proper DNA has been handed over to whatever DNA testing services get their hands on everything they need ... who do you think is going to be the father?
Anna Nicole has had quite a history with men so this is going to be like a regular lottery for an awful lot of guys.
It's a shame that her lifestyle has led to this little girl being used like a prize to whomever is her dad but hopefully she'll end up with someone who cares more about her and less about the money.

Arthur
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Southern Comfort

Dear Constant Reader,

There seems to be this myth that the folks down south are less metropolitan and just a tad scary at times.
I have friends (and family) who own blue ridge real estate and they are some of the coolest people that I know.
Why are there so many misconceptions about the south?
I suppose that movies like "Deliverance" don't help.
Today I would like to hear from my down south readers about the joys of their lives and I'd like them to share the myths about the south that bother them the most.

Arthur
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Holy wow yipes

Dear Constant Reader,

Recently I came across a site called "Fundies Say The Darnest Things" and oh my holy wow!
Here's a sampling of the kinds of things that Christians pull out of their ass :

"Well then imagine a world without religion, great huh? Wrong!!...Because then tomorrow I could come kill your family, your pets, your friends, and likely you; and then myself..guess what, NO REPERCUSSIONS...yes, thanks to you I can kill everybody.....thanks for the help buddy.....everybody go kill everybody else...whoever's left wins!!..."

TalesoftheGoldMonk, Imdb [Comments (30)] [2007-Feb-28]

o
"No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims."

Trinidad and Tobago, CARM [Comments (174)] [2006-Oct-01]

o
"there is no reasoning with people who refuse to accept His Truth. I've seen many angry atheists in my time..most of them have admitted to experimentation with perversions like drug abuse homosexuality witchcraft and trying to dye their skin..

You can offer them the Truth and they will deny it, they want to remain willfully ignorant they want to run from Him. Remember...they have made the jump from believing a God-->no god...on top of believing fairy tails and pseudoscientific theories..

History has shown the true danger of being absent of God..the nazis were the greatest atheistic threat modern society has ever faced. We saw what darwinism was capable of..but ultimately good will prevail. They can run and deny, but only they wil have to answer to their chosen savior...Satan..."

Trinidad and Tobago, CARM [Comments (16)] [2007-Feb-27]

o
Actually Creationism has about 6,000,000 times more evidence supporting it than Holocaustianity does....

Holocaustianity is definitely one of the most irrational and fanatical belief systems."

Defensor Fidei, FSTDT Forums [Comments (18)] [2007-Feb-28]

o
"[On James Cameron's documentary claiming to have found caskets containing Jesus and his family.]

I've already advised the Discovery Channel that if they air this I will cancel my subscription....they should be lucky that I don't strap explosives around my waste.
"

John, Time blog [Comments (51)] [2007-Feb-28]

o
"Another game atheists play
We don't buy the fact that atheists believe that God is imaginary. Do atheists complain about:

1) The Big bad wolf? No.
2) Scylla and Charybdus? No.
3) Sightings of Mary that one poster here keeps bringing up? No.
4) Darth Vader? No.
5) The wicked witch of the West? No.
6) The Borg from Star Trek? No.

Nor any other wicked character they believe is fictious. Atheists don't criticize, judge, or curse the above characters nor would they if other people believed they were real. And they certainly don't feel threatened by the acts of the above characters as they feel about God's warnings about hell. Would they be threatened if we tell them that the big bad wolf is going to come and eat them up? No. Oh, they might lie for the sake of debate and claim they would be, but then they would look even more foolish. But they have told us they consider hell a threat."

Carico, CARM [Comments (59)] [2007-Feb-20]

o
"TO ALL: HOMOS, PERVERTS, QUEERS, FAGGOTS AND HESHES (AKA, GAYS)
PS. 94:16 WHO WILL RISE UP FOR ME AGAINST THE EVILDOERS ? OR WHO WILL STAND UP FOR ME AGAINST THE WORKERS OF INIQUITY?
___________________________________________________

TO SEE HOW A NORMAL HUMAN BEING BECOMES A PERVERTED SODOMITE>>>
PLEASE READ ROMANS CHAPTER ONE. JESUS WILL SAVE AND FORGIVE YOU, IF YOU WILL REPENT! LUKE: 13:3,5 PROVERBS 28:13.
FOR A FREE GOSPEL TRACT ENTITLED WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT THE SIN OF HOMOSEXUALITY,PLEASE FEEL FREE TO E MAIL ME.
PS/ SEE ALSO>>>> GEN.13:13 >>>> GEN: 19: 1>38
[more verses]

NOTE : IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH THIS, YOU ARE AN INTOLERANT, MEAN SPIRITED, BIGOTED, HATE MONGERING "BIBLEPHOBE" [emphasis original]"

Pastor Billy Ball, Pam's House Blend [Comments (43)] [2007-Feb-16]
o

There is plenty more of this scariness at : FSTDT.
I'm not sure how they capture all these quotes from all the sites but good job!

Arthur
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