Another year passes I head back to my past

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

As we approach another year I find myself thinking not about the future but about when I was in high school. I'm 31 now so you do the math.
I began to think about my best buds and all the great times we had.
I do believe there is nothing more powerful than growing up together. The people of your youth are (I hope) the people that you will remember for the rest of your life.
Sam, Michael, Derek, Robert, Lenore, Sally, Cheryl, Benji, Roger, Brenda, Shawn, Jamie, Cameron (from my city days) and the entire staff and student body of St. Anne School (from my country life) you guys are the ones that I remember the most and I hope that each and every one of you are stepping into the new year with at least a smile in your hearts.
You taught me how to laugh, how to fight, how to love, how to get stoned, how to enjoy good music and how to be happy.
I miss you guys so much and I loved each of you in the same and in different ways.
Here's one for you :
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High School Nights - Dave Edmunds

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Arthur
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A little New Year's Eve blog clean-up and update ...

Dear Constant Reader,

Just want to let you know of some changes for the blog.
First off I've wiped clean my favorite blog's list to only include those who are posting regularly. Which means that if they've posted in December their blog stays.
I've removed the webcam permanately for many reasons the most of which is I don't like the company that offers the service.
I've left the Misc. Links section as it is and added a new link (right on top of the blog) for people to sign up for Snoozesters wake-up call service.
Everything else is basically the same.
If you'd like your blog to be on my favorites list then leave a comment on this post and I shall take a peek see. If it rocks my socks then it's added. Pretty simple huh?
I'd also like to add that I've had 4,354 visitors since the blog launched which may not seem like a lot to some but it's cool by me! It tells me that people are actually reading the babble that I spew.
I should also state that this blog has gone from a Google PR0 to Google PR4 since it started and I think that's pretty good too for some rambling Canadian clown don't you? This also let's me know that people are wandering around my blog and taking notice.
The coolest thing I've added?
A streaming radio station featuring some of my favorite artists. Just click the little play button when the player loads and boom there's 200 (more to come!) great songs by some of the all time greats. Just push play and groove to some tunes while reading the blog.
Don't like the current song? Just click the next album cover on the right side to skip to the next tune.
Not happy with the current set of tunes? Just refresh the blog and voila a new mix is created.
Where else can you hear Patsy Cline, Kiss, Peter Gabriel and Barry Manilow in one mix?

Enjoy!

Arthur
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A Wake Up Call Service ... THAT WORKS!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

If you find yourself as irritated by the alarm clock as I do then it's time for you to check out this awesome wake-up call service from Snoozester.com.
You can schedule either a one time wake-up call or recurring calls and never have to worry about sleeping in again.
Signing up takes mere minutes and after you received your verification phone call (to verify your number) you can begin setting up wake-up calls immediately. There's no fuss and/or muss when using this wonderful service.
The customer service folks are really quick to respond to any of your needs and won't treat you like just another customer. They're a friendly and efficient when handling all of your needs.
What about the cost you ask?
You get ten free calling credits (1 credit=1 call) when you first sign up and you can purchase more for a very low price. You can either get 30 calling credits for $4.99 or 60 call credits for just $9.98. That's a very good deal in my book! Keep in mind that you can also earn credits via their awesome referral service as well!
But it gets even better:
If you're the owner of a company who's tired of having employee's sleeping in when they should be punching in then they also have a corporate wake-up service as well. You can make sure that your employees get to work on time with Snoozester's corporate wake-up call service. Neat huh?!
So what are you waiting for people?
There is absolutely no reason why you should ever have to be late for work, a lunch date or an appointment ever again. Signing up with Snoozester is not only easy but it's fast and a great deal!
You can also get gift certificates for the nappers in your life so that your loved one never sleeps in again.
I could go on all day about this service but you need to try it for yourself!
Head on over to Snoozester.com today and throw away that annoying little alarm clock in your life.

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This post is brought to you by
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Arthur
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The FULL Video Of Saddam Being Whacked

Dear Constant Reader,

YAY!
Wow this is just like Christmas!
First it was Michael Jackson kissing and touching James Brown's corpse like he was not the Godfather Of Soul but a 12 year old cub scout but now it's this!
Enjoy!
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And for no reason whatsoever :

James Brown - "Sex Machine"

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Arthur
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I wanna see the whole video!

Dear Constant Reader,

Nothing gets me going more than an execution video and the video of Saddam getting strung up by his neck hairs would be the mother of them all would it not?
I've seen the video of them wrapping the cloth around his neck and slapping on the noose but then ... it stops!
It wouldn't be as touching as "Free Willy" or other fine family films but darnit!
CNN will spend all afternoon covering the death of James "high on God" Brown but won't show us this other lunatic swinging in the wind? Heathens!
If you haven't seen anything from the hanging then here's a little video from Arab TV :
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Partial video of Saddam Hussein execution in Baghdad on 30/12/2006, on Arab Tv Channel.

A fun aftermath photo :


A supposed video of his body afterwards :


The people of Iraq celebrate :

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Arthur
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"Pet Sounds" Ohmygosh

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I recieved my latest shipment of CD's from Columbia House and one of them was the classic Beach Boys album "Pet Sounds".
I'm halfway through this album now and this is unlike any album I've ever heard before. I had known that this was considered a "classic" album but had never owned a copy till now. And now I'm glad I do.
The songs (in beautifully mixed stereo) flow so naturally into each other and Brian Wilson's production is !#$%^& jaw dropping.
I've always loved classic rock (it's all I can really stand to listen to) but this bloody album goes beyond classic. The best album ever made perhaps? I don't know but I am absolutely mesmorized.
My favorite tracks (so far) are : "Wouldn't It Be Nice", "I'm Waiting For The Day", "Sloop John B", and "God Only Knows". The first and last choices may be super obvious but I had never really heard them the way they were meant to be heard before.
I'm amazed.

My other album purchases include :
- "And Serenity" by Glenn Gould
- "Clapton Chronicles: The Best Of Eric Clapton" by Eric Clapton
- "Moondance" by Van Morrison
and
- "Peachtree Road" by Elton John

Now I'm going to get back to being blown away but what a goddamn genius Brian Wilson is.

Arthur
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A Very Weird Email

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I woke up to find the following in my inbox.
I wouldn't suggest reading the entire thing because it's just too baffling.
After reading this (if you wish) could you perhaps tell me if you too have been recieving this religious blib-blab?
Oh and don't get all moist thinking that I'm picking on The Qur'an because I loathe all religions equally.
Religious is nothing more than brain dead group think.
There might be a God-type figure up there but there is no Jesus coming around to see us.
I don't understand how someone can have so much religious fervency that they would send out this babble?
How can one be so dedicated to fictional Jesus-y type beings?
Anyhow onto the email:
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From: "xxxx"
To: "xxxx"
Subject: The Sea Set on Fire
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2006

The Sea Set on Fire

The Glorious Qur'an reads:

"والبحر المسجور" (الطور: 6)

"And by the sea that is set on fire" (At-Tur: 6)

This Qur'anic verse comes in the context of an oath to emphasize the special significance of the subject matter by which the oath is given, as Allah (all glory be to Him) is definitely above the need to give such an oath.

Searching for Meanings

Now, what is the special significance of the sea that is set on fire? Both water and fire are incompatible, as water quenches fire, and fire sets water to boiling and evaporation. How then can an ocean full of water be set on fire? Such incompatibility has driven early commentators on the Holy Qur'an to suggest that this could only happen on the Last Day, depending on another Qur'anic verse where such an event is explicitly described (LXXXI: 6). Nevertheless, the context in which the oath "by the sea set on fire " and 5 preceding verses describe realities that are all currently existing in our present day work, and hence another linguistic meaning for the adjective "al-masjour" other than "set on fire" was earnestly searched for.

Among the linguistic meanings derived from such an adjective is: "full of water and restrained from further encroachment over the nearby continental masses". This is correct, because the largest quantity of fresh water today (77% of all water on land) is entrapped in the form of very thick ice sheets in the two Polar Regions as well as in the form of ice caps to highly elevated mountains. For such a great mass of ice to melt, an increase of only 4° - 5° C in the temperature of the lower atmosphere above the average summer temperatures is needed. In such a case, this melt can raise the water level in present day seas and oceans by more than 100m, which is enough to drown most of the present day plains where the majority of human settlements exist. Nevertheless, Earth scientists have recently discovered that all of the present day oceans and some seas (such as the red Sea and the Arabian Sea) are physically set on fire, while others (such as the Mediterranean, the Black and the Caspian Seas) are not.

The Phenomenon of Mid-oceanic Volcanism

As mentioned previously, more than 64,000 km of mid-ocean ridges have - so far - been mapped around mid-ocean rift valleys. These oceanic ridges are basically composed of volcanic basaltic rocks that have been spouting out from the oceanic rift zones (at temperatures of about 1000° C or even more). Such intensive oceanic volcanicity builds up the mid-oceanic ridges and spreads them out laterally, by the phenomenon known as sea-floor spreading. As they are constantly fed by fresh basaltic flows, new slabs of the oceanic crust are built on both sides of the rift zones. Mid-oceanic volcanism evolves from fissure volcanism that emanates from the mid-oceanic rift systems where the oceanic crust is rifted and the opposite sides of the rift zone are pushed aside by the emanating magma. Basaltic flows and eruptions, fed from elongated secondary magma chambers below the center of the mid-oceanic ridge, pour out along the ridge axis. Sea-floor basalt from the surface of the oceanic crust, (which is about 7km thick on the average) normally consists of:

0-1 km of sediments (top)
1 km of pillow lava basalts
5 km of gabbro sills fed by dikes (bottom)

Post-eruptive phenomena that can result from interaction of phreatic waters with buried hot rocks include the following (cf. Emiliani, C., 1992, p 203):

1. Hot springs, which are formed when phreatic water is heated and mineralized in contact with hot rocks.

2. Geysers, which are periodic eruptions of boiling hot water (200°C or even more) due to circulation with superheated waters at depth, which are in direct or indirect contact with hot rocks (1000°C or even more).

3. Fumaroles, which are gaseous exhalations of water vapor enriched with SO², H²S, HCI, and HF (in order of abundance).

4. Solfataras, which are fumaroles rich in sulfur compounds.

Most of the current volcanic activity at the bottoms of seas and oceans has been going on for the past 20-30 million years, although some have persisted in their activity for 100 million years or even more (e.g. the Canary Islands). During such long periods of activity, the formed volcanic cones were gradually carried away for several hundreds of kilometers from the constantly renewed plate edge. Consequently, such drifting volcanic cones became out of reach of the magma body that used to feed them and hence, faded out and died. The current floor of the Pacific Ocean contains a great number of submerged, subdued volcanic craters (guyots), besides a large number of violently active volcanoes (e.g. the ring of fire).

Form the above mentioned discussion it is obvious that all seas and oceans that are currently experiencing sea-floor spreading are physically set on fire, while closing seas are not. Such fire on the seabed is in the form of very hot basaltic flows and other magmatic extrusions pouring out from the rift valley systems that rupture the Earth's lithosphere. Such rifts run for terms of thousands of kilometers across the globe, in all directions, to a depth of 65-150 km where it connects the seabed with the extremely hot plastic, semi - molten (asthenosphere) and hence cause such seas to be physically set on fire.

This most striking fact of our planet was not known until the very late sixties and early seventies of this century. The explicit Qur'anic precedence with such a very striking, but deeply hidden fact of our seas and oceans is a clear testimony that this Glorious Book is the word of The Creator, in its Divine Purity.
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Arthur
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Christmas Is Over

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Now that this silly holiday is over can we move on with our lives?
Oh Goodie!
I finished reading the book by Janet Evanovich ("Twelve Sharp") and then I spent the rest of the weekend with Kevin Smith.
I watched all of his films with many large cups of french vanilla coffee and my feet in the air.
So how did my readers celebrate their holidays?

Arthur
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Great Car Classifieds Site

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for a car then you need to look no further than lemonfree.com
They have the widest variety of Cars For Sale possible and it's an amazingly easy site to navigate.
Looking for your car here will make the stress of finding your dream vehicle completely vanish away.
Whether it's a Ford Ranger or Chevrolet Blazer (or a billion other vehicle brands!) you will find it on lemonfree.com
I can honestly say right now that this will truly be your one-stop shop for all your car purchasing needs.
Why should you travel from dealership to dealership when you can find exactly what you need from the comfort of your own home?

This post is brought to you by

Arthur
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Less Than 48 Hours Till Christmas

Dear Constant Reader,

Well it's less than 48 hours till the most made up holiday of the year and I can't wait!
I have the new book by Janet Evanovich ("Twelve Sharp"), my french vanilla coffee flavoring and a box of chocolates.
All I need now is to climb under the blanket and wait till this rediculous time of year has reached it's peak and passed.
It's a rare time when I get the chance to lay in bed and not have to deal with irritating assholes. This is my time to completely forget about everything, and to climb into the warmth of a good book and fattening food.
Sometimes it's just awesome to have a family that you wouldn't cross the street to save from choking to death isn't it?

Arthur
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"Mister Garrison's Theory Of Evolution" from "South Park"

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

"South Park" was once a golden show that's since slipped it's creative grip but here's a clip that had me rolling off my chair when I caught it on YouTube.
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"Mister Garrison's Theory Of Evolution" from "South Park"

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Arthur
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Help For Those Who Suffer With Gout

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

If you (or anyone you love) has ever suffered from the torment of gout then GoutSolve may just be the perfect solution for you.
Not only is the best solution but it's also an all natural solution that will work in five to seven days to quickly stop gout without any negative side effects.
Gout is no longer something that you need to suffer terribly from.
Using GoutSolve over three to six months can cause the problem of gout to be completely reversed.
So do yourself a favor today and visit any of the links contained within this post to find the best natural gout relief method that there is.

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This post is brought to you by livingremedies.com
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Arthur
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Free Christmas eCards

Dear Constant Reader,

If you enjoy sending free Christmas cards to your friends and family then you need to follow the links contained within this post to send some of the best. That's right I said free.
Besides the free cards Egreetings customers can receive a free 30-day trial to send unlimited eCards and a yearly eCards. The subscription cost is only $13.99. This is a far cheaper way to send the traditional paper cards and it just may save a few trees!
Membership also allows users to schedule eCards to arrive on a specific date so you can personalize a Christmas eCard now and schedule it to be sent out instantly or on Christmas Day.
Not only is the price right but the large selection of cards are cute and funny. These are the kinds of cards that I love to receive and I know that your friends and family will love to receive them as well.
So if you're looking for free Christmas cards that are sure to delight everyone on your list this Christmas then simply follow the links and start sending.
I promise you that you (and the people who receive them) will not be disappointed.

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This post is brought to you by eCards for everyone
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Arthur
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"Snakes On A Plane" and "Superman Returns"

Dear Constant Reader,

I spent this week watching movies and I wanted to talk about two in particular.
Let's start with "Snakes On A Plane" shall we?
David R. Ellis (who directed the amazing "Cellular") comes back at us with this ludicrous attempt to scare the bejesus out of us. From frame one of this disaster we are treated to Z-grade garbage where the acting is just above community theater.
I expected way more from this silly film if only because David R. Ellis is a good (in my humble opinion) director and Samuel L. Jackson is a great actor. How they chose to involve themselves in this is beyond me.
You would do well to stay as far away from these snakes and that plane as possible.
Onward to "Superman Returns":
Not only did the cast (except for Brandon Routh who is a mediocre Superman) outdo the cast of the original but Bryan Singer outdid himself as a filmmaker.
This was a rock'n'roll comic book adventure of biblical proportions that could not have been easy to even attempt. But attempt it they did and succeed they definately did.
Fly to your nearest store and/or video rental center and join Superman as he flies again.

Arthur
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Great Toner Cartridge Website

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

If go through as many toner cartridges as I do then you'll want to head over to officesupplyoutfitters.com.
Not only do they have great prices on toner cartridges but a myriad of other office essentials.
They have not only a huge selction but the prices are the absolute best that I've ever seen.
So head on over to their site today and get shopping for your office needs now. I promise that you will not regret it.
They truly are the premier online provider of toner cartridges, inkjet cartridge, fax supplies, MICR toner, and cash register and printer ribbon for all the major brands and some of the tough to find as well.
Outfit your office the right way and save money doing it.

Arthur
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RIP Peter Boyle (1935 - 2006)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

It's with great sadness that I share with you the news that actor Peter Boyle has passed on.
Whether it was him playing the Monster in "Young Frankenstein" or as the lovably cranky Frank Barone on "Everybody Loves Raymond" he could always put a smile on your face and in your heart.
My condolences to the family and friends of this very talented man.
Rest In Peace.

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from IMDB.com:
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Actor Peter Boyle Dies at 71



Peter Boyle, the hulking, snappish actor who started out his career as a tough but gained fame for his comedic roles as the Monster in Young Frankenstein and the irascible father on Everybody Loves Raymond, died yesterday in New York; he was 71. In news reports on Wednesday morning, Boyle's publicist stated that the actor passed away at New York Presbyterian Hospital after suffering from from multiple myeloma and heart disease. (The actor had suffered a stroke in 1990, and a heart attack in 1999.) A Christian Brothers monk who taught drama before turning to acting himself, Boyle honed his craft with both the Second City Chicago ensemble and famed acting teacher Uta Hagen. Bit roles soon gave way to a starring role in the Vietnam-era drama Joe, where he played a misanthropic factory worker; in the early '70s, he also had supporting roles in The Friends of Eddie Coyle, The Candidate, and Steelyard Blues. Boyle overcame his rather ominous appearance and brooding presence with a phenomenal comic turn in Mel Brooks's Young Frankenstein, where as the Monster he was the he perfect foil to the manic actors surrounding him, including Marty Feldman and Madeline Kahn, and stood out in two memorable scenes: one where he stumbled across a blind man (Gene Hackman) living alone in a cottage, and a show-stopping musical number with Gene Wilder, where the two performed a hilarious version of "Putting on the Ritz."

Boyle continued in character actor roles throughout his career, appearing in hard-hitting dramas, raucous comedies, and action flicks alike; very few actors could claim a range that put them in films as disparate as Taxi Driver and While You Were Sleeping throughout their career. Winning an Emmy for a guest turn on the sci-fi series The X-Files in 1996, Boyle was cast that year as cantankerous patriarch Frank Barone in the Ray Romano sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond. The show made him a household name and comedy television fixture, earning him seven Emmy nominations but never a win. In stark contrast to his TV role, his chilling turn as a racist former cop in 2001's Monster's Ball demonstrated that Boyle could still play intense drama as well as light-hearted comedy. Most recently, he appeared in The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause and the upcoming drama Shadows of Atticus. Boyle is survived by his wife, Loraine Alterman (whom he met on the set of Young Frankenstein), and their two daughters. --IMDb staff
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A couple of classic clips from this great man's career:

"Young Frankenstein" - "Puttin' On The Ritz" (1974)


"Young Frankenstein" - with Gene Hackman (1974)


Arthur
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DealKing.com

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for a great place to find great deals then you need to head on over to dealking.com.
One of their best offers right now is (are you ready for this?) either a Cingular Go Phone or the Prepaid T mobile phone for free. Neither phone requires a contract.
But that's only one of the amazing offers that you can find over at dealking.com.
They are truly the king when it comes to outstanding cash back offers and before you shop anywhere you need to start at their site.
If you love free stuff and great deals then you need to head over to dealking.com today.

Arthur
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He Pretty Much Covered It Didn't He? - Happy Belated Birthday Mister Douglas!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

I'm pretty sure that he had someone write this for him but that doesn't change a single part of the power of his message.
I was never a fan of Kirk Douglas but if these words truly came from his mouth I am a fan now.
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Friday December 8, 3:39 pm ET

LOS ANGELES, Dec. 8 /PRNewswire/ -- My name is Kirk Douglas. You may know me. If you don't ... Google me. I was a movie star and I'm Michael Douglas's dad, Catherine Zeta-Jones' father-in-law, and the grandparents of their two children. Today I celebrate my 90th birthday.

I have a message to convey to America's young people. A 90th birthday is special. In my case, this birthday is not only special but miraculous. I survived World War II, a helicopter crash, a stroke, and two new knees.

It's a tradition that when a "birthday boy" stands over his cake he makes a silent wish for his life and then blows out the candles. I have followed that tradition for 89 years but on my 90th birthday, I have decided to rebel. Instead of making a silent wish for myself, I want to make a LOUD wish for THE WORLD.

Let's face it: THE WORLD IS IN A MESS and you are inheriting it. Generation Y, you are on the cusp. You are the group facing many problems: abject poverty, global warming, genocide, AIDS, and suicide bombers to name a few. These problems exist, and the world is silent. We have done very little to solve these problems. Now, we leave it to you. You have to fix it because the situation is intolerable.

You need to rebel, to speak up, write, vote, and care about people and the world you live in. We live in the best country in the world. I know. My parents were Russian immigrants. America is a country where EVERYONE, regardless of race, creed, or age has a chance. I had that chance. You are the generation that is most impacted and the generation that can make a difference.

I love this country because I came from a life of poverty. I was able to work my way through college and go into acting, the field that I love. There is no guarantee in this country that you will be successful. But you always have a chance. Nothing should interfere with it. You have to make sure that nothing stands in the way.

When I blow out my candles -- 90! ... it will take a long time ... but I'll be thinking of you.

Source: Kirk Douglas
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Arthur
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The BEST Phone You'll Ever Own And More!

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for pitch perfect Video Conference equipment then you simply need to look no further than the products found at LifeSize.
Thier LifeSize Phone has an audio quality so amazing you'll believe that you're in the same room with the person you're talking to. Which you can also do if you're using their Video Conference products as well.
Don't believe it? Well right on their own page you compare the sound quality from an industry leading phone with a LifeSize Phone.
Everyone is going to want to toss their old Video Conference equipment out the window after checking out what these guys offer.
We're not talking about just good products we're talking about cutting edge products of unparalleled quality.
If you or your company is looking to get themselves an upgrade to the future then start with LifeSize. You will not regret it.

Arthur
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Today I Feel Bad, Tomorrow The World

Dear Constant Reader,

My medications we're finally delivered today and after only a couple of doses I feel worse than when I started. I was warned that there would be side effects but I wasn't expecting them so soon.
The temptation (at least right now) is to climb under a couple of blankets and stay there till year's end but I know that I'm supposed to be a grown up adult and face all the other running around I have to do tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have to go the doctor (again yay!) for a little follow-up type deal and to make sure that I never have to go through all this suffering again.
So what's the deal? I'm only 31 and this sick?
I know that I shouldn't be whining because there are folks sicker than I am but I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.
On top of all this the humidity is so high that I find myself riding my inhaler heavy.
Maybe tomorrow will be better? It had better be because I have a life to live.
I can't even have any of the Christmas cookies or candy canes because of the whole kidney thing.
Sigh.

Arthur
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Considering Lasik Eye Surgery

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're someone who wears glasses you know how expensive they can get and how they they can often be more of an inconvenience than anything else.
I wear glasses myself and I have been considering the idea of getting Lasik eye surgery done.
I've done mountains of research on the subject and the best site that I've found for all kinds of information should be your absolute first stop. They feature all of the possible information that you could ever want if you are considering Lasik eye surgery as an alternative to other vision improvement methods. Every possible question that I've had about Lasik eye surgery was answered on this site.
It's made me a more informed patient and will do the same for you.
Simply follow the links contained in this post and start what is guaranteed to be your one and only stop for information on Lasik eye surgery.

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Misdiagnosed / Triple Threat / A Bus Ride

Monday, December 11, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Boy howdy have I got a lot to talk about today.
A couple days ago I went to the doctor doubled over in pain. It was diagnosed as kidney stones. Right area, wrong diagnosis you fucking quack.
I went to the hospital when the pain got worse today and guess what? I've got a kidney infection, a bladder infection, and pneumonia. I was wondering what was causing the wheezing and fever when I woke up this morning.
To make the illness part of this story short (too late!): I'm a very sick boy.
There are few people out there tonight who understand exactly how I feel right now. I don't believe that I have ever been this sick in my life.
Now onto the bus ride:
I was unable to get into a car because of my various maladies so I had to take what is known as the handi-bus. This is a bus for seniors, the handicapped and the mentally challenged.
Tonight's bus ride home was mostly with the mentally challenged and boy am I super-pissed. I refuse to tell you why I'm pissed because then you would say: "goddamn bitch you're insensitive". Suffice it to say that I wish I had been born a few fries short of happy meal (okay so now you can say: "goddamn bitch you're insensitive") because those people get everything on a freakin' silver platter. I totally dig on the fact that they are "special" but Jesus potatoes.
I would be a happy, little man if only I'd been born with half the candles off my cake.

Arthur
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Gourmet Gifts

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Looking for a delicious Christmas gift for yourself or others?
I'm an absolute food addict and there is nothing that I love more than some nummy Gourmet Gifts to fill my already abundant stomach.
There's a great site that offers you the chance to shop for a tempting cornucopia of delicious treats that are guaranteed to be a hit this Christmas so what are you waiting for?
My personal favorite is the Holiday Gift Basket With Starbucks® Coffee and if some nice reader out there wants to buy this old man another one then by all means!
Get your delicious Gourmet Gifts shopping done quickly (and inexpensively!) at this one great site today!

Arthur
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Superman: The Director's Cut

Dear Constant Reader,

I just finished watching "Superman: The Director's Cut" and I think I may have wet my pants. Of course I'm talking about the 1978 "Superman" and not the new Bryan Singer nonsense.
Richard Donner's director's cut is great fun and only adds to the thrill that this movie is.
I have toyed with the idea of buying the new complete collection boxset (featuring a shitload of extras) but I hear that Warner Brothers decided to make a few of the discs faulty for shits and giggles. I'll wait till they get it sorted out before making that kind of financial invesment but in the meantime I have a single copy of the original film itself.
If you haven't seen "Superman" (and I don't think I wanna know anyone who hasn't) then here's your chance to see this classic film all gussied up and out on the town.
Oh and Bryan Singer?: Die ... thanks!

Arthur
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Humidify Your Life

Dear Constant Reader,

One of the things that I hate most is waking up in the morning with a dried out and sore throat. I realize that this is a problem caused by low humidity so I decided to do something about it.
If you have problems with dry skin or sore throats then you need to Click Here To Find Out About Holmes Humidifiers
This site will give you all of the information that you need to make a humidifier purchasing decision without a lot of mumbo-jumbo.
You can find a wide variety of information on various kinds of humidifiers as well as the kind of things you should look for in their features.
If you've been thinking about purchasing a new humidifier then you need to make a stop at this site first:
Click Here To Find Out About Holmes Humidifiers

Arthur
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10 things that should be illegal ...

Dear Constant Reader,

Don't you just love when I get "listy" with it?
Today's list is things that should be made illegal and why.
Enjoy!


  • Having more than one child. Keep in mind that your right to breed does not supersede our right to not be irritated. Disobeying this law will result in your uterus being kicked inside out by a farm animal of some variety.

  • Christianity. Failure to renounce your belief in Jesus-y things will result in you being fed to bears.

  • Anyone under 30 being allowed online. Failure to do this will result in parents being dragged into the center of town and stoned to death.

  • Women pretending not to be all about the penis. The failure of a woman to enjoy being plowed like the back forty will result in her being shunned by the community and possibly burned at the stake as a witch.

  • Talk shows. Failure to assist in the removal of talk shows from television will result in you not being allowed outside among the normals. You will be forced to stay blindfolded inside your home with possibly rabid weasels of some variety.

  • Romance novels. If you are caught reading a romance novel you will immediately be dragged into the center of town and sodomized by a large, oil-covered man with at least three types of sexually transmitted diseases.

  • Attending a movie dressed as one of the characters. If caught doing this you will immediately have the words "permanent virgin" tattooed across your forehead and you will not even be allowed to pay for sex.

  • Participating and/or attending interpretive dance concerts. If you are found anywhere near a place that holds this type of event you will be dressed in a pair of tights, covered in BBQ sauce and fed to wolves that have been starved for several weeks in large cages. The public will be charged a $5.00 admission fee to watch and there will be free hot dogs and balloons for the kids.

  • Self-help books. Whether you were buggered by a priest and/or an uncle as a child is irrelevant. Being caught with one of these books will result in you being buggered by a priest and/or uncle with a copy of the book itself.

  • Naming your child: "Bunifa", "LaQuisha", or "LaShawn". Violating this rule will result in you (and possibly your child) being burned alive inside the current crackhouse and/or any dive you call a home.


Arthur
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Need To Get Away?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

If you're looking for a great chance to get away from it all then have I got something for you boys and girls.
Cave Creek Resort Casitas is a wonderful chance for you to rent a condo (and rent it out when you're not there!) in Arizona's Sonora Desert.
Cave Creek Resort & Casitas is spread over 20 acres in the heart of Arizona's Sonora Desert, with spectacular mountain views and great golf just minutes away. Cave Creek Resort & Casitas is a place where relaxation comes naturally and memories are made.
If you're someone that prefers the warmer climates and wants to always wake up to a beautiful view then this is your chance.
This place is absolutely amazing and it's your best oppurtunity to get away from the stresses of this modern world.
Why on earth would anyone want to miss the chance to spend your leisurely time in paradise?
Not only is this a wonderful chance to get away from it all but an absolutely wonderful financial investment in your future.
Head on over and take a peek at Cave Creek Resort & Casitas today!

Arthur
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People's Search Usage Is Weird

Dear Constant Reader,

I was going through some of the search terms that people are using to find my blog and boy howdy.
Some of the single word and search strings that folks are using to find my blog?
Here's a small sampling:
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o Boys Town Donkey Show
o Crazy Person Clip Art
o Unicycle Stacked People
o Transvestites
o Mel Gibson Kids
o Sexual Awareness Alaska (wtf?!)
o Create Your Own Avatar Bender For Kids
o Sammy Bender
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I'm not exactly sure why people would be combining these sets of words in the first place but as long as I can cater to people's fucked up search needs then that's okay with me.

Arthur
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50 Cent Is Acting Again?

Dear Constant Reader,

I want the person(s) responsible for telling 50 Cent (aka Curtis Jackson) that he had any talent whatsover to step forward. I want to do bad things to you. Things that involve stinging and hurting.
When I saw Mister Jackson (50 Cent if you're nasty) in "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" I wondered if it could get any worse. This man is simply useless on screen. His performance laid there like my ex.
Now I see he's in yet another movie that's entitled "Home Of The Brave" with Samuel L. Jackson. Oh Goodie.
Irwin Winkler is the man directing this cinematic disaster. He's made nothing but bad films as a director but has made many great ones as a producer. This will not be one of the great ones.
I suppose that there will be people who will actually pay to see this patriotic babble but count me out.
Now let's get back to hurting the person responsible for unloading 50 Cent on the world.

Arthur
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Tired

Dear Constant Reader,

I find myself overly tired lately. I tell people "just gonna go for a nap" and I find myself waking up the next day.
I'm not sure whether this has to do with simply getting older (which stinks anyways) or just a general blech view toward everything around me.
Everything that I try lately seems to bore the crap out of me and when I turned 31 (last month) I thought I'd finally dug a comfortable rut for myself. A rut that I could be happy and content in. This really hasn't happened.
How in the hell does someone find themselves 31 years old and not where they want to be?
What's really disturbing me is the question: "Will be like this when I'm 40?". Hopefully I won't because that's just going to make me feel worse than being 31 and not knowing what's wrong with life.

Arthur
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Cookies In The Snow

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Tonight I threw a tin of cookies into a snowbank. Why? A friend of mine was over for an evening of pigging out and when they grabbed a hand-load of cookies at once I jokingly said to them "take the whole tin why don'tcha". They got incredibly pissy. So I got pissy too, grabbed the tin and threw them out into a snowbank like a crazy person.
I'm not sure why I had this reaction but it was something in their pissy tone of voice that made me batty.
If you cannot joke with someone (and this is someone whom I'd always joked with in the past) in this way then what's the point?
I told them to get the fuck out and they could dig the cookies from the fucking snow if they we're so inclined.
It seems that so many people around me take every little thing that I say the wrong way lately and if that's how it is so be it. I'm not going to change the way that I am because of some temperamental motherfuckers.
Except now I wish I had a cookie.

Arthur
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DVD Extras

Monday, December 04, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Am I the only one who will buy a DVD that they don't really want to watch just for the extras?
I find myself leaving the local movie/music shop with a bundle of movies that I normally wouldn't watch just because they happen to have an interview or something that I think I might find interesting.
This is a sad addiction that needs to stop or I'll end up going broke!
Please tell me that I'm not the only one who does this because I know it sounds insane.

Arthur
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P.S. :
This post is dedicated to Jules and skeet for solving a problem that was making me batty.

Most People Should Know ...

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

If you don't already know that borrowing money from family and friends is a bad thing then there is clearly something wrong with your family and friends. If you have never gotten into a fight with a family member or a friend because of borrowing money then you need to consider yourself lucky.
The first choice for many people is to run, run, run towards those we love when we get into a pinch.
Has it ever occurred to you that payday cash advance loans would be a lot easier than causing those around you to want to strnagle you?
I remember a time when I lent a good friend of mine (not a friend anymore boys and girls) $200. I never saw it again. It was the reason that a friendship of nearly fourteen years ended. You might be saying: "My friends aren't like that!". Good for you and I hope you enjoy living in a land of licorice elephants and dewdrop fairies that live in lollipop trees. It will happen to you whether you be the lender or the borrower in the situation.
Christmas can be a difficult time of year (not just for you but for everyone around you) and perhaps it's time to look into payday cash advance loans as an option instead.
I lost a good friend because we both made a bad decision. Don't do that to yourself.

Arthur
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Five New Rules For Parents

Dear Constant Reader,

I went to the doctor yesterday and had an epiphany. People need to stop having kids now or else.
There was this woman in the waiting room who (on top of being pregnant) had a 5 year old who wouldn't stop screaming and whining at the very top of their lungs. And I had to listen to it for an hour and a half.
I had to go grocery shopping after this and the situation didn't get any better. It seems that everyone in town had decided to take their bastard offspring shopping at once.
Fear not though because I have compiled a list of new rules for parents. Failure to follow these rules will result in parents being shunned from society and possibly moved to a deserted island to live in cages.

Five New Rules For Parents :

1. Stop taking your kids anywhere. Leave them at home with the TV or some parenting equivalent.

2. Just because a child fell out of your below regions doesn't mean you get special rights.

3. If you choose to break the first rule then put away your cellular phone and parent.

4. Don't be afraid to backhand your children. They are making you and the rest of society their bitch and what does a pimp do with a ho when they get mouthy? It's slap-a-ho time. You can learn a lot from pimps.

5. Look into getting them a leash. Nothing says I love you like tethering your child to a chair leg to teach them who's in charge.

Arthur
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Clerks II: The DVD

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

The special 2-disc edition of "Clerks II" is now on DVD and if you don't have a copy yet then you should be grossly ashamed of yourself.
I picked up a boxset of this and the original "Clerks" for under 35$ at WalMart and I'm so completely not disappointed.
"Clerks II" is a grossly funny movie with a great big heart.
From shot one "Clerks II" rocks.
How about the DVD extras? Over 6 hours of them.
The best scene? The donkey show. Ooh cake!.
Run to your nearest store and pick up your copy of "Clerks II" and if you can get the boxset that includes what's called "The Snowball Edition" of the original (it's own third disc) "Clerks".
I'm not a fan of the original film but the sequel is amazingly good.
Three discs of Kevin Smith fun that any Smith fan needs in their collection now.

"Clerks II" Extras:

o Commentary by director Kevin Smith, producer Scott Mosier, and director of photography David Klein
o Commentary by director Kevin Smith and producer Scott Mosier with actors Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Trevor Fehrman, Jennifer Schwalbach, and Jason Mewes
o Podcast commentary director Kevin Smith, producer Scott Mosier, and actor Jeff Anderson
o Deleted Scenes with introduction by Kevin Smith
o "Back To The Well: Clerks II" 90-minute making-of documentary
o "A Closer Look at Interspecies Erotica" featurette
o Bloopers
o 10 Train Wrecks: Video Production Diaries

"Clerks" Extras:

o Commentary by director Kevin Smith and members of the cast and crew
o Deleted Scenes with introduction by Kevin Smith
o Alternate Ending
o Soul Asylum music video
o Theatrical trailer

The View Askew folks know how to do extras!
Finally filmmakers who understand what can be done with DVD's.

Arthur

P.S. I loved "Jersey Girl" too.
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Lord Send Me A Camera

Monday, November 27, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

One of the the biggest disappointments in my life is that I never learned how to ride a unicycle. The problem is that even if I had learned to ride a unicycle I would have never been able to take a picture of it to share with the world. Why? I've never owned a digital camera.
Every year thousands of people around the world go without the correct digital photography equipment which leaves them with a lack of proper unicycle riding photographs. This tragedy has been felt across the planet.
We cannot leave it up to Angelina Jolie or Bono to save the cameraless and must do something beginning in our own neighborhoods.
I supppose it would be easier to have Brad and Angie adopt me so that I could use any possible camera they have but they keep rejecting me despite my many letters.
Don't let me go without a camera on your birthday this year baby Jesus and you just might save me from merely having to describe my life in words and instead give me the chance to do it in beautiful digital photography.
Don't leave me as a second class citizen anymore and bless my doorstep this year with a camera type object of some variety.
I may never learn to ride a unicycle but I will learn to walk with dignity among those who have cameras in their lives.
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This post was brought to you by HP.
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Arthur
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Oh what have I missed ...

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

I've decided to put my unhealthy need to play Second Life to rest and get back to the peaceful and non-creepy world of blogging.
I miss my readers delightful emails and sharing my very important thoughts with the world.
To those that I know that are still trapped I have one message: For the love of God get out!
Second Life is nothing more than a great way to piss away both your real money and your real life. This over-glorified chatroom will cause you to forget what's going on around you very quickly.
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In the meantime let's give a big "fuck off Arizona State Board of Nursing" and their complaints about the place I wanna have my first heart attack.
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WASHINGTON (AFP) - A restaurant in the southwestern US state of Arizona that proudly admits to trying to finish off its customers has introduced a new item on its menu -- the "quadruple bypass burger".
The burger at the "Heart Attack Grill" restaurant is stacked with four beef patties, cheese, onions, tomatoes and fried bacon, and weighs in at only 8,000 calories, more than three times what the human body needs in one day.
Patrons who have no appetite for the "quadruple bypass burger" can opt for the "triple" or "double-bypass".
"It's not good for one's health but it's only a joke," John Basso, who opened the restaurant 10 months ago, told AFP.
Customers who have room for more can also order French fries "fried in pure lard" and can purchase cigarettes off the menu. As a courtesy, the restaurant offers its "best customers" a wheelchair service to their cars by waitresses dressed in slinky nurses' outfits.
The idea, however, has not gone down well with the Arizona State Board of Nursing which has expressed concern that some patrons may confuse the waitresses with real nurses.
To avoid any confusion, Basso has posted a long message on his restaurant website saying that his employees in no way are medical professionals.
He said his ultimate goal is to open a restaurant in France.
"I am dreaming of opening a restaurant in Paris," he said.
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Isn't that the most?
You can visit the site of the world's best restaurant right here: Heart Attack Grill. Tell them that a hairy manly-man with a twelve inch penis who smokes sent you.

Arthur
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Second Life Gets Creepy & I Get A Good Laugh

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Today I was invited to an in-game funeral on Second Life for a real player. I couldn't stop laughing upon receiving it. Am I a prick? Yup and here's the log to prove it:
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[11:43] Brenda Knopfli: In Loving Memory of Brenda Knopfli. Brenda passed peacefully after losing her battle with cancer on November 21st. A memorial event is being held at Guys & Dolls on Sunday, November 26, from 6 PM to 8 PM SL time. All of her friends are welcome to attend

[11:43] Second Life: Brenda Knopfli has left this session.

[11:44] Issac Skomoroklov: R.I.P

[11:45] sammy Bender: R.I.P Brenda

[11:45] Tommy Hunt: R.I.P Brenda we will all miss you

[11:46] sammy Bender: and all the best to her family and friend's in both rl and sl u will b sadley missed :))

[11:46] Joseph Palliard: Sorry I don't attend creepy online funerals for avatars and or the people who played them. Unlike the people who do I have a life. Get some fresh air people.

[11:48] Tommy Hunt: you watch what your saying and get some respect she was a real person like anybody else just sat behind a monitor so watch your words

[11:48] Joseph Palliard: Don't threaten me I can say what I like about whom I like now I'll be over here enjoying reality while you folks bury an avatar

[11:49] Tommy Hunt: oy you fucking prick dont start

[11:49] Tommy Hunt: get clever and you will be sorry noob il tell you now

[11:50] Tommy Hunt: you might think your safe behind a monitor but i will show ya

[11:50] Joseph Palliard: Looks like I already started ... you enjoy your make believe funeral just make sure the morgue does a good job on the avatar corpse .... the pasty look isn't attractive

[11:50] Tommy Hunt: you fucking prick grow up and sort your head out you wanker

[11:51] Joseph Palliard: angry much?

[11:51] Tommy Hunt: people like you need to grow up

[11:51] Tommy Hunt: il tell ya wehat got for the under 16 part of SL it will suit you better

[11:52] Joseph Palliard: you're going on mute now .... oh wait are the pews at the fake funeral gonna be like camping chairs will we get paid to sit? that would be fun ... is there going to be hot dogs and orange drink?
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I would put a stop to this nonsense if I were the real family and friends of this player. I wonder who logged on under her name anyways? Is the player really dead or is this some sick roleplay thing? Anyway that you slice this it's c-r-e-e-p-y.
I wonder how hard it would be to buzz the memorial in my jet?

Arthur
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Check Out Antonio

Friday, November 17, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Considering that I come from the catfish capital of Canada this video holds a special place in my heart.
I entirely question the sanity of the perosn in the video and rightfully so. The transformation that takes place here is the most mesmerizing event since little baby Jesus popped out of Mary oh so many years ago. And that's ... frightening.
Not frightening in the way that say "The Exorcist" was frightening but frightening in the way that Uncle Joe gets at Christmas time after several egg nogs.
I'm not saying that I don't like it because I do. What I'm saying is that watching a man go from man to catfish in such an astonishing way is way more than I can wrap my mind around.
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Antonio Master Impressionist :

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Arthur
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Not Entirely My Friend ...

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

Welcome to my gayest post ever ... erm.
Some idiot over here is throwing around the term "gay" like Richard Simmons throws punches at rude folks in airports.

He is making reference to this video by Elton John from a 1984 song on his "Breaking Hearts" album entitled "Passengers":
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He calls this simply the "Gayest.Video.Ever".
Boy is he barking up the wrong rainbow tree.
If we're going to throw around terms like "gayest ever" then I think I can present a far better nominee for that.
I present to you ...

Elton John - "A Word In Spanish" (1988) ( from the 1988 album "Reg Strikes Back")
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Now that's gay.
Great song, flamingly beautiful video.

Arthur
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Tassimo Hot Beverage Machine

Dear Constant Reader,

If you enjoy a good cup of coffee or coffeehouse style beverage as much as I do then you're going to want to run over and grab yourself a Tassimo Hot Beverage Machine.
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Item Description From Site:
This revolutionary one-cup hot beverage maker has taken the world by storm! The Tassimo Hot Beverage System allows you to make the hot drink you want, when you want it. It's truly amazing. The same machine that makes a real espresso and freshly brewed filter coffee from some of your favorite U.S. and European brands, also makes real milk-based beverages - something for everyone. Enjoy a perfect cup of coffee, espresso, latté, cappuccino, créma, hot chocolate or tea at the touch of a button. No fuss, no mess and no waiting in line. The Tassimo System uses premeasured T-DISCS filled with delicious, high-quality coffee, tea, chocolate syrup and real milk to create coffee house style drinks instantly, in the comfort of your home. Each cup is freshly brewed to celebrate its true character and gives you the taste you love, every time.
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If that isn't the most amazing thing us hot beverage lovers have ever seen then I honestly don't know what is.
I simply cannot think of a better way to enjoy that perfect cup of coffee then by using this handy dandy little machine to make it.
If you're a coffee lover (or know of one) then the Tassimo Hot Beverage Machine is the Christmas gift that you need to pick up this year.
You'll never want to use that same old coffeemaker again.

Arthur
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CIBC: Criminal Banking Masterminds

Dear Constant Reader,

The Canadian Imperial Bank Of Commerce is a giant nest of criminals that are sucking Canadian's dry.
If you have a loved one who has an account with these decadent monsters then you need to tell them to get their money out.
If they aren't drowning a person in service charges they are outright locking your money in and holding it hostage. Basically they enjoy making their customers their bitch while living hogwild on the interest that your money is gathering.
Now you're probably saying: "don't most banks do this?". Not even close to the extent that CIBC does. Are they mafia owned? Is CIBC a front for a drug operation?
If you have a CIBC account (of ANY kind) take your money and find a bank that won't press you against the counter and make you their pays-for-lunch lover.
You don't believe how shady they truly can be? Check out this juicy news story from 2005: How CIBC Cashed In on Mutual Fund Fraud. Or maybe this?: CIBC agrees to $80 million US penalty over Enron accounting fraud
Who do you think is paying for these criminal slip-ups?

Arthur
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Where has Arthur been?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

My four devoted readers are probably wondering where the hell I've been so here goes ... I've become addicted to Second Life.
It is just this amazingly wild place where you can make anything happen. Whatever your fantasy or wildest fetish you can find it in this game.
I've found myself playing with Tom for the last few days and completely unable to stop.
I thought I'd better let you all out there know that I haven't forgotten about the blog and that I am still alive and well.
My Second Life name is Joseph Pilliard so if you wanna pop in and greet me (and help me build my goddamn house!) then please do so.

Arthur
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oHello Instant Phone Cards & Calling Cards

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Dear Constant Reader,

This has got to be the best deal I have ever seen for prepaid phone cards.
These online calling cards from oHello will rock your telephone call world if you make as many telephone calls as I do.
It's so quick and easy and the prices are absolutely amazing.
You can save up to 90% on your long distance calls and I can't think of anything better.
oHello truly is the leading provider of online prepaid calling cards that are delivered to users instantly via email.

Follow the following link and start saving on your calls TODAY! :
oHello Instant Phone Cards & Calling Cards

Arthur
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